Icovered her mouth with my hand and her eyes widened with shock and rage.“You’re my girlfriend, Ali, but you’ve made it very clear to me that’s allyou’ll ever be,” I spoke in a hushed, even tone, teetering steadily towardmalevolent. I didn’t like it. I didn’t like who I was, who she’d turned meinto. “Maybe you should remind yourself of how temporary that title can be,whereas my friendship with Molly has been a permanent fixture for most of mylife. You can tell me you’ll never marry me, orwannamove in with me, but youdon’tget tocall the shots onthis.”
Ilowered my hand, pleased with myself, and noted the TV had been turned off.
“Howdare you,” she gritted out from between clenched teeth. Then, she announced,“I’m leaving.”
“Okay.”
“Idon’t know if you’ll hear from me again,” she threatened, glaring up into myeyes as I remained indifferent, and the panic began to seep in.
I’d pushed it too far. I’dbeen too cruel, toohonest.I’m lucky to have her, and why couldn’t I have just bitten my damn tongue?
“That’sfine,” I found myself saying, despite the panicked rambling in my head.
“Haveawonderfultime,” she spat bitterly,and hurried around me to rush through the living room and out the door withoutanother word.
Myhands laid over my face, covering my eyes. I groaned through my frustration andanger,just as quiet footsteps moved in from behindme. My hands dropped to my sides. “So, what’dy’allhear?”
“Oh,um,” Dad muttered. “Not all that much, right, darlin’?”
“Oh,no, sweetheart. We didn’t hear much at all. Just, you know, the parts about herbein’ jealous and worried about you going on tourwith Molly, but we didn’tmeanto—”
Iturned and leveled them both with a knowing glare. “Just say you heardeverything, all right?”
Dadshrugged apologetically. “It’s an old house, Chad. Thin walls.”
Brushingthem off with a wave of my hand, I headed up the stairs. I didn’t have time todeal with this. Angry girlfriends. Nosy parents. Headaches that throbbed andthreatened to split my skull.
“Areyaokay?” Dad called after me.
“Yeah,”I answered grudgingly, reminding myself that I wasn’t inherently annoyed withthem. “I’ll be fine. I justgottafinishpackin’ and go tosleep. My head’skillin’ me.”
***
I wokein the middle of the night to my phone ringing. I reached over to mynightstand, smacking my hand around until I grasped the offending object in myhand. “Hello?” I muttered without bothering to open my eyes and see who wascalling.
Iwas met with sniffles and a watery, “Ch-Chad?”
“Forcryin’ out loud, Ali,” I grumbled, clapping a handagainst my forehead. The aspirin I took before asleep seemed to have killed myheadache. Now the only pain I felt was originating from somewhere in my gut.Gnawing. Threatening.
“I-I’msorry for waking you up.”
Myheart softened and I sighed.“It’s okay.”
“Ishouldn’t have said that shit earlier. Not when you’re leaving in the morning.I’m sorry.”
“Youshould never feel sorry for being honest with me,” I told her.
Shewas silent for a moment. Now more awake, I wondered if she realized I’d knownshe was being honest. Maybe she’d felt like she could backpedal, take it allback and put it behind us, like it’d never happened. But ithadhappened. She’d admitted she was jealous. And more than that, I’d been honestwith her. I knew I wasn’t a priority in her life, but she wasn’t one in mineeither. Not anymore. Not like before. I knew our bond was slipping from mygrasp, and I knew whatever that meant for our relationship couldn’t be good. Iconsidered there might still be a chance to repair things, and perhaps we couldtry, but that wasn’t happening now, not right this second.
“Willyou call me when you land tomorrow?”
Inodded in the darkness, increasingly aware of the severity of pain now sweepingover my abdomen. Jabs of an invisible knife struck deep, twisting and turninguntil my forehead dotted with sweat. “Yeah, of course I will.”
“Okay.Because I didn’t mean what I said, you know.”
“Yeah.”I choked down a bout of nausea. “I know.”
“What’swrong?” she nearly snapped. “I’m trying to talk to—”
