Who knows if she reallymeant it when she said it back? Who knows if it was for me or simply to satisfythe kids? But my chest had thrummed with life as she uttered the words, and I’davoided the scrutinizing glare of my wife, the angel of the living room, andhad buzzed with excitement throughout the rest of the day.
How amazing it was, tobe given a second chance atthis. Love.Life.
“Jon?”
“Yeah, man; I’m here. Iwas just … thinking.”
“Uh-huh. Hotbabysitter, right?”
I wiped a hand over mymouth. “You have no idea.”
“Shit happens for areason,” he muttered, and I questioned what exactly he meant by that. What washe referring to?Whowas he referringto? And when I asked him to clarify, he said, “I mean, dude … not to be morbidhere or anything, but you’ve just beenkindadriftingthrough life for a long time now. Even before Beth died. Then, this girl justwalks into my club, and … well, what I’m saying is, you’re welcome.”
I laughed and repeated,“You’re welcome?”
“She walked intomyclub, dude, andIasked her to be your babysitter. Obviously, this is all my doing.So, you’re welcome.”
“Sure, take all thecredit.” I shook my head, laughing.
“Oh, I will. Butanyway, we’ll get back to that … Tell me about yesterday.”
So, I did. I told himabout meeting Tyler Meade, Devin’s bass player, and Chad Wilcox, the back-upguitarist. How they’d all accepted me quite literally with open arms. Howthey’d teased me about myvirgin skinand needing to get some ink. I told him about our time in the studio. How itcame so naturally to me, to play with them and become a part of their group.Like I’d always been the missing piece. Like it’d taken all those years ofstruggle and heartache to bring me to that precise moment. I told him abouthow, for the first time in possibly forever, I’d felt content andgoodin my life. And how none of itwould’ve happened if Beth hadn’t died, if I hadn’t met Tess, and if she hadn’tencouraged me to write that one song about my broken heart.
“Like I said, shithappens for a reason,” Jeff said. I heard his smile. I heard his pride.
“Yeah,” I breathed, andjust as I was about to confess that I was in love with her, there was a knockat the door. “Hey, Igottago. Someone’s here.”
“Jon, it’s like, eighto’clock at night. Who the hell would be at your placenow?”
Was it really thatlate? The girls needed to get into bed. They had school the next day. I sighedexhaustedly, at allowing time to get away from me, and muttered, “No idea. I’lltalk to you later.”
Another knock, and withcaution threading between her words, Lilly said, “Daddy? Who is that?”
“I’mgonnafind out, honey,” I said, and when I peeked throughthe peephole, I found Tess on the other side. An immediate wash of concernsoaked my skin at the familiar expression on her face and I threw the door open.“Tess? Is everything okay?” I don’t know why I even bothered to ask; I alreadyknew it wasn’t.
She didn’t make a moveto come in. She just stood there, her bag hanging unceremoniously from herwhite-knuckled fist with a look that said the world was ending painted to herface. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I didn’t know where else to go.”
I reached out andwrapped an arm around her waist, leading her into the apartment and closing thedoor behind her. “You’re always welcome here. You know that,” I replied softly.
As I led her to thekitchen table, the girls hopped up from the couch excitedly, trailing behind uswith joyous jumps and squeals. “Tess!” Shelly shouted happily, and I lookedover my shoulder to glare a warning at them.Settle down, I hoped the look said, and it must’ve because theystopped their celebrations abruptly.
“Daddy?” Lilly asked asI sat Tess down at the table. “What’s wrong?”
“Lilly, not now, okay?”
Tess shook her head.“They’re fine, Jon.” She offered the girls a weak smile that didn’t even try tomeet her eyes. “I’m okay, guys.”
“You sad,” Annabelreplied, emphasizing the phrase with a pout.
Tess nodded and hercrystal eyes glazed. “Yeah, honey. I am.”
“Why sad?” Annabelasked, immediately concerned, as worry overtook the happy expressions on Lillyand Shelly’s faces.
I crouched beside Tessand addressed the girls with a pleading look. “Hey, ladies, can you go to yourroom for a few minutes, please? Get your pajamas on and I’ll be there to tuckyou in, okay?”
“You said you’d read,”Shelly protested.
“Tomorrow night, okay?”
