But it was his day off,too. He’d had such a long day, and I was sure he’d want to spend the time withhis daughters. I didn’t want to bother him with my own neediness, and so Ithought better of it.
Grandma shuffled herway into the living room, dropping into the recliner as I grabbed a broom andswept the crumbs from the floor.TheFamily Feud’s vintage jingle filled the house once again and I sighed,deciding that a Mandy Moore circa 1999 listening party was in order. There wasnothing a little pop music couldn’t cure, and with the toast crumbs in thegarbage can, I headed down the hall to my room.
An hour later, afterlistening to Mandy’s greatest hits album and dancing unabashedly around myroom, I felt calm and ready to continue with the day. Maybe I’d throw somethingtogether for dinner in the Crock Pot. Maybe I’d write a little. Maybe I’d eventake a nap. The possibilities now seemed endless, withall ofthat pop-injected happiness coursing through my veins, and I practically danceddown the hallway to the kitchen for something to drink.
“How are you doing inthere, Grandma? You hungry yet?” I called, opening the fridge and grabbing abottle of sparkling water. I uncapped the bottle and took a sip while I waitedfor a reply or a grumble. Some acknowledgment of my existence. But I receivednone.
I turned to face therecliner where she sat. “Grandma?”
Richard Dawson asked,“Name a part of the body people dab perfume on,” and as I walked into theliving room, I chuckled when the contestant answered, “The tip of the tongue.”I turned to my grandmother and saw she was sleeping. Eyes closed, her headlolled gently to one side, she appeared peaceful, and I decided to leave heralone.
“That’s not a badidea,” I muttered and yawned to prove my own point. I snatched the remote fromoff the chair’s arm and turned the volume down before heading back to my room.
It was when I stoppedin the hallway, to smooth out a bump in the rug, that I realized the house wassilent, save for the hushed voice of Richard Dawson coming from the TV. If Ilistened very carefully, I might even have been able to pick up the sound ofthe cat still purring in my grandmother’s lap. But something was missing. Onecrucial, irritating little thing that I never in a million years thought I’dmiss until the moment I realized I’d never hear it again.
Grandma wasn’t snoring.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
JON
With a dinnerofchicken nuggets and macaroni and cheese behind us, the girls and I sat on thecouch, watchingMoana, when mybrother called.
“Hold on, ladies,” Isaid, grabbing my phone from the coffee table and heading across the apartmentinto the kitchen. “Hey Jeff.”
“Hey, I’ve been meaningto call you all day and ask how it went yesterday, but I got wrapped up in someshit.”
“What kind of …stuff?”
Jeff groanedgutturally. “Well, let’s just say Mom hooked me up on a blind date … with myex-wife.”
I sputtered around alaugh. “What?”
Sighing loudly againstthe phone, he went on. “Yeah, apparently Mom was on some app that hooks you upwith people based on interests and not appearances. There are no pictures,dude. Doesn’t that immediately send up red flags, or is it just me?”
“Not just you,” Imumbled my agreement, glancing behind me into the living room. Shelly, Annabel,and Lilly sat quietly, transfixed on the movie. “So, you, uh … went on a datewith Laura.”
“Yep.” He sighed. Iwould’ve bet money that he was right now taking off his fedora and scratchingthe bald spot at the top of his head.
“Well? How did it go?”
“Honestly? It was …good.Firstwe had a laugh over the whole thing, andthen, we actually sat down for dinner. We talked a lot and it turns out westill have a lot in common, more than I thought we did.” His voice was tintedwith defeat. “And then, wekindacame back here andfucked, so there’s that.”
I snorted as I slumpedinto a chair at the table. “So, you’re hooking up. With your ex-wife.”
Jeff huffed out a sighand laughed. “Yeah, I guess so. I like her, man. I mean, it’s crazy but … Ithink we just forgot what made us into each other in the first place, you know?We had kids, money got a little tight, and the fights just started to feel biggerand more important thanus.”
For the first time inmaybe too long, I thought about the condition of my relationship with Beth atthe time of her death. The constant arguing. Her inability to tell me if shewas happy. I would never know if we could’ve worked through it. I would neverknow if we would’ve gotten divorced. But I nodded and sighed heavily as I said,“Yeah, I get that.”
“I think we’regonnagive it another shot,” he admitted. “Start over, Iguess. Maybe things will be better, now that the kids are older.”
“I guess Mom’s littleplan worked out after all, huh?” I teased, and Jeff grunted a chuckle.
“Yeah. Now we just needto work on you.”
I pursed my lips andtapped my fingers against the table as my thoughts easily made the shift fromBeth to Tess. I had told her I loved her, coaxed out by the girls, but hell ifI didn’t mean it.
Because I do. I loveher.
