“I know!” Lilly jumpedon her toes. “Daddy says helovesthem!”
From the kitchen, Jonshot an incredulous look over his shoulder. “Uh, those weren’t the words Iused.”
“Whatever, Daddy,”Lilly moaned, dismissing her father with a slight wave of her hand.
I laughed as I stoodand headed into the kitchen. “So, whatwereyour exact words?”
“I said they looknice. I never said Ilovedthem,” he grumbled, glaring withteasing eyes at his two oldest daughters.
“Same thing,” Shellysaid melodically, spinning around the living room in her long, flowing dress.
Jon leaned closer tome, so close I could smell him. Soap and spice. “Idon’tlove them,” he insisted in a low voice. “I look at them and Isee infections, and then, I think doctor visits and antibiotics.”
I laughed easily, as Itried to ignore the flutter in my chest and the knot in my gut. “They’ll befine. Just make sure they clean them.”
“I can’t get these kidsto clean their room, and you think I’mgonnaget themto clean theirears? Right. Doesn’thelp that I don’t know the first thing about this stuff.”
Smiling gently, I tooka step closer. “Look, you have a couple of weeks until you’re leaving,correct?”
“Yes …” He watched mestudiously.
“Okay. That’ll give meplenty of time to teachyouhow toclean them, so that way, you can make sure they’re fine. Would that make youfeel better?”
I watched the movementin his throat as he swallowed and then nodded. “Yeah,” he replied, continuingto bob his head. “That would be awesome. I’d really appreciate it.”
“Good.”
***
“Hey Harriett,” I quietly greeted, droppingmy bag beside the door. The cat responded with a tired lift of her head fromGrandma’s recliner. Begrudgingly, she blinked and stretched her forepaws outbefore standing and scurrying away. “Nice to see you, too,” I muttered with asigh.
Well, at least shewasn’t hissing at me anymore. That was at least somewhat of an improvement.
The house felt likenothing without Grandma’s breath to pump life in and out of the walls. Theshelves in the living room had been stripped nearly bare, withall ofher books packed neatly into boxes and stackedagainst the wall where her TV used to be. Sometimes I imagined her sittingthere, in the old recliner with her feet kicked up, and I’d feel guilty fortelling my dad to take her TV back to his house. I knew she’d rather watch herRichard than stare at a blank wall, obstructed only by cardboard boxes full ofher most prized possessions. But then, I’d remind myself that she was probablysomewhere far away, talking to Richard himself about his aviators, and I’dstare at the empty recliner through bleary eyes until I couldn’t stand thesight of it anymore.
I wished I could talkto Jon about these things. I wished I could cry on his shoulder. But I didn’tfeel I had the right to. Not anymore.
So, I crossed theliving room floor, my footsteps bouncing off the walls, as I hurried to mynearly-vacantroom with my phone in hand. I dialed Tim’snumber and left my door open a crack, out of habit, and pressed the phone to myear.
“Hey gorgeous,” Timanswered on the first ring. “How’s the book?”
“It’s good,” I replied.That question never got easy to answer. It still felt too surreal, the idea ofme having a book out there with my name on it. “Still selling copies, so that’ssomething, right?”
“Absolutely! Marcoactually justread it over the weekend. I meant to tell you.Helovedit. Especially those sexyscenes. Let’s just say he wasinspired.”
I groaned, laying ahand over my face to hide my embarrassment from nobody. That was one of thedownfalls of writing something closer to non-fiction. The people you know weresuddenly aware of your most private moments and thoughts. It was vulnerabilityat its worst.
“Sorry,” Tim threw in.“Too much?”
“No. I’m just tryingreally hard to forget that my mother has also read it.”
“Oh, honey. Do youthink she was inspired, too?”
“Okay,” I grumbled.“Now you’re making me nauseous.”
He chuckled gently.“Okay, I’m sorry. I’ll stop. Anyway, as lovely as it is to hear your voice, isthere a reason behind this phone call?”
“Um, actually …” Thequestion of spiritual existence suddenly seemed ridiculous and I questioned ifI should just leave it alone and forget about it.
