My brow loosened and myhead hung. “Yeah,” Ireplied,my voice gruff as Inodded at the floor. Then I lifted my head, looked at my father, and asked thatage-old question, “Dad, do you think I’m selfish?”
“Now, where the hell isthat coming from?”
I shrugged, emphasizingnonchalance. “Just curious.”
He cocked his head,thoroughly perplexed. “Jonathan, you are one of the most selfless people I haveever known in my life.”
Squeezing my shoulderonce more before letting go, he headed back toward the door, then stopped. “Bythe way, that woman in there …” He let out a whoosh of breath, shaking hishead. “When someone looks at you the way she does, you do what you can to holdonto them, and that means, don’t undermine her. Work through what yougottawork through, but … not a whole lot of people get asecond chance, Jonathan. When you get onethatgood, you don’t let it go.”
***
Mom took Lilly and Shelly to get theirears pierced a week later. They were beside themselves with giddiness as theyleft to spend the day at the mall, so Annabel and I hung out watchingBeauty & The Beastuntil Tess cameto pick her up. They had plans to drive around and look at Christmasdecorations, and apparently, I wasn’t invited.
“Daddy, you like theBeast.” Annabel pointed at the TV screen and turned to me to continue makingher observation. “You have hair.”
I rubbed a hand over myhead. “Uh, yes. I definitely have hair.” Thank God, I had inherited Mom’sgenes, while Jeff had been stuck with Dad’s early onset baldness.
“No. Here.” She pressedher hands to my cheeks, drawing attention to the beard I thought I’d try outagain. “Hairy.”
“Oh.” I nodded, nowagreeing with the comparison. “Yes. We do both have hair on our faces, this istrue. Why? Do you like it?”
She thought about it,tipping her head and twisting her lips to the side. God, she looked so muchlike Beth sometimes, and I smiled at the cherished sentiment. Glad to havethese parts of her with me forever.
Then, Annabel scrunchedher nose and shook her head. “No.”
“No?” I exaggerated shock and hurt, pressing a hand to my chest.“Why not?”
“It tickles!”
“Oh. So, you mean, whenI dothis?” I attacked her withwriggling fingers against her sides and showered her cheeks with kisses. Shefell back on the couch, giggling and pressing her hands to my chest. I laughedand pretended to bite her neck, and the squeal that hit my ear was enough tomake me go deaf and keep my heart afloat for the rest of my life.
“Come on, Annabel. Bitehim back!”
I lifted my head tofind Tess walking into the apartment, a tray of to-go cups from Dunkin’ Donutsin her hand. The side of my mouth lifted in an instant smile at the sight ofher, all bundled up in a wool, plaid coat and a long, cable-knit scarf. Theslouchy beanie came down over her ears and matched the color of her cheeks.
“Tess! Help!” Annabelscreamed as my fingers continued to tickle.
“You’re on your own,honey. I don’t stand a chance against your dad. By the way, Jon, you’regonnamake her puke if you keep tickling her like that,”she laughed, speaking from experience.
“Oh, right,” Ichuckled, and released Annabel from my torture. “Settle down and catch yourbreath.”
“It you fault!” Annabelshouted,brow furrowed with anger.
“I know. I’m sorry,” Isaid, smoothing her rumpled hair.
“Hey, why don’t you goget your coat? Iwannago look at some lights!” Tessexclaimed excitedly. Annabel was immediately ecstatic and jumped off the couchto run to her room. Tess put the tray of cups down on the coffee table andpointed at one after catching my eye. “Got you a vanilla chai latte. I didn’tthink you’d be into coffee, so I got you tea instead.”
“Thanks.” I nodded mygratitude as I grabbed the cup and took a sip. Warm and spicy, it tasted justlike Christmas. Which reminded me … “So, um, we’re moving after the holidays.”
Tess’s reaction was toimmediately clasp her gloved hands to her chest. “What? When … when did thishappen?”
Pulling myself up fromthe couch, I replied, “After I got my first paycheck, I started looking aroundfor places. There’s areally nicetownhouse I like alot. It’s perfect for the girls and me. Four bedrooms, two-and-a-halfbathrooms, a playground on the property … I checked it out last weekend when Isaw Devin—”
Tess interrupted with agasp. “Wait. It’s in Connecticut?”
I nodded slowly, stillunable to believe it myself. “Yes.”
“B-but …” She shook herhead and laid a hand against her forehead. “Everything is here. Your family,their school …” She clamped her lips shut, holding back on one little word Iknew she also wanted to mention:me.
