“Because I want to talk to her.I need to fix this.”
He doesn’t hide the agony in his voice when he says it, and I’m not the only one it affects.Sadness hits Valkyrie’s face before she shakes her head to clear it away.
“She wants nothing to do with you either, dipshit,” she growls.
“Do I not get to make my own decisions here?”I ask, interrupting their stare-down.
They turn to me, grimacing when they spot Lovelyn and Legend standing beside me.
“You might as well come in,” I tell them, pushing the screen door open.“Love, G-Man, go finish playing.Once we finish talking, you can come spend time with your aunt and uncle.”
Once the kids are upstairs, I wave them into the kitchen.“Come on.There’s some beer in the fridge.”
There’s a deep-set frown on Valkyrie’s face.“Are you sure about this, Dee?”
I shrug, my fingers tapping against my leg in sets of four.“It’s okay.It’s time to stop running, Kyrie.We’ve both been doing it for seven years.”
Her eyes tell me she doesn’t agree with me, but she won’t say that out loud.Instead, she shrugs and follows me into the kitchen.
They’re quiet as I grab the beers from the fridge and pop the tops before handing them out.The bitter liquid is cool on my parched throat.I’m not prepared for this conversation, but it’s here.Like I said, there’s no more running.
Cyanide picks at the label on the bottle.“The most important things I have to say to you are that I’m sorry for the hurt I caused and I love you.There’s background to what happened that I won’t get into until you both speak to Pope about the past.I will tell you we did what we thought was best in order to protect you both.We couldn’t think of any other way to do that except for the way we did.”
“You could’ve trusted us,” I tell him.
“In hindsight, we could have.But we didn’t, and that’s on us.We lost you both because of it.I think it was a painful lesson for all of us.”
Valkyrie snorts, but doesn’t say anything.She won’t forgive him as easily.Probably because of our past with our dad.She sees too much of Piston in him.
“You owed me loyalty in a way that Pope didn’t, Cian,” I tell him, using his given name so he understands the importance of what I’m saying.“You’re my brother.My blood.If anyone should have had my back—our backs—seven years ago, it should’ve been you.But just like Dad, this club was more important.”
He flinches as my words—my comparison—hits him.Cyanide hated our father.It was a burning rage that never fully disappeared, and when Dad died, he had nowhere to aim it any longer.To be compared to the man he despised the most is unfathomable.
“I don’t know what else I’m supposed to say to fix this,” he admits in a choked voice.
Despite the anger, the sadness, and the pain I still feel toward him, knowing he’s hurting hurts me.I reach out and place my hand on his arm.“There’s nothing else you can say, Cian.Words aren’t going to magically fix what’s broken.Sometimes what’s broken can’t be fixed at all.”
He shakes his head.“I won’t believe that.”
I lift my shoulder.“I accept your apology, but I can’t offer you forgiveness just yet.Time will tell because it’s deeper than you betraying us.You completely turned your back on us.You left us no opening if we ever needed you.And I did, Cian.I needed you so many times.”
“There was no other way,” he says with anguish.
I tuck a loose curl behind my ear and give him a sad smile.“There was.You just chose not to take it.Would you like to officially meet your niece and nephew?”
It’s not forgiveness, but it is an olive branch.
Cyanide clears his throat and runs his fingers through his hair.His smile is shaky.“I’d love to.”
“I’ll get them,” Valkyrie mutters, jumping from the chair and hurrying out of the kitchen.
“She’s never going to forgive me.”
“Her forgiveness is not mine, so I can’t say if she will or not.Don’t give up on her.She still loves you.We both do.You’re our big brother.”
“Love you too, Pixie.”
I scrunch my nose at the nickname I haven’t heard in years.
