“Ahh.” That’s all he says, and I nod as I stare at the coffee cup in front of me. I want the whiskey behind the shelf, but I stick to coffee. Not because it’s only ten in the morning, but if I come up with some grand scheme to fix this, I want to be able to ride out at a moment’s notice.
“When your mom died, I thought that was it. Thought you only get one. It messed with my head a lot. Some nights it got so bad, especially when I was feeling low and damn lonely, that I convinced myself that any warm body beside me was better than feeling nothing at all. But then I met Margret, and things changed.”
I huff out a laugh and shake my head at the audacity of it all. “Is this your way of telling me I’m getting a new mom? Or do you really think it’s a good idea to tell me to go fuck someone else right now because I’ll find someone just as good as Bailey?” I’ve never wanted to punch my dad before. Never wanted to cause him physical or emotional pain. But I sure as hell do now.
“Not what I’m saying, son. And before you get all pissy and storm off, why not shut off that brain of yours and listen for a change? Always bullheaded. Think you’ve got it all figured out till you’re proven wrong. Same thing happened with Bailey, right? Tell me I’m wrong.”
I hang my head in shame. “You’re right.” I breathe through the pain of what I did and then spill it. “I kept a file on her, not thinking anything of it. Moved the file to my new computer ’cause it was all I had of her while I was away. Pictures and ideas about what I thought she liked. Wasn’t trying to be creepy, but I liked the knowledge. Liked knowing about her. And I didn’t want to forget anything, not even the small things. I had no clue how long it would take for us to get together. Sure, I’d hoped for it to be soon, but I was prepared for the long run, years even. That’s why I kept it, like I was a part of her, even if I wasn’t with her. But then she found out about it, and she feels like I lied to her. That I hide things from her, and I did, which puts me on par with her ex. Which is a whole other bag of issues she’s dealt with. But….” I sigh, then look up at him and admit, “As you said, I’ve only figured out parts of her. She’s told me other things in her own time that make her even more beautiful in my eyes.”
“Knew she was a helluva woman the moment you introduced her to me. I wasn’t saying to find someone new. I know this one means a lot to you, just like your mother. Was going to tell you not to take the easy way out like I did. I want you to fight, son. Fight every day if you have to. I should have done more for your mom. I don’t think I could have saved her from the car accident, but I should have fought for more days with her and less at the office. I shouldn’t have settled for only seeing her when I went to bed beside her at night. Should have been there with her, even for the mundane things. I know you and Bulldog ain’t a fan of his mom and me hooking up, but she’s making me see that just going through the motions isn’t enough. I’ve got no clue where me and her will end up, but she’s making me see that if I want anything—her, more time with you, hell, even to get over taking these meds—I’ve got to fight for it. Every single moment of the day. Life’s hard, and it doesn’t get easier. The weak do the status quo. The strong overcome and get stuff done. In life, you do what needs to be done, not because you have to, but because you want to for a better tomorrow and not just another day.”
I let that sink in, and I appreciate that he lets me just sit in silence. I don’t know how long I sit here and think, but I hear people come and go. Even my dad leaves at one point.
“Hey, Gator.”
Hearing Jules say my name is enough to make me stop pouting and pay attention. I hope she has something to tell me about my girl.
“’Sup, Kitten.” I look up and see her sauntering over.
“You seen Bailey?”
“Not since this morning. Think she’s at work. Why?”
She shrugs, but something is off about it. “She was supposed to meet me and the girls for lunch, but she never showed or called. And when I call her, her phone just rings.”
“Maybe she’s busy,” Bass says as he joins us.
It’s only then that I realize he’s been sitting two seats down from me. I give him a chin lift, one he returns. Not sure how long he’s been sitting there, or if he even tried to talk to me before now. Just glad I got a brother close by. My gut is already turning at the possibilities of what this means.
“That’s not like her,” Kitten says with a shake of her head. “I might not remember much, but I know Bailey would never skip out on plans we’ve made, at least not without calling first. And every time I’ve called her before, she usually gets back to me within thirty minutes, even if it’s just a quick text saying she’s busy and will call me later. It’s been over two hours since we were supposed to meet up. For anyone else, I wouldn’t worry, but it’s Bailey.” She looks to me at that last part, and I feel the whole weight of her words. Something happened to my girl.
I stand and lean in close to kiss her head. It’s not much, but I hope the small comfort will be enough for her not to worry right now. “I’ll find her. Go see your man and have him ping her cell, will you?”
She nods as she heads off to the only place Flint would be if he isn’t with her at the clubhouse—his tech cave.
“We need more brothers?” Bass asks as he follows me outside.
“Not yet. Going to head to the school and see if I can find anything out.” I hop on my bike, and at the sound of another engine roaring to life, I look to my right and see Bass has done the same.
He shrugs. “Got nothing else going on.”
Even now, the guy can make me crack a smile for a split second. My gut is already telling me I’m too late. That going to her work will only make things worse. But I’ve got to see her. Not only because I fucked up so badly and I’m dying to have her in my arms, but because of all the shit going on with Duke. If he’s been watching the club—and I’m not foolish enough to think he’s forgotten about us—then he knows who’s coming in and out of here, and who they’re with. I’ve never hid my relationship with Troublemaker, but I wish I had if it keeps her safe.
We pull up in front of the school and I see her car, along with a few others. I nod over to it. “That’s hers.”
Bass nods as he also gets off his bike and starts walking with me to the door. My phone rings, and I see it’s Flint. I toss it to Bass. “It’s Flint. Find out what he knows. I want to talk to the girl at the front desk.”
I hear Bass answer the call as I open the door and head straight into the front office. But Janet isn’t the one who greets me.
“What are you doing here?” Troy says with a snarl.
“Looking for Bailey. You seen her?”
“No.” Just the one word that’s clipped.
I grind my teeth together as I try to keep my cool. “Her car’s out front, and she came in this morning. Just need to talk to her for a second about something.”
“Our staff are known for leaving their vehicles in the parking lot for weeks at a time if need be. She might have been here in the morning, but she isn’t now. I just made my rounds, and not a single person is left in the building. Now, if you and your friend would be so kind as to leave, I’m about to lock up for the day.”
