I didn’t understand how such hurtful words could be said with such sincerity. It almost sounded as if he was being nice. “I feel like I’m being smothered; I can’t breathe. What am I doing so wrong that you need to know every step I take? I quit my job when you asked me to, so I could move here to Anchorage to be with you. You can trust me.”
“I know your job was important to you. I wasn’t around enough to make you feel wanted, so you found attention with those other guys.” His strong arms wrapped around my shoulders, and I melted into his chest. When it was good with Cody, it was so good. He whispered the lyrics from my favorite song into my ear and I held on tight.
“Being with you is like heaven on earth. I don't know what I would do without you by my side. I need you. School is really hard right now, and I need you to understand just how important it is for you to stay out of sight. If my dad knew you were here, he’d cut me off.”
“I’m sorry for being selfish, Cody. I love you. I understand.”
“The best thing about you is that you’re moldable. You don’t know what it’s like to have things andwhenever I give you something, you appreciate it more than any other girl I’ve been with. You don’t even care that this house is a dive. All the others tried to make me spend my dad’s hard-earned money to update it.”
I didn’t know he had been with any other girls but was afraid to ask. If I did, it would prove I was a hypocrite. My previous job involved other men, so who was I to expect him to have kept his promise to only be with me? Still, it bothered me.
“When John told me he’d been you at the bar—again—I knew I had to get you away from that shit hole; that’s why I brought you here. You promised yourself to me and I’m going to make sure you keep your word.”
Shaking, I frowned. “Shit.” I couldn’t talk my way out of this one.
Like a flip of a switch, he instantly grew angry, and his jaw tensed. He pushed me to arm’s length and smirked. My cheek stung the second his hand connected. “Dammit, K. Why do you make me do that? Why can’t you just be a good girl and do as you’re told? Now I have to prove my point.”
“GET OUT, WHORE.”Cody opened my door and pulled me out by the arm. He removed the blindfold and shoved me away from the truck. As he hit the gas, I turned away in time for the dirt that flew from his tires topepper my back instead of my face.
The entire time in the truck, he ridiculed me for being easy with the guys at the bar. Even though he said he wasn’t jealous, it had been obvious to me that he was. Very much so. I couldn’t do anything but beg for forgiveness, which I had done every day since he found out.
A trailhead miles outside of Anchorage ran alongside the road, hooded by trees. The blindfold kept me from knowing exactly where I was. If not for the lights from the city, I would have been screwed. I walked as fast as I could down the uneven path until I reached the highway.
Temperatures had dropped and with minimal clothes, I shivered as I followed the signs to the city. Traffic was nonexistent after midnight, so no one knew I was out here all alone. It must have been two miles before the first exit to the city became visible. Exhausted, I pushed to pick up my pace and jogged down the ramp to the access road.
Shadows hid the beauty I was sure was all around me. Strange sounds came from the trees and on the ground. I was so pissed at Cody that I almost didn’t hear the grunts behind me on the trail. I just wanted to go home.
By the time I made it back to civilization—aka a trailer park—I had gotten over being upset and justwanted to be warm. A rustling of sorts came from a nearby garbage can and I hoped it was someone I could go to for help.
I froze when the dark shape turned—it hadn’t noticed me, yet.I was still drunk and the effects of the Oxy hadn’t completely worn off. I stumbled, which made the bear turn and focus on me. My heart raced and I held my breath.Is this it? Is this how my life is gonna end? Maybe if I don’t move, he won’t see me.
The bear stood on his hind legs and sniffed the air. I knew right then he had caught my scent.This must be my karma. This is God's way of punishing me for the life I’ve lived.
My entire life in Alaska never brought me so close to a bear. My hazy brain made it hard to recall the training we had in elementary school.
Stay calm and identify yourself. That sounded ridiculous, but I was willing to give it a shot. “Hey mister bear. Or, God I hope not, missus. Please don’t have cubs. My name is Kennedy. I’m a human. Please don’t eat me.”
Make yourself look as large as possible and don’t scream. I raised my hands, palms out as if to inform the bear I wasn’t armed and backed away slowly.
The monster took four steps toward me before I found enough strength to run.Oh no. I forgot: don’t run.Focused on moving faster than the beast, I rememberednot to scream. I was so scared, and it was so cold that my cries remained in my throat.
The first trailer I came upon had a shed positioned close enough to the house for me to fit between the buildings; the bear was too big. I forced myself into the small space at the same instant the bear slammed into the shed.
Somehow, I managed to squeeze myself further into the space just out of reach of the bear. Its claws tore the skin on my arm, and I forced a scream into the cold night air. A light turned on in the window beside the shed.
“I SUPPOSE youhad to pay the nice gentleman back for the phone call. Did you go down on him? Did he choke you? You better not have let him fuck you; you know you’re mine.”
“What? Cody, no. You know you’re the only one for me. I love you.” The horrible argument from just hours before had been forgotten in the midst of the bear attack.
“How’d you get the scratches on your arm, then? That bullshit bear story is one of your worst lies ever. I swear I don’t know how you got so stupid.”
The ride back to downtown Anchorage made me uncomfortable. He seriously thought I had offeredmyself in exchange for a phone call. He didn’t understand at all how scared I had been. The bear could have eaten me alive, and Cody didn’t believe a word of my story.
Chapter 13
Jake, age twenty-one—July 2006
HEAT FROM THEhigh sun warmed my face differently than it had the previous five years. Six inches taller and muscled from working out—what else was there to do behind bars?—I could easily overcome any of the guards. Not that I needed to, but I learned to be prepared for anything. They were all fat, so it wouldn’t have been hard to do. I pushed my glasses up my nose and smiled. A real smile, one I had hidden away for that very day.
