“Didn’t hate it. But it wasn’t fun like blowing you. I didn’t know them. Getting them off was more a sign I’d learned a skill than something I loved.” He ran his thumb over the back of one of Rusty’s hands, rolling a prominent vein the way he’d just played with one on Rusty’s dick with his tongue. “Getting you off was like, I don’t know. Like baking a fancy treat for someone you like and watching them eat it and love it, and feeling happy about that. The win is how much they enjoy it.”
“And your mouth is the oven?” Rusty pulled free to wave his hand. “Sorry, that was terrible. Although your mouth is hot.”
Cross chuckled.
“I get what you’re saying,” Rusty continued. “You can like making someone else happy even if you’re not in the mood yourself.”
“Right.”
“So that’s me happy as a pig in mud, the guy getting blow jobs and whatever. What do you get while we work on this relationship? Because I might enjoy baking someone a cake, but even if I lo— like them a lot, I don’t want to be the guy who does all the cooking for months on end, and never gets to eat. When do you get to eat?”
Cross managed not to make the obvious joke. “You holding me last night. That was huge. I needed that.” He realized that somehow, the argument had turned into how things were unfair for him instead of for Rusty. He wasn’t sure how to backtrack.
“So hugs, maybe backrubs?” Rusty asked. “I could take a class on massage. You said you liked the team massage therapy.”
“I do, but you don’t need aclass.”
Rusty shrugged. “Seems only fair. I bet you watched a bunch of porn and practiced, to give a bj like that.”
“Uh.”
“So I can learn massage. Probably a good skill for the partner of a hockey player to have, right?”
Cross was scrambling to keep up. “Maybe I should take that class too.”
“Aargh.” Rusty elbowed him. “Are you always this competitive? You can have the blow job skills, I can have the massage skills. I mean, I won’t ever turn down a back rub, but I want to do this for you. Fair, right?”
“I suppose.”
“Right. Okay, so I got the happy ending already. You want the rest of your massage sitting up or lying down?” Rusty bounced to his feet. “You know what? I have to pee. You get yourself facedown on the bed and when I come out I’ll give you the best untrained massage in this part of Kansas. Well, this floor of the hotel, anyway. Be right back.”
Cross was left blinking after Rusty as he shut the bathroom door behind him.Wait, what?He’d been prepared to be noble, to give Rusty up for someone who’d give him real sex without a two-year wait.Or never.Someone like Ayden, or whatever hot gay man Rusty wanted. Cross still thought that was the right thing to do. But somehow, he found himself ten minutes later, facedown on the bed, melting into a happy puddle of goo as Rusty dug strong fingers into his shoulders and neck and back. Inexpert, sure, but it still felt damned good.
Rusty said, “You look fuckin’ hot like this. Love these arms, shoulders, this spot right here. There’s a dimple.” He delivered a kiss to Cross’s lower back. “Gonna jerk off about you later, but right now, I’m going to work all the knots out of your shoulders. Gonna make you feel almost as good as you made me.”
Cross relaxed into a flood of happy, mellow endorphins, and decided any worries he had could just wait till Rusty was done with him.
Chapter 21
Over the week after Cross left, Rusty decided going back to just texts and video chats was super frustrating. They hadn’t done anything much after the morning sex-and-massage, just ate breakfast and lunch while watching movies and making out on the couch. Rusty had wondered at first if Cross’s enthusiasm for kissing had been exaggerated for his benefit, but if so, he deserved an Academy Award. Cross even got half-hard in those thin boxers a couple of times, before they finally put pants on. Rusty didn’t mention seeing his dick get interested, and Cross didn’t seem inclined to do anything about it, but Rusty had noticed and was reassured.
So, massage lessons. Rusty scrolled through his phone as he sprawled on Scott’s couch, trying to find local options. Cross really seemed to like to be touched in general. He’d gotten more… for want of a better word, cuddly, after they’d talked. When Rusty had hesitated on the couch about how close to get, Cross had hauled Rusty’s arm around his shoulders and leaned into him.
He hated that Cross had to leave late that same afternoon to fly back to Seattle and his recheck appointment.
Sucked even worse that Cross texted after the CT that his doc thought he should have another surgery. Rusty had tried to cheer him up but really, what could he say? Rusty knew surgical recovery meant more months of pain and hard work. Starting back at zero after five weeks of rehab effort would be a kick in the gut.
He tried to send memes and pictures of the ranch and little comments that meant Cross was on his mind, but that distance still came between them. They hadn’t done anything remotely sexual since the visit, no video, not even innuendo. Well, Rusty was beating off at least once a day, thinking about Cross telling him exactly how to touch himself, but that wasn’t the same thing.
At least Cross had said he was fine with folks at the ranch knowing about them, so that was something. Rusty knew even that baby step out of the closet was a gift. Would’ve been a better one if Cross was around to be out with, but he hadn’t had to feel guilty or scramble for cover when Nita winked at him on his return after his day with Cross.
Now he needed to find a way to contribute to his side of the wink.
“Hey, whatcha looking at?” Scott dropped down on the second couch. His nose was sunburned and he still wore the ratty playoff beard he’d half-grown, but he looked happy. The first few days back had been rough, folks tiptoeing around him when he got home after a day cleaning out his Portland locker. Now, after a week, the doom and gloom seemed to have lifted. Hard to stay doomy on horseback.
Or maybe on Caseyback.Rusty snickered, then batted away Scott’s playful grab over the couch arm for his phone. “Nothing. Get off.” But he turned the phone for Scott to see. Maybe he’d have advice.
Scott raised an eyebrow. “Massage classes?”
