Me:Any chance you can cover for me the rest of the day?
Kent:Sure. Everything okay?
Me:No, but I’ll fill you in later.
He sends a thumbs-up, and I tuck my phone away. Thankfully, there aren’t many people who know she was pregnant, so the list of people who need an update is small. There is time for that when Bluebonnet is ready.
I carry the bags inside and stick the ice cream in the freezer before carrying the burgers into the bedroom. “Grabbed burgers.”
“I’ll eat later.”
After setting the bag on the nightstand, I kneel beside the bed. “I bought chocolate, ice cream, and chips. Does any of that sound better? Or there are fries.”
“I’m not hungry.”
I carry the burgers and drinks to the kitchen and stick everything in the fridge.
Dragging my hands through my hair, I pace, hating that I can’t make her feel better. Then I remember the time she didn’t make the volleyball team. I sat next to her while she cried. Granted, she was actually eating that day. She downed her fair share of chips and chocolate while getting over her disappointment.
So I kick off my boots and slide into bed next to Bluebonnet. I can’t make anything better, but I can be here beside her.
She glances back as I settle, and I hold out my arm.
After a second, she rolls over and snuggles into me. Then the sobbing starts. Until now, I never knew what heartbreak felt like.
I’m not sure how long we stay that way, but eventually her sobs change to sniffles.
“Want me to grab you some tissues?”
“Stay here. I’ll just use your shirt.” She wipes her face on the soft cotton fabric.
I want to tell her that this changes nothing for me, that I still want to stay married and spend the rest of my days loving her, but what if she doesn’t feel the same? It’s wrong to trap her if deep inside she wants to be free. And based on the way she focused on the ground when the doctor was telling her that we could try to get pregnant again soon, I’m guessing maybe she’s rethinking our marriage.
But right now isn’t the time to talk about any of that. She needs time to heal, physically and emotionally.
* * *
When I wakeup hours later, Bluebonnet is gone along with her burger and fries.
How did she leave without my noticing?
I tap out a text.
Me:You safe?
I’m not going to ask if she’s okay because I know the answer to that.
Bluebonnet:Yes. I’ll be home later. Don’t wait up.
Seeing her pull away and not being able to do anything about it hurts. I really thought our relationship had turned a corner. Apparently, I was wrong.
Chapter 27
Bluebonnet
Ican’t sit here at look-out point all day. Soon the bearable early-morning temps will be chased out by the pounding heat of the sun. Summer hasn’t released its hold on us yet.
Besides, coming here was a mistake. I wanted some place where I could be by myself. After spending hours in the clinic, catching up on paperwork, I needed to be where I wouldn’t bump into people. And the high-schoolers who frequent this spot are likely sleeping.
