“Is that it? Did you get everything you needed off your chest?” She nods almost imperceptibly, but her face scrunches up as she sniffles. I step closer again. “Good, because I don’t want to do anything with Kennedy. I don’t ever want to see her again, if that’s possible. I wouldn’t go out with her for a million dollars and I sure as fuck don’t want to work with her, either.”
“But? Why were you kissing her?” Now she’s confused, and I can’t say I blame her.
“I didn’t kiss her, Lexi; she kissed me. I told Dani to check on you and that I was leaving. When I turned around to go, Kennedy grabbed me. I promise you, it was not reciprocated or enjoyable.” I wipe her face again. Despite the nagging compulsion to kiss her, I want to make this right between us.
“Why were you leaving?”
“Because I thought I messed this all up, and apparently, I was right, but for the wrong reasons.” I tuck my hands into my pockets. “I’ll call Sam in the morning. I’ll take myself off the project.”
I turn to walk away, but she calls out and grabs my elbow. “James? You really didn’t like kissing her?”
“No. In fact, I was looking to syphon some gasoline while I’m out here to get the taste out of my mouth.” My face scrunches up like I’ve bitten into a lemon. A chuckle escapes her before she can stop it, and I brush that same piece of hair behind her ear again. “Put the damn jacket back on. You’re shivering.”
Reluctantly, she allows me to help her slide it back over her shoulders. I like the way my jacket looks on her, and I realize I’m grinning like an idiot. Especially when she curls her fingers around the edges and pulls it tighter. “You’re… fuck. Lexi, I haven’t gotten you out of my head since the coffee shop. Kennedy’s a dumb kid trying to figure shit out, and that’s not what I need in my life. That’s not what I want.”
“What the fuck happened in the bathroom?”
I bite my lip and lower my head. “I’ve had some fucked up things happen to me when alcohol was involved. It, uhm, left me with a lot of anger, disgust, and regret. You were drunk, and I didn’t want to be the face of your regret tomorrow morning or any morning thereafter.”
“Shit,” she groans.
“Yeah,” I whisper, closing the small gap between us. I take a risk and I press my forehead to hers. “There was only one woman in all of Los Angeles who could get me to follow them onto a dance floor, let alone into a bathroom. She’s an angel with the prettiest pink hair and a thing for coffee.”
Her mouth moves, but she stays silent. Maybe I broke her.
“If you let me, I’d like to take you out sometime. Somewhere without the crowd, and probably fewer drinks in both of us. Not for work, and not on Sam’s dime.” My hands drop to her hips, and I can’t help but stare at those beautiful, pouty lips. “Hopefully somewhere with nicer bathrooms.”
“They have very nice bathrooms here, sir,” she smiles up at me. It’s soft, with a hint of an apology that I don’t need or deserve.
“We could go back in and confuse a lot of people by giving the bathrooms a second chance. Take it a little slower.” She bumps my nose with hers and my legs turn to jelly. She’s all I can feel, all I can see. Even the smell of her is intoxicating and making my head float more than the weed I smoked earlier. I want to bottle this scent so I have it forever and I don’t give two shits about how creepy that sounded in my head.
My pulse quickens because we’re about to kiss. I feel her phone buzz in her pocket, and she steps away again like we’re teenagers getting caught making out. I miss her body and how it fits so perfectly against mine. I’m hopeless, and I’m going to absolutely let this woman break my heart a thousand times over, if that’s what it takes.
“Uhm, I don’t know. I should probably just…uhm…I need to go. Dani’s friend is taking us home, and I … I’m…”
“What did I say? Please, tell me.” I am seconds away from dropping to my knees and begging her for a chance. What the fuck is wrong with me? She deserves better, and I should let her go. But I can’t give up. Not yet. “Come on, you were right there with me, and now you’re practically running to get away from me.”
I need her to blame me, to throw my words back at me and make me feel like a fucking loser. Otherwise, I’ll let my brain overthink things, and I’ll convince myself there’s still a chance. She looks like she’s on the verge of a panic attack. I can recognize the symptoms. I’ve had enough of my own to know, and now I feel like an even bigger ass.
“It’s nothing. I should…go.”
“Alexis?” I stare into her red-rimmed eyes. The tears are back, and I realize these tears aren’t from my dumbass not taking care of things in the bathroom. It’s something deeper that she doesn’t want me to figure out. This is raw pain; someone hurt her between her leaving the bathroom and now. “What happened in there? When you ran. Did someone hurt you?”
I’ll never forgive myself if someone laid a hand on her because I let her go.
“No one touched me. I’m… it doesn’t matter.
“Who did this, Lexi? Who hurt you? Was it Kennedy? What else did she say to…” She looks up at me again, recognizing the fire in my eyes behind all the pain. I’m ready to burn the whole fucking building down to find out who did this, and that’s when I figure it out.
The text in the bathroom. The phone call she got as she ran down the hallway. She doesn’t want me to see her phone either, that’s why she tucked it away.
“It’s nothing, I don’t matter.”
I don’t matter.It wasn’t a slip. Families are such a bitch sometimes, and somehow they always know right where to hit us. They have a special way of cutting too deep, knowing they’ll never let you recover from it. That has to be what’s gotten to her.
“You do matter. I won’t push you for what’s going on, but you shouldn’t be alone.” Her chin trembles, and it’s breaking my heart. She lets me pull her close and trusts me enough to hold her. “Let it out, darlin’.” Her body fights back sobs as I kiss the side of her head.
Rage like I’ve never felt before is growing inside me, and I have this urge to protect her from anyone and everyone. Protect her like no one had done for me all those times.
