She’s on her tiptoes, throwing her arms around my neck before I realize what’s happening. Her mouth smashes into mine and the world tumbles straight into the regret I still have over San Diego. I grab her by the shoulders and stumble away from her. I can hear Dani yelling at her, and I take that as my cue to leave.
I want to stay. I want to find Lexi and find out if she’s alright. I want to dance with her until I can’t my legs fall off or they throw us out of the bar. I want to kiss her. I’d give anything to hold her against me again. Instead, I’m going to sober up, go home, get high, and pass out. Tomorrow, if I’m lucky, I can work alongside her and not come across as a starving wolf or anymore of an asshole.
CHAPTER11
FADE INTO YOU
MAZZY STAR
I’m standingin the parking lot, looking at my Jeep, realizing there’s no way I’m capable of driving but can’t stay in the club either. Not with Kennedy’s total lack of regard for personal space and boundaries. I can’t get the flavor of her fucking lip gloss out of my mouth and I hate it. I want it to be Lexi’s. I’m such a fucking idiot for messing this up so damn fast. My phone buzzes; I want nothing more than to smash the fucking thing. But it wouldn’t do any good. She finds me no matter where I am.
Unknown Number
Come on, Jamie, I’m bored. Play with me.
I promise no one will drug your drink…at least not this time ??
I just want to fuck up your life a little more unless you’re already doing it yourself. Then I just wanna watch.
It’s too much. It’s all too damn much. My head is throbbing, my heart is breaking, and I’ve lost all hope. A diner sign across the way flickers against the dark night sky. At least I can hide there while I sober up. I sure as hell don’t have any money for a ride share. I take a step toward my new destination when I hear someone nearby sniffle and let out a soft sob.
I search the lot, and it takes me a second to find her, but eventually I spot the bright pink space buns over by the bar’s patio. There’s another sniffle, and I’m sure she’s the one crying. As I approach, I try to shuffle my feet and make a little noise so I don’t spook her.
“Lexi, are you all right?” That’s a dumb question; of course she isn’t.
“James?” Lexi stammers as she stands, wiping her face. “Shit. I’m… I’m sorry…fuck!”
“What’s the matter?” She’s shivering, and my instincts kick in before I even think it might be me that caused this. I’m the reason she’s breaking down in a parking lot. I wrap my coat over her shoulders without hesitation before I lift her face and wipe tears away with the pad of my thumb. “Please tell me this isn’t my fault?—”
“No, I just, uhm. It’s nothing.”
“You’re a beautiful woman standing alone in the middle of the arts district in a shitty parking lot, crying outside of a brewery party—it’s not nothing.”
She sniffles and tries to lower her head, but I won’t let her. “Look, I, uhm, I’m sorry I came on so strong, and I…I shouldn’t have thrown myself at you like that. I drank too much, and my stupid brain thought that—fuck—it doesn’t matter.”
“That was all on me; it was my fault. I drank too much, and I don’t want to fuck this up.” I wonder if she thinks I mean the job, when in reality, I mean any shot I have with her—if I have a shot. I offer her a pathetic smile. “You shouldn’t be out here alone.”
“I can take care of myself.”
“I believe you, I do. But it doesn’t mean you have to. Where’s Dani?” I glance around, but there’s no one. “She was supposed to come find you.”
“She’s probably still running damage control. I needed some air after…” she huffs and rolls her eyes, tucking her phone away and not bothering to finish the sentence.
“Damage control?”
“You two make sense. Go on, get back in there. I’m sure she’s waiting with legs wide open for you. She might have a black eye, but I’m sure you won’t notice while you stare at her fucking tits. I’ll see you tomorrow for work.”
“Are you talking about Dani?”
“You don’t have to hide it. Everyone was there. Hundreds of witnesses. But fuck it. I don’t care. Why should I? You’re just another asshole I have to work with. So, I’ll meet you in Long Beach. Don’t worry about picking me up.”
“Saw—fuck, you mean Kennedy?” She rolls her eyes. “No, come on. Kennedy was?—”
“You fucking kissed her not five minutes after you rejected me. She told me you were taking her home. I guess you thought it was two for one night—” Her head rocks back, and I can see new tears forming in her eyes. When she looks at me again, all I can see is disappointment, and it’s directed right at me. “Just don’t let her fuck up any of our work. In fact, I can talk to Sam tomorrow and try to get Kennedy to take over the project. I have enough shit to deal with, and I certainly don’t need you added to that.” She pulls free and shrugs off my jacket, holding it out to me. “I should go back inside. No, I should go home. I wouldn’t want to waste any more of your time.”
“Is that it?” I stare hard at her, ignoring the jacket she’s still holding out to me.
“What?” She pulls back, clearly not expecting the bluntness of my question.
