“I’m sorry, Mother! It slipped.” She couldn’t have missed that. She was right there. She had to have seen what he was doing. She had to have seen him holding me down. Bex was right, she’s never been our mother.
“It’s alright, Catherine. She’s simply excited about the news. Now, go back to the other room and we’ll discuss the dish later. Pastor Noah and I need to finish up.”
“You should have put it down before you started serving! This is why we have to save you from that loser. How are you going to serve God and Pastor Noah if you can’t even serve dinner?” She crosses her arms over her chest, cinching her sweater shut.
I blink back tears and realize that whether or not she knows it, she’s given me the chance I need. I race for the door, grabbing my bag and my keys as I go. I can’t get to the car fast enough, and when I do, I slam the door shut and lock it. My mother yells and she chases after me, but as I turn back, all I can see is Ronnie and that smirk as he leans against the door frame, licking his lips. I hold back another wave of tears until I’m far enough down the street that they can’t see me from the house. I pull over and release a sob that seems to come from every inch of my body.
I drive home in a haze, not realizing I’ve made it until I glance around and find myself in the parking lot of my building. I’m scared to get out of my car. I am scared to move. I know they’re not here, but that doesn’t make it any better. I pull my keys out and hold them between my fingers, staring at the dark hallway I have to go down to get to my apartment. They could be there. They could have gotten here before me easily. Shadows move and I almost scream when one of the other tenants steps into the light, headed toward their car.
I sprint across the parking lot and to the elevator, looking over my shoulder every few seconds and trying to listen to every noise. But I can’t because his voice is an echo trapped in my mind.
When I’m finally in my apartment, I lock the door and turn on every light I can—kitchen, hallway, bathroom, and even the closet. A fluorescent glow floods my apartment. No one could hide in here, not that I think anyone is. It doesn’t matter though, because I can still feel him, smell him, hear him. I strip off my clothes, shoving them into a trashcan in the kitchen, and run to the bathroom. I don’t even wait for it to heat up before I’m covered in soap, but it’s not enough. When the heat finally hits my skin, it’s scalding and still not hot enough simultaneously.
While I’m in the shower, there’s a loud knock on my front door. I stand still, unable to move. Maybe I can scream. Maybe the doctor next door is home and he’ll hear me. My mind races through every scenario where Ronnie or Noah have a key to my apartment. Every way they could come in and finish what they started. When I hear the door open, I’m sure it’s them. They’ll hear the shower. They’re going to find me. I crouch down, making myself as small as I can, sobbing silently.
“Lex?”
I cover my ears with my hands and let the water flow over them, trying to block out all the noise. I should grab my phone, but when I look over, it’s fallen on the floor on the other side of the room.
“Alexis?” there’s a soft knock on the bathroom door. “Lexi? Answer me, please. I can hear the shower.”
I don’t move. I can’t.
“Fuck this—” There’s a loud thud, and a grunt followed by a rush of cold air as the door whips open.
“No. Please, no!” I’m screaming and close my eyes tight against what’s coming. But it doesn’t come.
The hands aren’t rough, they’re gentle and small. The voice isn’t demanding, it’s comforting and familiar. The smell isn’t turning my stomach. It’s sweet and safe.
The cold air sweeps over me as the pelting, burning water stops. I’m staring at Dani’s confused brown eyes when she drapes the towel over me.
“Hey, I’ve been trying to reach you for like three hours.” Her words are barely making sense to me yet. “Guess you already know, though. Come on, Coop is there with him and I told him I’d bring you.”
“W-w-what?” I manage through clattering teeth and tears. “W-w-where?”
“Where? To the hospital. Wait, that’s not why you’re in the shower crying? Lex, where have you been? What happened to you?”
“My…stepfather…and…they…” I try to remember, but my mind won’t allow me to. It wants me to melt into the safe arms around me and sleep for days. I think harder, and it all comes flooding back. The table, the dish shattering, the hands.
No escape. No hope. No one was there to save me.
“Hun?”
“N-n-n-o! No, don’t touch me!”
“Shit, I’m calling the cops,” Dani reaches for her phone. She knows what he’s capable of.
“NO! You can’t. He knows too many of them. T-they didn’t believe me.” I couldn’t say anything more, so I cry again. Sobbing between the words. “They’ll say I lied. They’ll all tell them I’m a worthless whore.”
“Do you want me to call your sister or Sam? Anyone?”
My brain is too slow to catch that she hasn’t listed James as someone to contact. Too foggy to wonder why she wants me to go to the hospital. Does he know? Was he somehow a part of it? Is that why he wasn’t there?
“James…he was supposed to meet me there. He never showed up. He left me there, alone.” I sob while she rocks me. “He promised. He promised he’d protect me.”
“Shit, this is too much.” she sighs under her breath and cups my face, forcing me to look at her. She’s crying, too. Sadness and pity fill her eyes. “Lexi, James is in the hospital. There was some kind of fight when he went to help Steve pick up his car.”
My heart drops through the floorboards, shattering several floors below. Maybe this is all a nightmare. Maybe I’m still asleep on the train, in his arms and safe. I’m not though, I’m still trapped in hell and now I’ve endangered James.
