That happened all too frequently of late. When she was on deck, she found herself seeking him out. Every glimpse of him made her heart flutter as though she were some green girl who’d never even seen the inside of Almack’s. But Ashley would defy even the most hardened courtesan not to sigh at the sight of Nicholas Martingale standing on the ship’s bow, booted feet braced apart and hands on his hips. His dark buckskins molded to muscled thighs, and his white shirt flattened against his chest by the force of the wind. He’d worn coats and cravats for a few days after Johnson’s punishment, but now she more often saw him in shirtsleeves, working right alongside his men. His black hair whipped about his bronze face, and his smile was quick and his teeth white.
And when he caught sight of her, when those blue eyes rested on her even for a moment, she felt as though they were the only two people on the ship and nothing else mattered. It was pure fantasy, of course. She forced herself to remember the way he’d treated her. She found if she conjured up the scene in the library at the Rundale’s ball, her racing heart would race with anger instead of lust.
She fought to hold on to that anger.
Almost a fortnight into the voyage, the winds failed them. She’d been lying alone in the berth in the great cabin, attempting to sleep, when she noticed the stillness. She heard the distant clanging of bells and counted five. She thought that meant it half ten or half eleven. She couldn’t remember which. She just knew it was before midnight.
She rose, dressed in her shift with her feet bare, and walked to the windows facing the stern. There was nothing to see in the dark stillness. She considered lighting a lamp and finishing some of the more delicate stitching her gown sorely needed. She’d been attempting to repair the damage done to it the last few weeks, but in rough seas she could not hold her hand still enough to do the minute stitches around the more delicate lace. If she had been a more accomplished seamstress, she would not have faltered. Once again, her mother had been right to tell her to spend more time refining her talents as a lady.
Before she could retrieve the lamp, the door to the great cabin swung open. Ashley jumped but swallowed the small scream in her throat. Since the incident with Johnson, she’d been on edge. But she recognized the form in the door immediately. She’d studied it often enough. It was Nick.
“My apologies for startling you,” he said, his voice deep and reaching out to almost touch her in the darkness. He moved past her then and quickly pulled the heavy curtains over the windows.
“What are you doing?” she asked. Now that the ship was at a virtual standstill, the cabin felt rather warm and stuffy.
“No lights and no sound,” he said. His tone did not brook dissent.
“Why? What’s happened?”
“Not now,” he said and was halfway out the door before she called, “Nick!”
He paused, turned, and said, low, “Not a sound. I’ll be back shortly. No more bells tonight.”
Ashley’s heart beat hard in her chest, and she sat on the edge of the berth, hugging her knees. She could not decide if her body’s reaction was from trepidation or desire. She decided to blame it on trepidation. If she refused to acknowledge the desire, perhaps she could will it away. She was not cold. In fact, the cabin was increasingly warm, but the posture gave her some measure of security. The captain was obviously concerned. What was worrying him now? Why had they stopped moving? Had they arrived at Isla de las Riquezas?
Finally, after what seemed hours, she heard footfalls in the companionway again. She tensed as the door opened, and Nick once again stepped inside. As he closed the door, she heard the creak of the ship as it floated on the water. “The wind has died, and we’re at a standstill,” he said quietly.
“Then we haven’t arrived at Isla de las Riquezas?”
“No, but we’re within a day. That’s why this weather is unfortunate.” He ran a hand through his hair, and for the first time she realized he was tense. She had not seen him tense yet, not even when the royal navy had been bearing down on them. She couldn’t seem to stop herself from rising and going to him.
“What’s unfortunate about the weather?” Now that she was in front of him, she wished she had stayed where she’d been. It was impossible not to breathe in his scent when she was so close to him. He smelled of the salt air and also a bit like rum. He was a head taller than she, and she tilted her head back to look up at him. His face was shadowed, but she did not need to see it to know its features. She’d memorized them from all of those hours on deck, pretending to be watching the ocean when she was really watching him.
She imagined his mouth was in a thin, tight line, and his blue eyes set in grim determination. “We’re also only a few days from Gibraltar. Everyone seeking the Mediterranean goes through Gibraltar—merchants, pirates, and our old friends the British navy.”
“If we’re at a standstill, everyone else must be as well.”
The hand raked through his hair again. “Yes, but when this fog clears, we might not be pleased to see the ships that have drifted into our line of sight. Not to mention, I’d rather not be seen or followed heading to Isla de las Riquezas. I’d hoped to anchor there tomorrow.”
“The other ships—is that why you ordered dark and silence?”
“Yes, even in this fog, sound carries, and I don’t want another ship spotting one of our lights and deciding to investigate when the wind picks up.”
Ashley shook her head. “I will be glad to put my feet on solid land again.”
“You’re a sailor’s wife now. The sea is your home.”
“You cannot mean that. You didn’t want to marry me any more than I wanted to marry you.”
“What’s done is done.” The finality in his voice caused a lump to form in her throat.
“That doesn’t mean we have to accept it. There is always annulment or—”
“Do not say it. You’re my wife.”
Ashley did not have to make any effort to find her anger this time. “But I don’t want to be your wife, and I don’t want to be stuck on a ship for the rest of my life.”
He placed a finger on her lips. “Shh. Sound carries.”
