“What’s to become of him?” she asked. “You said tie him to the mast?”
“Yes. He’ll be lucky if I don’t throw him overboard. Unless I see a change in him, the next port we make, he’ll be escorted off the ship and left to find his own way home.”
“But...what if you are wrong about me? What if he was telling the truth?”
“Was he?”
She looked away, and he moved to stand before her. “What’s this about?”
“I don’t want to be the cause of a man’s suffering. The topmast is so high. He’ll be battered by the wind and the sun.”
Nick nodded. “Mastheading is not pleasant, but it’s the law of the sea.” He would have preferred to give the man twenty lashes, but that would probably elicit a mutiny.
She looked at him then, her eyes filled with pleading. “But you don’t have to enforce that law. You are the captain.”
“And if I don’t enforce the law, then what happens the next time one of the men doesn’t feel like obeying orders? What if we’re in the middle of battle and one of my sharpshooters doesn’t want to risk death to defend the ship?”
She shook her head, and he bent close to her. “Do you know why men risk their lives for me?”
“You pay them?”
He laughed. “Because I inspire fear and respect, and it’s not always clear where fear stops and respect begins. I’m not mast-heading that man for you. I’m punishing him because he didn’t respect me.” He straightened again. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a ship to captain.” She moved away from the door, and as she did so, she murmured.
“You don’t own me.”
He grinned. “I was waiting for my set down.”
“Between you and me, I’m not your property. I don’t care what the law says. But I understand why you said what you did. Thank you.”
Nick stared at her for a long moment, expecting her to say more, expecting her to somehow negate the last statement. Ashley had thanked him? She’d agreed with one of his decisions—well, not so much agreed as accepted it. There was hope for them yet.
“You can go now,” she ordered.
He sighed. And he might still spot that mermaid.
WHEN HE WAS GONE, ASHLEY leaned back against the door and closed her eyes. What a little fool she’d been! She’d allowed her anger at Nick to cloud her judgment. She needed him. This wasn’t London, where she had the Brittany name and her five brothers’ brute strength behind her. This wasn’t Bond Street with a footman tailing her. This was a pirate ship. She was vulnerable, and the only thing protecting her from horrors she did not want to consider was Nick.
She hadn’t considered the way the men on the ship looked at her. Men always looked at her, but those men were kept at a distance by servants or by the code of the gentleman. These men were not gentleman, as Johnson had so adroitly proven. She wasn’t safe, and her missteps meant a man was suffering.
Johnson had done little more than scare her and leave a bruise on her arm. She had five brothers and knew quite well how to defend herself, but if the other sailors hadn’t come to her aid, her defense would not have won the day. A few well-placed kicks and jabs were no match for a man who outweighed her by four or five stone and had twice as much strength as she. What if Nick had not believed her? What if he had not claimed her?
She shivered just thinking about what Nick had said. The woman is mine. It was the second time he had made such a statement. When he’d said it as they rode away from Gretna Green, she took it to mean she was his responsibility. But now, away from all civilization, she felt it meant something very different.
She should have been offended and appalled at such sentiments. Instead, heat had rushed to her belly and her body had throbbed. She had not realized what a powerful man he was. He held the power of life and death on this ship. Every man here served him. She’d never thought of him in that light before. In London, it was his brother who held the title, and Nick who held all the charm. But here, on the open sea, Nick had more power than any man she’d ever known.
She had never been one of those ninnies who ran after every marquess and swooned when a duke was present. Regardless of title, a man was a man—but if that was true, why were her cheeks warm when she thought of Nick? Why did her knowledge of his new power make him suddenly more attractive?
She pushed away from the door and moved to stare out of the windows. Behind them lay open ocean and before them more of the same. She’d never felt more trapped than she did at this moment, and she wasn’t certain whether it was Nick or her own feelings that put her in the most danger.
By afternoon, she couldn’t stand another moment in the cabin. However, when she was finally allowed on deck to take the air, she kept her eyes down and refused to meet the gazes of any of the men. She didn’t look up at the topmast either. She didn’t want to see Mr. Johnson staring down at her with hatred or hear his call of “argh.” She feared the pirates all hated her now and saw their comrade’s punishment as her fault.
She did find Nick’s gaze. He nodded at her and went back to his spyglass. Like a silly goose, she felt a sudden warmth course through her at the knowledge she could still capture his attention.
At some point in the night, she turned in her bed and realized she was not alone. Nick was beside her. He lay on his side, careful not to touch her, but in the moonlit darkness, she could make out his form and his features. She wanted to curl up next to him and bury her face in his chest. She wanted him to hold her and tell her all would be well.
But there was so much from the past between them. Instead, they kept apart, not touching, even in sleep. When she awoke in the morning, he was gone.
The following week was much the same. Mr. Fellowes had assisted her in her search for employment, and gradually a growing pile of socks and shirts needing mending appeared. She’d never been passionate about needlework, but it kept her occupied lest she be tempted to conjure images of the captain.
