Telling Olivia that I’m in love with her? Yeah, I’m not sure how that’s going to go either.
But I have a feeling I’m going to find out sooner rather than later.
17
OLIVIA
“She’s doing it again.”
“Doing what?”
“Looking at pictures of Ash on her phone,” Loren says with a laugh. “Can’t you do that later? Like when you’re alone in your room?”
I’m not bothered by the teasing. “Weren’t you just hiding in the bathroom while you talked to Mike so we couldn’t hear you?”
If there were a mic in my hand, I would have dropped it.
“Okay, fine. I was just teasing. We all think it’s sweet how you’re pining for Ash.”
“I wouldn’t say that I’m pining…”
Liar.
I’m totally pining.
He’s been gone for a week and a half, and it feels like an eternity. The nightly calls are fine, but it’s crazy how much I miss him, which is why I obviously blurt out:
“Gah! How is it possible that I miss him this much already? It’s only been a month! Not even! Am I some kind of weirdo? Is this all happening too fast?”
Three pairs of sympathetic smiles face me.
“What? Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Oh, sweetie,” Vanessa begins, and yes, she’s reaching out for my hand as she says it. “There is no right or wrong when you find your person. There’s no handbook on feelings. I mean…maybe there is, but let’s be honest, it’s not a one-size-fits-all approach.”
“Okay, but…”
“Look at me and Zayne,” she goes on. “We’ve known each other since elementary school and didn’t fall for each other until a few months ago.”
“Mike and I have known each other since the seventh grade,” Loren adds. “I mean, I knew who he was before that, but we didn’t actually interact with each other until then.” She shrugs. “He asked me to the winter dance in eighth grade and we’ve been together ever since. When the feelings are there, they’re there.”
“And as much as I hate to bring up my horrible ex, Theo and I dated for three years before we got married. I’ve never been an overly romantic person, but he swept me off my feet. And if he hadn’t developed a drug habit, maybe we’d still be together.”
That’s the first normal thing Roxie’s ever said about her relationship with her ex-husband.
“You see?” Van asks. “Three different relationship timelines with three different outcomes. Sometimes it doesn’t matter how long you know someone…”
“Or how short,” Roxie amends before laughing. “Is that even the right way to say that?”
“You know yourself,” Vanessa goes on. “You know how you’ve felt in past relationships. And we’re not talking about the one you had with Matt. The two of you were too young and immature to count that one. Think about the relationships you’ve had after that.”
“I can count them all on one hand and none of them made me feel like this,” I admit.
Vanessa reaches out again for me. “Then there’s your answer, Livi. Don’t doubt yourself or your feelings.”
Easier said than done.
“I need to…” Pausing, I sigh. There’s been something on my mind that I feel like maybe I’m overreacting or maybe my author brain is creating weird scenarios, because that’s what it does sometimes. And since we’re all sitting here talking, now seems as good a time as any to ask the girls. “So, we’ve been talking about this new book, and nothing’s gelling, and I’m feeling unsettled. I miss Ash, and…I don’t know…I feel like it’s all connected.”
