“Ah. Gotcha.” Loren turns and faces me. “First, breathe. Second, come on. There’s no reason for there to be an ick. You already know that Ash is the one for you. You need to just look at this as another confirmation. There’s nothing bad about that.”
Technically, she’s right. I just…ugh. I just want a relationship with him that doesn’t involve Matt in any way, shape, or form. Is that too much to ask?
Which is what I say to the girls.
“In a perfect world, that would be the case,” Vanessa gently tells me. “However, we don’t live in a perfect world. But you also need to remember that Matt isn’t here anymore. He’s nothing but a blip on the radar of this relationship. What you and Ash have has nothing to do with him. Not really. Don’t let this ruin anything.”
“Yeah,” Roxie agrees. “Stop being so dramatic and looking for an out.” Her eyes go wide as she gasps. “Wait…is that what you’re doing? Are you looking for an out? Are you having regrets? Are things moving too fast for you?”
“What?” I finally squeak out. “No! No, I’m not looking for an out!” I’m shaking my head so hard I practically have whiplash. “I know this is going to sound stupid, but…I just don’t want any…you know…ghosts in our relationship, either.”
“That’s fair,” Vanessa says as she helps herself to some bread. “Just think about this, Liv—Zayne and I have known each other since…you know…elementary or middle school. Since we’ve gotten together as a couple, I cannot even tell you how many people have tried to take credit for our relationship! My dad swears he deserves the credit because he hired Zayne’s father’s law firm for something, and it had us seeing each other outside our friend group. Then Mrs. Lupino…”
“Wait, wasn’t she our tenth grade Spanish teacher?” I ask.
“Yup! She lives in my apartment complex. Anyway, when she saw me and Zayne together, she tried to take credit for our relationship because she sat us together in class.”
“And you’re telling me this…why?”
“Because there are going to be people who are going to do the same to you and Ash,” she says simply.
“I know I am,” Roxie says with an impish grin. “If me and my dogs didn’t snore so loud, you wouldn’t have gone downstairs that night. So really…you’re welcome.”
“See?” Vanessa laughs. “So let Mrs. Serrano or Matt’s ghost think whatever they want! Other people will too! There’s no ick. There’s no reason to freak out. And really, if you’re secure in this relationship with Ash, you should really stop freaking out at every little thing.”
“I know you’re right. This is all so new to me. And as we’ve all discussed ad nauseam, I’m afraid of messing things up.”
“And you will if you don’t stop freaking out,” Loren states. “So stop it.”
“Oh, okay. Sure. I’ll just stop it.” But…yeah. I do need to just stop it.
Am I ever going to love thinking about Matt wanting to set me and Ash up? No. But it’s a moot point. It never happened and it never will, so…what am I freaking out for?
Reaching for a piece of bread, I sigh happily.
But everyone’s still staring at me like I’m a ticking time bomb or something.
“I’m fine, guys. I promise. You’re all right and I’m not going to focus on situations that simply aren’t important or no longer exist.” I grab the butter. “Now, what are we ordering next?”
Now the perfect ending to my vacation can finally begin.
I’m a little teary-eyed as I go through security at the airport in Raleigh. I feel like I’m leaving a piece of my heart behind and even though I know I’ll be back soon, leaving is much harder than I thought it would be.
The girls all stayed at Vanessa’s last night as we had one last slumber party. I texted Ash and promised I’d call him today, but that I needed the time with the girls last night. Of course he understood, and it was nice to not have to step away or interrupt the fun.
Unlike Loren, who completely stepped away more than once to call Mike.
And even though no one else probably noticed, I think the few times Roxie made excuses to call and check on her dogs, she was really calling her secret guy back at the beach.
She still hasn’t mentioned him to the girls and I’m not going to be the one to out them. When she’s ready, she’ll talk about it. For now, I’m happy to keep her secret.
I’m tired, and I know I’m going to sleep on the flight. I’m just counting down the minutes until we board.
My phone vibrates in my hand, and I look down and see a text from Ash.
Ash: I see that your flight’s on time. Are you boarding yet?
Liv: Not yet. Just sitting here waiting.
