“You’ve never answered my question.” Ben gazes at me. “About letting me in.”
“I know.” I hesitate. “I…I can’t answer yet.”
“You don’t need to.”
“Soon. I promise.”
I probably shouldn’t, but I pull him tight to me. Our mouths meet in the bracing winter cold. His arms are mine, and mine his. In a kiss, we drown. And God, I’ve missed him, missed everything Ben has to offer.
Out here, time stills, and the world is ours.
Chapter Forty-Nine
We climb the steps to the stone cottage. Wet wind slices the afternoon, our hair plastered against our foreheads as the rain lashes us.
“I miss snow,” gasps Ben as we tumble into the small entry of the cottage, the wind at our heels.
“Hell, yeah,” I say, uncoiling my rain-damp scarf. “God.”
Emily comes up the hall, holding Carys. Carys is torn between fascination and angst at spotting Ben, a stranger in our midst. Further proof that she’s my daughter.
I gulp. Here’s the whole jumping off of a cliff bit, the collision of worlds. Something I imagined in recent sleepless nights.
Emily joins us, bouncing Carys slightly in her arm.
“Hello,” she says with a smile for Ben. It’s like I’m seeing her for the first time too, long sandy hair in a wavy plait over her shoulder, an oversize sweatshirt that falls off her shoulder, gray leggings. Carys has big green eyes, her dark hair newly released from her ponytail so it floats like a cloud around her head. She peers shyly up at Ben.
And Ben’s transfixed by Carys too. He smiles at her. To my relief, she gives a tentative smile back.
“Right, introductions,” I say gamely, springing belatedly into action. No time to panic, not me. Sadly, there’s no tables handy here to flip as a distraction, just a small shelf firmly secured to the wall in the entry for keys and a dresser for gloves and accessories.
“Emily, this is Ben Campbell. My, er, friend.” I gulp. Not exactly smooth. But it doesn’t have to be smooth. We just need introductions. A beginning, more than anything else. “The man I’ve been seeing.”
It’s hard to know what to call him at this point. Boyfriend? The man I’ve been dating? A friend? Especially when we don’t know what’s ahead.
Her grin widens. She’s clearly taking stock of him. Of me, too. We’re all crowded together in the small cottage entry, coats on hooks on one side of us, a painting of the sea by Emily’s gran on the wall opposite, and a rack of shoes on the side.
“Ben, this is Emily. And this is our daughter, Carys.” I smile encouragingly at Carys.
She smiles back again at us before promptly hiding her face in Emily’s shoulder.
Emily smiles and smooths her hair. “She’s a bit shy with strangers,” she explains. “Charlie’s spoken highly of you. Great to meet you. Welcome.”
“Cheers. Very happy to meet you,” Ben says earnestly.
As usual, my face is on fire.
Breathe. Just breathe.
If I can remember to breathe, everything will be all right.
“May I offer you some tea?” Emily looks from Ben to me. “Not sure what your plans are?”
“Oh, I don’t want to impose or anything.” Ben, it has to be said, looks highly appealing with his blue eyes and lean jeans. The most sensible thing to do would be to lick the rain right off him, but Emily would probably not be into watching the precursor to a public mating ritual.
“Let me put Carys down for a nap. Charlie, you can figure out if you want to put the kettle on,” Emily says smoothly. “No worries if you want to head out to the pub or something for a drink instead.”
We look at each other, and for a moment, we share the same thought.
