“I can’t stand that we keep doing this. That we’re telling lies at work anddifferentlies to my parents.” And it was his stupid fucking idea! That was the worst part. He’d brought this all on his own head—on his own heart.
Now that he’d started talking, he couldn’t seem to stop. “Lying so much I can’t even guess what’s real. What you actually want. The fans love you. My parents love you. And I can’t stand that we’ve lied so muchIdon’t get to—”
He cut himself off as realization dawned. He could feel it on his face, feel the blood draining further before rushing back in. Jesus, he was stupid. What was he thinking? Just his idiot luck to realize now, when Aubrey was in the middle of breaking up with him—
But now Aubrey was the one who looked like he’d taken a bad hit. “Finish it,” he said.
Damn it. He was the one who said he was tired of lying. Nate’s hands were shaking at his sides when he said, “I can’t stand that everyone else gets to say they love you. And I don’t.”
For a moment Aubrey just stared at him, his expression unreadable. He blinked, then looked Nate dead in the eye. “So then say it.”
Nate’s heart rate kicked up another notch. The conversation had gotten away from him. He hadn’t intended—
But maybe it didn’t matter what he intended. The show was on the bubble anyway. Who cared if they fucked up their chemistry or if Jess got mad?
“I love you,” he said, feeling stupid. “And I can’t believe you goaded me into saying it. Actually wait, yes I can.”
Nate hadn’t considered how Aubrey would respond, since he’d never planned on saying it, but he wouldn’t have guessed that Aubrey would just stand there, speechless. The declaration was apparently the one thing that would make him shut up, which was just Nate’s luck on so many levels.
Then Aubrey’s lips curled up in that familiar smirk. Nate wanted to punch him. Or run. Maybe run was best.
“Then I win,” Aubrey said. His eyes were bright.
What thefuck.Nate sputtered. “Youwin?” Was this all some kind of sick game? “What the fuck is it you win?”
“Everything.” Aubrey took three quick steps forward. Then his hands were on Nate’s face so he could haul Nate toward him. “Everything.” And then he kissed him.
What, Nate’s brain said, and,Wait, I thought he said we had to stop?But Nate’s brain wasn’t in charge. He’d told Aubrey he loved him, and now Aubrey was kissing him; that was all that mattered. He lost himself in the bitter coffee of Aubrey’s mouth, the softness of his lower lip, the fervent slide of Aubrey’s tongue over his own. Everything else could wait.
After a moment Aubrey pulled back, his lips barely whispering against Nate’s as he asked, “Am I supposed to say it back? I think I’m supposed to say it back.”
Of course Aubrey didn’t understand that the nonasshole responses were 1) reciprocate immediately, or 2) put Nate out of his misery, also ASAP. Nate closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against Aubrey’s, then pulled back. “You complete fucking asshole.Yesyou’re supp—”
“I love you.” His voice didn’t quite break, but it had a definite wobble, kind of like Nate’s knees. Fortunately Aubrey still held him firmly by the back of his neck. “I have been in love with you for so fucking long, Nate.”
How?Nate wanted to ask. How could it have been so long when they hadn’t even known each other two months? But he didn’t have to ask. He felt the same way. “Okay,” he said, aware he was smiling stupidly but not able to do anything about it. “Okay, so does that mean we are, uh. I mean, you came here to say we couldn’t do this anymore….”
“Oh, we’re not doingthisanymore,” Aubrey said, indicating Nate’s apartment with a twirl of his finger. Nate guessed that was supposed to stand in for their modus operandi of the past few weeks. “From now on, we’re going to do thisright.” He paused, his expression one of open cluelessness. “Whateverthatmeans.”
Nate laughed and kissed him again. They could figure it out together.
AUBREY WAITEDin the lobby.
He’d said last night they were doing thisright, and that had meant going back to his own apartment when he really wanted to stay. It was late and their emotions were all over the place, and he felt like he needed an actual reset to start over. But that meant he wasn’t there when Nate woke up. He thought about calling or texting, but he needed to be able to see Nate’s face. Knocking on the door of his apartment seemed invasive—and repetitive. Work would be worse. The gym felt plain creepy. If Aubrey waited for Nate there, he’d inevitably ogle. Nate’s gym shorts did wonderful things for his thighs and ass.
So he waited in the lobby. It had a seating area, and Nate had a strict caffeine-and-pastry schedule.
He’d just lost his seventh consecutive game of 2048 when Nate walked past on his way to the door.
Aubrey started to get up to follow him—which he should have realized was also creepy—but before he could, Nate stopped and turned around, smiling. “Aubrey. Hey. What are you doing?”
Making an ass of myself, apparently.He stood too and picked up his coat and scarf from the sofa beside him. “Waiting for you, actually.”
Aubrey was sure he couldn’t have been more obvious if he’d simply tattooedI am in love with youon his forehead, but Nate had been out of the game for a while. Maybe that was the reason he looked startled.
“Oh,” Nate said. God, he was practically beaming. Aubrey hadn’t yet done anything to deserve that, but he was determined to earn it now.
“Mind if I tag along for coffee?”
