“I had. But I came back. And later, when I was helping with your awesome decorating, I couldn’t help noticing your amazing arse going up and down that ladder. One of the reasons I got you to go for a hike yesterday morning was so I could ogle your magnificent backside again.”
By now, Trevor was laughing uncontrollably.
“Hang on. You insisted on me going up the hill first because you said it was safer.”
“Aye, well, that’s not strictly true,” said Rudy, kissing Trevor on the side of his head. “I can be very single-minded and resourceful when I want something.”
When Rudy went to do the same thing again, Trevor turned and met his kiss, which turned into a lingering one until Trevor gasped and pushed away.
“Hang on a minute,” he said. “I wanted to ask you something.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” said Rudy, rubbing his nose into the side of Trevor’s neck.
“You side-tracked me.”
“I’m good at that—”
“No, I remember,” said Trevor. “You mentioned you had an ex-girlfriend back in York.”
“A what?” said Rudy, his chest rising and falling with laughter.
“No, seriously,” said Trevor, even though Rudy was chuckling at the ceiling. “I’m pretty good with detail. You said you had an ex-girlfriend called Deb or Debbie back in York.”
Suddenly Rudy quietened, the amusement draining from his face.
“Oh. I’d forgotten that slipped out. You remember?”
“Yup.”
Somewhat sheepishly, Rudy shuffled onto his side to face Trevor and check his expression.
“So you’re bi?” asked Trevor.
“Not even close. If you cut my leg off it would say ‘gay’ all the way down to the bone. That’s one of the reasons I left the roost early and moved down to England.”
“Parents didn’t approve?”
“I didn’t give them a chance either way. Went to study at York Uni. Guess I was too scared to tell them.”
“Do they know now?”
“They do, and the funny thing is, they’re fine. So is my brother.”
“So who’s this Deb?”
“Debbie. Oh God,” said Rudy, rubbing his eyes with the palms of his hands. “I suppose you deserve to know. Debbie is code for my ex-boyfriend, a man buried so deep in the closet even his closest friends smelled of mothballs. Who, whenever he referred to me in company, even when I was in the room, used feminine pronouns—she, her, hers. To dupe people into believing he was dating a woman. And do you want to know the most fucked-up thing in all of this?”
“Go on?”
“I let him. I played along. But I could never do the same when I talked about him. It would have felt like lying.”
“But you called him Debbie?”
“Everyone did. It was a nickname. Started by his mates long before I knew him.”
“So what happened?”
“Trev,” said Rudy, expelling the name through a breathy sigh, “do we have to spoil the moment? Walking away was really hard and put me in a dark place for a long time, something I never want to go through again. Just know that it’s been over for more than six months.”
