Full-body shiver.
We go through the check-in, paying, putting on our protective goggles andBreaking Bad–looking jumpsuits, and then before we know it, we’re heading to our selected smash room. Addison is basically buzzing with excitement.
“Any particular reason you needed to break shit today?” I ask Addy. I keep my tone light but there is an energy about her today that tells me it’s a little more than just her usual run-of-the-mill anger. She’s triggered.
She rolls her shoulders, her head moving side to side like someone preparing for a fight. “You don’t have to tell me if you don?—”
“It’s Noah.” When I screech to a halt in front of our smash room door, I see her eyes blaze, her hands tightening into fists.
“What about Noah?” I ask lightly, but so help me God, if he broke her heart I’m going to break?—
“He’s being weird? I don’t know. Just jumpy and sketchy. Like he’s hiding something. I think it’s just my anxiety getting the best of me. My therapist said I should just talk to him, but every time I try, he’s just this little ball of cute sunshine that says he loves me and shit. I don’t know.” She throws her head back, her chest rising and falling, and I watch her try to take a controlled breath.Trybeing the operative word.
“Isn’t cute, sunshine, and love what the goal is here?” I chuckle at her, unsure how any of that is different from how Noah has ever acted. He’s been smitten from day one, any idiot could see that.
“Yeah…I guess. I don’t know. I just want him to be straight with me. I know he’s hiding something. I don’t think he’d ever hurt me, I’m sure it’s not bad, I just hate not knowing and I just want to beat his cute little face into telling me all his secrets.” She balls her fist as if to punctuate her frustration.
I hum acknowledgment. “Yeah. I know a thing or two about wanting to smack the shit out of a hot idiot,” I mumble, looking longingly into our beautiful smash room. “How about we break some plates instead?” I open the door and Addy sighs through a chuckle.
“Yes. Let’s.”
I don’t think I’ve had as much fun while also having a cathartic outlet as I’ve had in the smash room with Addison. Girl is small and highly emotional, butdamnshe has rage. I hooked up my rap hype playlist to the speakers and the two of us have been bashing objects with bats and throwing shit at walls to the blasting beats of Cardi, Kaliii, Queen B, andTheStallion. A few dance breaks here and there, the two of us laughing and singing along to the lyrics in between destroying. I got distracted with dancing to Kaliii’s “Area Codes,”that song is my anthem, but watching Addy trying to twerk her skinny ass was possibly the highlight of my day. My stomach hurts in the best way from laughing so hard, and eventually I need to rehydrate, so I turn the music down and go for some water.
“This is exactly what I needed.” I breathe through a gulp of water as Addy throws the bat down again.
“Good, huh!” she says when she comes over to me. I notice then that her eyes are a little red, a few wet marks under her eyes.
“Hey, are you okay?” A little pain pinches my chest seeing her because I had no idea she was crying. She just rolls her eyes and lets out a watery chuckle, using the back of her wrist to wipe her face.
“I’m fine. It’s just the rage leaving my body.”
“And that’s all it is?” I push her a little, giving her a look to let her know I’m literally the last person to judge her. Like ever.
“Just hard right now. Noah’s barely in the city anymore and I know it’s temporary because of the new office location. And I’m so proud of him, really, I am. I just…miss him. And the assignments are killing me at the moment, I really hate being a student and I’m so ready to be done with it. Mom keeps putting pressure on being one big happy family again. It’s just…heavy. Everything is heavy and I just wish I could turn it all off.” She heaves a heavy breath, but she does seem a little lighter than before. The gleam in her eyes is more settled than it usually is, and I can tell that this Addison, while still facing her normal struggles, is a hell of a lot stronger than Addy from two years ago. Maybe that tall Greek idiot has been good for her.
“Is there anything I can do? Other than help you keep breaking shit?” I chuckle when she smiles and shakes her head.
“Actually,”
“Anything, say it and it shall be yours.” I exaggerate a bow to her like an eighteenth-century prince ready to kiss her feet and grant her wishes. She chuckles again before answering.
“You can tell me what the comment about bashing hot idiots was about?” She gives me a playful look and my smile drops to give her a bored one.
“There is nothing interesting or deep about my sex life, Addy. Trust me.” I turn and swing a bat to break a stack of plates, perhaps with a little more rage than I planned.
“Mm-hmm.” I hear Addy’s unconvinced hum behind me. With the bat heaved onto my shoulder, I twist around to give her a bland look.
“What?” I ask, trying to look extra unbothered.
“Always cool, calm, and collected Rosie, who doesn’t let anything get under her skin, is doing a great job of breaking things today.” She purses her lips, her bright green eyes narrowed in knowing.
I analyze her face, just for a bit longer. Trying to work out how much I can tell her and how much I should keep to myself. And then I remember the things Caleb said to me in the elevator. That he’s tired of being a secret. That he wants to be exclusive. Goddamn it. I already broke my no-repeat rule for him, now we were sharing a hotel room, which almost breaks the no-sleepover rule, and now he wants me to break my nonexclusive rule? It’s absurd.
I really need girl talk, I realize.
“So there’s this guy?—”
“I knew it!” She drops her bat as she hops toward me in excitement. I smother my chuckle and drop the bat too. Addy uses my hand to pull me down to the ground, and we sit with our backs against the wall. “Tell meeverything!You have no idea how excited I am that you…like,theRosie Garcia has boy trouble.” She laughs manically, and I purse my lips at her, enjoying her joy, just wishing it wasn’t at my frustration. “Casey is going to shit her pants when she finds out.” She smacks my leg. “So go on, spill the beans.”
