Page 78 of Beyond Repair: Part Two
Chapter 49
Ridge
It's been a week since Nina showed us the pictures of our new home. Standing in it now after our tour, I have to admit it's absolutely perfect for the five of us.
There was something in Henry's eyes when he walked through the room beside the master suite that made my heart clench. He saw a future, one that we don't really have an answer to right now, but damn, I could really see it too.
It might sound sappy, but I swear I canfeelour future children running through these halls, terrorizing us and laughing as they do. Over the years, I wondered what having kids with Nina would be like and it always made me so fucking sad.
All of those horrible, gut aching moments when I thought I could never have a life with Neen feel like a horrible dream as we drive away from our new home. In hopefully two weeks, we will be all set to move in.
Nina's wiggly and immediately pulls up the listing again on her phone. Not two minutes after leaving the house, she's scrolling through pictures.
I laugh, then snatch her phone from her dainty little fingers. "No more obsessing. You'll live there soon enough."
"Hey." She pouts and tries to take her cellphone back. I raise a brow, making her huff before she snuggles up into my side for the remainder of the fifteen minutes back to her parents’ house. "Fiiine."
I kiss the top of her head and let the low murmuring of Kai and Trevor in the front seat relax me. There's been a high level of worry about Nina not processing all the shit she's been through, but now it feels heavier. She put a timeline on it last week and ever since, I've been feeling the weight of it.
Understanding why she wants to get settled into her new home, her new fuckinglife, is not the issue. What I'm struggling with is waiting for it to happen. No part of me ever wants to see my woman hurting, but I feel like we're at the point where ignoring all the horrific trauma is unhealthy.
Inhaling, I breathe in her rose scent. It's unfair for us to pressure her into facing her past, but fucking hell. I'm so on edge. She's not even seeing her therapist until we move in either. My jaw clenches and I feel my muscles fighting to stay relaxed. There's so much pent up energy that I'm having a hard time not freaking out.
Kai and Henry are seeing their therapists once a week for four weeks until they move to twice a month again. Trevor's been talking a lot with Will which seems to be grounding enough for him right now. I haven't reached out to my counselor yet, because I feel like once I do that's going to open the door for even more pain.We don't even have a house right now. How am I supposed to—so maybe Nina has a point...
A soft snore from Neen makes me smile and hug her tighter. Just that simple reminder of what a precious woman I have releases some of that tension in me. Maybe I should put somework into the stuff thatI knowwill help me move past all the awful shit we've been dealt.
Kicking my leg out, I nudge Henry's calf. When he glances over at me, his expression softens from his frown when he sees Nina napping on me.
"Run with me when we get back?" I ask quietly. Allowing him to see the obvious desperation in my eyes is easy. This man is family, and I'll let him see the worst parts of me every damn day. And right now, I'm fucking struggling, so I need some company while I work out some of my shit.
Henry studies me for a beat, then nods. "Sure, man."
My breath of relief is silent, but still there. It's an amazing thing to have the support I do and a family like mine.
No matter if kids are in our future or not, I feel pretty damn complete with my three best friends and the love of my life in my arms every day.
Rustling from the basement guest bedroom disrupts my sleep, and the quiet snick of the door closing wakes me fully.
"Shoot," Nina whispers and I frown.Why is she awake again?
Glancing over Trevor's sleeping form, I see the clock says it's not even three in the morning. As quietly as I can, I untuck myself from the couch sheets and stand to follow my girl.
Tripping slightly, Nina enters the bathroom and shuts me out before even turning the damn lights on.So she really doesn't want to wake us up.
It isn't long before I hear the toilet flush and the sink start running. But what does confuse me is the sound of nothing once the faucet turns off. Worry builds for the one minute I'm left wondering what she's doing. Forcing myself to count to thirty again is much harder than it should be, but I accomplish another half a minute.
Once I hit thirty, I reach for the handle knowing she didn't lock it. Thankfully, the knob doesn't creak, so as I crack the door open, I find Nina just as she was a few seconds ago. My heart breaks.
Tears drip from her jawline, but only a few, as if she's trying to control herself. With her hands placed on the countertop, she holds herself up with sheer will. Nina's trembling and fighting her demons all alone in the middle of the night and all I want to do is wrap her in my arms so that's exactly what I'm going to fucking do.
I step forward only to be shocked still when Nina's voice cracks through the space between us in a plea that makes me breakforher. "Please don't."
