He eyed her seriously. “There are certain autoimmune or hormone conditions that can contribute to infertility issues, including chromosomal incompatibilities.”
She blinked. “Are you saying that Dan and I might be incompatible?” The idea was laughable. He was her perfect match. He often said she was his. God wouldn’t have brought them together in this way if that wasn’t true. Would He?
“I’m not saying that, no. But there are some couples whose genetic screening means they are more likely to, ah,” he cleared his throat, “have a child with significant health issues, if indeed they are even able to be carried to full term.”
Breath was suddenly hard to find. “Are you saying that even if I was to carry a baby to full term that it might have birth defects?”
“We don’t like to use that kind of terminology,” he said. “And that is why we advise for the screening.”
“I don’t understand how this can happen.”
His mouth tweaked in a non-smile. “I wish your husband could’ve been here so we could discuss that.”
Oh, she wished that too. “He had a game. But I’m sorry, I don’t understand. Why would we need to have screening for birth defects?”
He clasped his hands together on the desk. “We like potential parents to be aware of all their options.”
Options? Like what—terminating a pregnancy? The fear hovering around her swooped low, clawing her as she tried to grapple with what the obstetrician was saying.
“So, Sarah, can we do this now?”
“Sorry, do what?”
“Your blood test,” he replied patiently.
“Oh. Uh, sure.”
“Good. We can do yours now, and we’ll schedule Dan’s when he’s able.”
A few minutes later he was pressing a sticky band-aid on her upper arm. “In addition, I’d like to conduct a hysterosalpingogram, where we test your uterus and fallopian tubes with an X-ray dye.”
“When?”
“When you’ve stopped bleeding. So if you like we can schedule that for two months’ time.”
She didn’t like, but if it helped… “Okay.”
She exited his office, made the new appointments, paid, then moved to her SUV. The vehicle with its extra safety measures made her feel a bit like she was encased in a bubble in Toronto’s city traffic, like nothing could touch her. Which was just what she’d needed after the car accident back home had made her fear driving again.
Home. How funny she still thought of Sydney as home, despite having lived here for nearly three years.
Twenty minutes later she drove into their apartment’s parking garage, praying she wouldn’t come across any babies. Muskoka had been a great escape from that, but here there were too many triggers for envy, fear, and tears.
Fortunately, God was kind to her, and she rode up to the sixteenth floor without encountering anyone. Which was good. She needed to get her mind focused on the things that she had to do today. Like cancel her music commitments at church. And contact the Heartsong crew and tell them she’d be available to tour later this summer after all. Not that she’d spoken to Dan about that yet. They’d talked about visiting her family in Australia, but the latest pregnancy had put paid to that. But now it was an option, especially with the tour.
Dan always preferred Muskoka, and had a camp for city underprivileged kids this June as he always did. But so much needed to be talked about. Like what his future retirement plans might be. It was one thing to have vague discussions about things; quite another to imagine what their lives could look like if he was home all the time, instead of chuffing off to play games for half the year. Especially if there was no baby, like they both had dared to hope for their world to revolve around.
The door opened, and she exited, then stilled. Jackie Cash stood outside her apartment door, her sweet little bundle poised on her shoulder.
No.She didn’t want to say hello. She didn’t want to pretend she was okay. She could hop back in the elevator, or maybe try for stealth moves across the hallway to access her apartment, but Jackie might see. Darn, Jackiehadseen, judging from the relief on her face.
“Hi, Sarah.”
“G’day.” The Australianism still slipped out occasionally. There was nothing for it, but she’d have to suck it up and pretend seeing her neighbor didn’t hurt.
“Hey, I’m sorry to ask, but would you mind holding Charlie for a moment?”
Yes.Yes, she minded. But saying so would only make her look petty. Quick, could she fake a cold? She coughed. “I’m not sure you really want me to. I’ve just been at the doctor’s.” That was true enough.
