A scream ripped through the air, and my eyes shot open in time to see Fyn crash to the ground some distance away. He grunted, trying to move.
“Sunshine!” I tried to run to his side, but I remained frozen to the Crystal. I yanked, but it was like my fingers were glued to the smooth surface. A burning began and grew stronger and stronger.
“Ah,” I yelped, tugging on my arm. “I’m stuck.”
“Caleb,” Fyn called.
If you will not tread the path we have set you upon, we shall force you to the conclusion.
I was on fire. Every nerve ending that I’d lost when I died screamed in agony. I thought I knew pain from the weak throbs of my soul, but this was nothing compared to that. A shriek tore out of my throat. I tried to escape but the Crystal would not let me go. Light flooded my soul as I expanded outward.
“Caleb,” Fyn shouted, crawling toward me.
Agony of the like I’d never thought possible consumed me before blessed oblivion took its place.
Zoltilvoxfyn
Caleb’s agonized cry rang in my ears as light blinded me. “Caleb!” I dragged myself over the mossy ground. I needed to be near him. “Please,” I begged the Crystal. “Don’t take him.”
His pain-filled eyes met mine before the light swelled and his scream vanished, along with my Caleb.
My soul froze. “Caleb!” He was gone. He was gone, and it was my fault.
“No!” I fisted my hair and called his name over and over again. I tried to claw over to where Caleb had once stood, but Monqilcolnen’s arms surrounded me, holding me back.
My very cells fought against what I’d seen. Caleb couldn’t be gone. No. No. No. He had to be there. He had to be. No. No. Please. Please, no.
“Caleb, please,” I cried, but no matter how much I called, he did not answer.
Chapter 38
What comes after.
Caleb was gone. There was nothing else to say. I lay in our bed watching the images and videos of him go by on my screen while his message played over and over again on a loop. I’d failed him. Plain and simple. It was my responsibility as a medium to help him move on, and yet I’d kept him here with me because I loved him. I’d failed to protect him as his mate by forcing him to touch the Crystal because I’d been afraid to lose him.
My perfect Caleb had deserved more.
Kalvoxrencol ran a comb through my long hair. I didn’t react. What was the point? When he finished, he settled behind me, arms wrapping around my waist. He nuzzled my back, scent marking, and I didn’t bother to protest, even though I hadn’tallowed anyone to do so since I was a child. Kalvoxrencol was doing it to soothe himself, as he feared losing me.
He and the rest of my family hadn’t left me alone since… since everything.
The one person whose presence I couldn’t bear was Seth. The first time he entered my bedroom, I’d screamed at him to leave before breaking down into a shivering heap. He was what my Caleb should’ve been—human and alive.
Seth had simply left. I’d expected Kalvoxrencol to snap at me, but he let it go.
The door opened, and Hallonnixmin flopped onto the bed in front of me, jostling my screen. I growled at him. Ignoring my protest, Hallonnixmin brushed his claws through my greasy hair and said, “Perhaps you can clean yourself or leave your quarters. The garden is lovely today.”
I didn’t answer.
Yesterday Mother had asked the same thing, and Father the day before. They’d even asked Dontilvynsan to steal my grief for a moment, to give me a chance to breathe without the suffocating emotions, but he couldn’t get close enough to me without it causing him harm; my agony was too much for my elder brother.
All of them, even NAID and Urgg, had tried to get me to leave my quarters, but I didn’t want to. Caleb wasn’t there, so what was the point?
I groaned, voice deeper than I remembered, trying to move. Everything hurt. No, that was an understatement. Agony, clear and simple, wracked me. Still, I struggled to move, twitch, anything. My eyelids were so heavy, though. Eyelids?
Voices spoke in the distance, but they were warbled murmurs like they came from underwater. I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream. But nothing happened. I was frozen.
Sunshine. Fyn. Zoltilvoxfyn. My mate.
