He was lovely.
I swallowed as an urge to cover my scars burned through me. My wings hugged my sides and my tail coiled up my leg, making me grimace.
Fyn pulled me into his arms. “Breathe, Mate.”
“I am.” I swore I was, though I did forget at times.
He smoothed a hand over my back, and I shivered, groaning. I gently tugged on one of his nipple rings, and his breath sharpened. Monty had suggested the truth, and he was right. As much as it was easier to hide behind sex and smiles, that didn’t make for a healthy relationship, and me and Fyn were it, so serious talking. Fun.
“I’m overwhelmed,” I confessed. “I’m not used to everything. Every sense is stronger than ever, and I have no idea what to do with my wings or tail.”
“Do you want me to stop touching you?”
“No,” I said, moving closer. My hips slotted against his, and my hard cock pressed against him.
“Caleb,” he groaned, breath rushing over me.
“I just…”
He pushed my long hair back, and I fought a cringe. “What?”
“I can’t help but wonder what this would be like if I was in my human body. I know that’s impossible because I died a long time ago. Like a very longlongtime ago. God, my body is probably withered or gooey… I shouldn’t have thought about that, because I feel gross now.”
“Caleb,” Fyn said, drawing me out of my random thoughts.
“Anyway.” I shrugged, ignoring the ache the movement created. “What if? The question never stops circling my head. I try not to… But I can’t help it.”
“Can I be honest without upsetting you?”
“Yeah,” I said, even though I wasn’t sure it was the truth.
“I wonder too.”
“You do?”
“I do,” he said, kissing my forehead. “I am so happy and grateful you are here, Caleb. Beyond happy. I never want to be without you ever again. Not even for a day. But I think about how you used to look because that’s what I’m used to. I wonder how your human form would have felt against me. How kissing you would have felt. What hugging you would have been like. How falling asleep with your much smaller body in my arms would have been. How fucking you would have felt. I think about all of it.”
Fucking hell, I was crying again. Why? I had no idea. “I thought about asking Seth, but I don’t think he will answer.”
Zoltilvoxfyn laughed, tail curling around my leg. “I think you’re right.”
Rocking my hips into his made his rare laughter break off as his breath caught. I said, “I want to have sex, but I’m afraid of how I’ll react.”
“We can wait.”
I didn’t want to wait, but we might have to because of how sore I was. At least for tonight. Still, I worried my body wouldn’t handle it when Fyn fucked me, but maybe it would be worth the pain or we could find a position that didn’t hurt? I wasn’t sure. This was new to me. Then again, so much was.
“I want you to fuck me,” I said, kissing his jaw. “But maybe nothing penetrative tonight. I’m tired and not used to this body.”
“We can do whatever you want.”
A frown tugged at the corners of my lips. Fyn hadn’t told me what he wanted, and his wants and needs were as important as mine, and lately, everything had been about me. In fact, now that I thought about it, he’d been over-solicitous and catering to my every need. He rarely said what he thought.
“What do you want, Fyn? I need to know. You’ve been very careful with me lately, which I love, but I also love you being you. We haven’t even talked about how you are doing or how you’re handling everything.” I didn’t know if he was comfortable with me bringing up his depression, but I knew Fyn hadn’t seen his doctor since I’d come back, which wasn’t good.
His fingers slid into my hair again and made me shiver. The silky strands of Yol—my hair made me wince from the tickling. Fyn moved up and started to massage my scalp, and I groaned, rutting into him. His hard cock brushed mine, and I swore. That was beyond nice.
“I worry,” he confessed.
