Page 72 of Arseni
Because they are… To him, at least.He says these things with so much authority that I’m beginning to believe them too.
“What um…” At least thirty seconds have passed, and I still don’t know what I want to ask.I shrug.“What’s something you’ve never told anyone?”
He looks up like he’s thinking about it.He doesn’t look like someone about to expose all of his secrets.He looks like someone with nothing to hide.
I pretend that doesn’t bother me.
“I think Nikita has innocent people killed just because it amuses him.”
I nod and try not to show my disappointment too much.“Oh.”
“Why did you become an engineer?”He picks up his wine glass and stares inside it like it’s more interesting than this conversation.
I love my job.I’m fairly passionate about my job.Designs are like paintings to me.Physics has always been my favorite subject.
But right now?I don’t give a shit.
“It’s good money,” I lie.I do okay, but I’d make more if I’d gone to law school like my adoptive father begged.Gwen and Arthur were so desperate to have a child, but I was still never my adoptive father’s blood.He couldn’t see himself when he looked at me, so he settled for trying to turn me into him.
I tuck hair behind my ear.“You know, your answer was sort of a fact about Nikita.Not about yourself.”
His eyes narrow like he’s confused by that.“You just said to tell you something I’ve never told anyone.”
“Right, but…” I bring my thumb to my mouth to chew on the nail, looking toward the back door.
“You mean something personal?”he asks.I don’t for one second believe he didn’t already know that.
But I don’t call him out on it.I just nod.
He rubs his chin, faking contemplation.I can see it in his eyes now.See the armor he wears, the doors he just reinforced.
He isn’t telling me shit.
“I think you pretty much know everything,” he says.“I grew up in the system, then I was homeless, then I joined the Bratva.”
“How?”
“How what?”
“How did you join the Bratva?Did they recruit you?”
As if they just walk around picking up homeless kids.
Or maybe they do.I don’t know.
He tips his head side-to-side.“Yeah, something like that.”
“Somethinglike that?”
Could you be any more vague?I want to ask but bite my tongue.I can tell I’m already beginning to sound flustered.Desperate.Maybe even angry.
How could he not have one thing to share with me?After everything I’ve shared with him…
He lifts a hand in a dismissive wave.“You don’t want to know the details, Margot.Trust me.”
“Then what do I want to know, Arseni?”My arms slowly cross over my chest.“I watched you kill a man right in front of me.He puked up blood on my stomach.What is it you think I can’t handle?”
“Why are you pushing this?”he asks, tension winding into his tone as well.
