Page 66 of Wisteria and Cloves
"Good idea," Nicolaus nodded approvingly. "Organization can help manage anxiety in unfamiliar situations."
I finished the last bite of my pancake, surprised to find I'd eaten more than I thought despite my nervousness. "Ishould change into something more appropriate for a doctor's appointment."
"You look lovely as you are," Christopher offered warmly. "But wear whatever makes you feel most comfortable."
I glanced down at my simple green dress. It was one of the few pieces of clothing I actually liked from my previous wardrobe—modest but not restrictive, the color reminding me of the garden. "Maybe I'll just add shoes," I decided, realizing I'd been padding around barefoot since coming downstairs.
"Take your time," Julian said, beginning to clear the remaining dishes. "I'll bring the car around when you're ready."
I stood, folder in hand, and made it halfway to the stairs before Christopher's voice stopped me.
"Lilianna?" His tone was gentle, almost hesitant. "I know today feels overwhelming, but I'm proud of you for taking this step. For choosing to learn about your own body and health."
The simple words of encouragement made my throat tight with emotion. "Thank you," I managed, then hurried upstairs before I could start crying again.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Lilianna
I sat in the waiting room and t finished filling out the paperwork while waiting to be called back. Julian sat beside me, his presence a steady anchor as I clutched the folder in my lap. The doctor's office was unlike any medical facility I'd visited before—warm colors instead of sterile white, comfortable furniture rather than rigid plastic chairs, soft music playing in the background. Even the reception desk seemed designed for comfort, with a low counter that allowed the staff to speak to patients at eye level rather than looking down at them.
"You're doing great," Julian murmured, noticing how I fidgeted with the folder's edge. "Deep breaths."
I nodded, trying to slow my racing heart. Around us, other patients waited quietly—a pregnant omega with her mate, an elderly beta reading a magazine, a young alpha scrolling through her phone. No one paid us any particular attention, which felt strangely liberating after years of being scrutinized in public.
"Lilianna Wycliffe?" A nurse appeared at the doorway, her warm smile immediately putting me at ease. She was a middle-aged beta with kind eyes and scrubs decorated with small butterflies. "Dr. Chen is ready to see you."
I stood on unsteady legs, Julian rising beside me with fluid grace. "Would you like me to come back with you?" he asked quietly, giving me the choice without pressure.
"Please," I whispered, grateful when he simply nodded and followed me down the hallway.
Dr. Chen's office was as welcoming as the waiting room—diplomas and certifications hung alongside artwork, plants sat on the windowsill, and her desk held personal photos alongside medical journals. The doctor herself was a petite omega in her forties with intelligent dark eyes and an immediately reassuring presence.
"Lilianna, it's wonderful to meet you," Dr. Chen said, standing to shake my hand. Her grip was firm but gentle, her smile reaching her eyes. "And you must be Julian," she added, turning to shake his hand as well.
"Thank you for seeing us," Julian replied, his voice carrying that subtle protective note I was beginning to recognize.
"Please, have a seat," Dr. Chen gestured to two comfortable chairs across from her desk. "Before we begin, Lilianna, I want to make sure you understand something important: this is your appointment. While I'm happy Julian is here for support, all decisions today are yours alone."
The directness of her statement caught me off guard. In my previous medical experiences, doctors had always addressed my parents first, treating me as an afterthought.
"I... understand," I said, though the concept of medical autonomy still felt foreign.
Dr. Chen smiled, opening a tablet with my information. "I've reviewed the intake forms you completed. I understand you've been on suppressants since you were thirteen, is that correct?"
"Yes, I was put on them after I had my first heat.” I told her, shifting in the seat slightly.
Dr. Chen's expression remained professional, but I caught a flicker of concern in her eyes. "And you mentioned you weren't informed about what type of suppressants you were receiving?"
"No. The doctor would speak privately with my mother, and then a nurse would administer the injection. I was never given the specifics."
Dr. Chen made a note on her tablet, her brow furrowing slightly. "That's troubling from both a medical and ethical standpoint. Patients deserve to understand their treatment, regardless of age." She looked up, her gaze direct but kind. "Would you be comfortable discussing how you've felt physically and emotionally while on suppressants?"
I glanced at Julian, who gave me an encouraging nod.
"I've always been tired," I began hesitantly. "Cold all the time. And everything feels... muted. Like I'm experiencing life through a thick pane of glass or even in a dense fog."
Dr. Chen nodded, making notes as I spoke. "Those symptoms are consistent with high-dose continuous suppressants, particularly older formulations. They don't just prevent heats—they dampen your entire endocrine system."
