“Can I sit?”
I knew the question was for courtesy sake so I didn’t bother answering. Even if I told him no, he would still do what he wanted. Nathan doesn’t do well with instructions, especially when they come from me.
“Are you okay?” he asked and I shrugged. “I’m going to need words sunshine, I can’t read body language.”
“Isn’t reading body language part of your job?”
“Maybe, but have you considered the fact that I just wanted to hear you speak?”
I exhaled deeply and finally looked at him. I knew what he was seeing; a tired and exhausted woman. Normally, I would try to hide it and pretend to be fine but I had no energy left in me anymore.
“I don’t really have the energy to banter with you Nathan.”
“Then don’t,” he said simply, “If you want to get drunk, we’ll go and get drunk. If you want to scream, I’ll stand here and scream with you but under no circumstances will I allow you to sit here and feel bad because of what that asshole said to you.”
“What if he was right? What if I pushed him away? What if I truly prioritized my work over him?”
“Even if you did all those things, which you didn’t, it doesn’t give him the right to cheat on you. A normal person would leave a relationship if they think it isn’t working for them anymore.”
“I’m not angry,” I said and from the look on his face, I knew he didn’t quite believe me, “Really, I’m not. I was angry before, hurt and ashamed. But now, I’m just disappointed and I can see everything quite clearly. I don’t know why I didn’t see it before.”
“You loved him; love can make us do the craziest things and turn us into shadows of ourselves if we give it to the wrong person.”
“Since when did you become a poet?’
“Since always, you just never noticed.”
I scoffed at him and lay back against the grass. I closed my eyes so that the sun wouldn’t get into it but I allowed myself to feel the warmth of the rays on my skin.
When I started out my day, I didn’t think it would end like this. In fact, I thought it would end with me bored as hell in my bed but I’m grateful that I was able to have that conversation with Joseph. It finally allowed me to let go of whatever bit of resentment I was holding towards him.
“Can I ask you a question?” I was more shocked that he was asking for permission but I hummed, “Is he the reason you hate the town?”
“The last time you insinuated that, it ended in an argument.”
“Just answer the question.”
“That's part of the reason.” I admitted, “I never liked the idea of small towns in the first place. I love the city, I love the loud, I love the noise, I love the night life; I grew up there, and it is all I know. But when that happened, it just kind of solidified my hate for it.”
“Don’t you think you should give it a try?”
“I have given it a try for the past two days.”
“No, you’ve gone around with a permanent scowl because you don’t want to give it a try.” I rolled my eyes but I knew he was right, “What about last night? Did you enjoy it?”
“I was tired, I would have enjoyed anything.” I lied.
I peeled my eyes open from where I was lying down and saw him giving me a look that said he knew I was lying. I huffed and turned away and out of the corner of my eye, I saw the edge of his lips tilt up into a smile.
“Let’s go to the bar this evening.”
“No way.”
“Just give the town a chance Adira. You don’t have to love it but do you really want to leave here with only bad memories.”
“It won’t be the first time it has happened.” I shrugged and I waited for him to say something witty in return but when he didn’t respond I opened my eyes.
“It’s just one night, what’s the worst that could happen?”
