Page 138 of Nevermore
It’s not fair to say something like that, not when she’s been there before, not whenI’vebeen there before. That’s something I do understand and getting to that place is scary but it’s even scarier when you can’t leave it.
I’m starting to worry that Leonor really can’t.
Between years ago and months ago, I wouldn’t blame her if that was the case. I’d be devastated and so would everyone else but my god, with all of the shit our girl has been through, it’s a miracle she’s laying in that bed like a zombie and not figuring out how to become one.
Scrubbing a hand over my face, I check my phone as it buzzes on the floor next to me.
PETE: Gonna be a while. I can’t get him out of the van to go inside, he just wants to turn around and go back to Leonor.
A sad smile touches my lips as I respond.
We’re fine here. Markus is asleep in the living room, I’m with our girl right now. Do whatever you have to do for Luck and let me know if you need us.
PETE: I will, sweet boy.
PETE: It’s fucking killing me to see him like this.
I know, but he needs to do this.
Because if Lucky doesn’t get himself in front of his therapist he’s going to end up surgically stitching his body to Leo’s after finding her on the brink of death a second time.
I don’t know why the universe had it play out that way but it did, and after about a month of Lucius seemingly handling it ok and being the strong fucker he is, our gentle giant completely fell apart.
For the first time I think ever, he had a full blown, bonafide nervous breakdown and it was nothing like what happens when he has rough OCD episodes.
Which scared the fuck out of us.
Lucky is usually so composed, so clear headed and rational, even when it comes to heavy shit but I guess this was something his mind couldn’t process. Rightfully so, but it was still scary to see him fall apart.
He started seeing his therapist more frequently, upping things from once a month to twice a week but it was all over FaceTime and while that was helpful and landed him a short term prescription to take the edge off things, it’s not doing what needs to be done.
So, his therapist made him leave the hotel for their appointment today and clearly it’s not going well.
Not that it’s surprising, I don’t think Luck has slept since he found Leonor in the cemetery and I’m pretty sure a few more days would have had him doing something none of us could handle but Pete managed to get him out of here to go to the appointment and I’m taking that as a good sign.
Luck physically going to therapy, Mark actually sleeping for more than fifteen minutes at a time. I feel like we’re headed in the right direction and I know that if we could get Leo to...
“Norm?”
My head snaps up from my phone, my wide eyes connecting with bloodshot cobalt blue ones. “Yeah, sweets?”
Leo swallows hard, her throat probably sore as fuck since she hasn’t spoken a word in two months. “I don’t want to do this anymore.”
“Do…” My heart starts slamming into my chest as I fight the urge to scoot toward her, to rush at her and overwhelm her with everything in me screaming to take care of her. “Do what, Leo?”
“This.” She blinks slowly as a single tear slips down her cheek and lands on the pillow under her head. “I don’t want to live this way anymore.”
With a shuddering breath, I very slowly, very carefully move closer to the edge of the bed. My heart squeezes, my guts pitch, but I try to remain calm because the part of me that was convinced Leonor would be doing exactly what she is now is trying to take a back seat to the part of me that’s terrified of what it is she means by that.
“What… what do you?—”
“I don’t want to be afraid anymore,” Leo says as her voice cracks. “I don’t want to live in fear. I want my-my-my goddamn l-life b-b-back.”
Then she completely dissolves into a sobbing mess.
One I can’t sit by and just watch.
Much quicker this time, I go to our girl, wrapping her in my arms and scooting her toward the middle of the bed. I lay down with her, holding her close, sighing in relief as Leonor cries the hardest I’ve ever heard her cry against my chest. She clings to me as tightly as possible, her hands trembling as they clutch theback of my shirt, her legs tangling with mine as if Leo is trying to crawl inside me.
