Page 55 of Insidious Heart
He saw me for what I was, what I still am, and instead of treating me like shit or shunning me for it, John accepted it—tolerated it—and helped me control it. And he allowed me to be my authentic self, regardless of what it meant to do so.
His is the only true friendship I’ve had, the only person outside of my brother who seems to genuinely give a shit about me, and while I will always be grateful for it, it didn’t help me figure out how the hell I’m supposed to interact with other people.
Stevie being the perfect example of that.
Nothing about what I’m doing with my baby dove isnormalby anyone’s standards.
Not that either of us are complaining, but still.
“You have no idea what I’m talking about, do you?” Spider asks, drawing my attention back to him.
And when I don’t see judgment or irritation, rejection or annoyance, no sarcasm or condescending look—which I amveryfamiliar with—just the matter of fact realization that I don’t get what he’s saying, I nod.
“For some fucking reason, I like you.” Spider sighs, almost like he’s admitting it’s exhausting to possibly like me. “Pope and I both did, almost from the jump, and at this point, most of the EC likes you, too. If not, they definitely respect you. But the thing is, you aren’t in the club and haven’t shown any interest in joining. Little John is really the only reason we entertain you at all, but for the years of affiliation, he isn’t a King either, so we can’t really be sure whether you’re in or not.”
I nod again slowly. “So, accusing me of these sloppy as fuck kills to gauge my reaction was a way of trying to test that.”
All four of the Kings nod.
“Just like egging me about getting Beau.”
Another simultaneous nod.
“Well, now you know, I guess.” I shrug because I don’treallyunderstand how my reaction tells them anything. Maybe a smidge, but mostly not.
Must be a club thing.
And regardless of that, if me losing my shit and dropping some personal info did it for them, so be it.
Still don’t plan on joining their littleganganytime soon.
But it does lead me to a point I wanted to make before Pope lit a fuse. “Now that all of that is out of the way, maybe we should get back to business.” I sigh as I pull a cigarette from my pack. “Not only was I going to encourage you to go to The Butcher’s stupid fucking celebration, I was going to suggest youhost it.”
“Say what the fuck?” Marbles scowls. “Why the fuck would we do that?”
I open my mouth to respond but Pork Chop points at me as he starts nodding. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m picking up what you’re laying down.” My brow lifts as he starts pacing again. “Control, man. We’d have control of the environment, eyes everywhere. We have them on our turf as a sign of accepting this bullshit treaty he’s proposing, then we can keep the ball in our court the entire time.”
The VP’s scowl deepens. “And where the hell are we supposed to have a party for the asshole who killed Tank and Gunner, then tried to kill me and Snipe?”
I cringe a little at that because I knew it would come up.
Intense history and sensitive topics.
But I still feel like it makes the most sense . Which is why I say that. “Tenderloin is right.” Pork Chop glares at me but I wave him off. “If you host this shindig on Kings’ soil it gives you ultimate control over the situation. And I believe the eight-legged one just acquired a strip club…”
“Fuck,” Spider grunts. “You’re right. I can’t argue with any of this. Keeping this fucking party in check would mean neutral ground at the very least, but our territory? That’s even better. And The Dollhouse is ideal. The space, the bar. Entertainment.”
“Plus the staff are all trained in various forms of combat.” Pope leans back in his chair and crosses his arms against his chest. “Tate won’t like it though.”
“Oh, she’ll fucking hate it.” Spider nods as he scrubs a hand over his hair. “She’ll hate putting the girls at risk in any way, but if we just enforce the policies already in place, make sure everyone is working and call in all the patches, it should be fine. Plus, most of us will be there.”
Marbles scratches his chin with a nod. “‘Cause Snipe ain’t gonna go. Neither will Cy. They ain’t gonna want to leave the babies unprotected.” Then his gaze flicks to Spider and he gives him a twisted grin. “Not saying you want to leave Jimmy boy unprotected but he’d jump at hanging with his cousins for a night.”
“I know,” Spider grunts. “He’ll just figure it’s another night Tate and I have to work.”
“And he’ll get to play with all of hisaunts and unclesassuming you’re going to consolidate because of this little party?” When I’m met with nothing but agreement, I nod. “Good. Because I think the four of you should be the only ones in attendance. Beau will expect Prez but won’t argue since he has a wife and baby at home. Outside of that, he won’t give too much of a shit I don’t think. Keep the other five on your compound’s land, put it in lockdown, then the five of us—”
“Five?” Pope lifts one blonde brow at me.
