Page 81 of Broken Warrior
I was trying not to get upset, was going to just listen to Fin and respond when needed all while trying to keep a level head, but this is absolutely ridiculous. Quite frankly, it’s stupid, and he’s right when he said it has nothing to do with anything at all.
“Of all the things you could have marched in here firing off at me,that’swhat you want to ask first?” I shake my head. “Elias is myfriend, Fin. He’s my friend, a good friend, and he’s been the one keeping me safe while I’m at work, long before there was even a threat and double time after. Zak called him and told him to stay with me while I was here and that’s what he was doing. Elias was followingclub orders, just like the rest of you overgrown gorillas do.”
Fin’s eyes narrow on my face. “You looked pretty fucking cozy.”
“Oh my god! Really? I knew you weren’t going to be happy when you inevitably found out everything you were going to find out, right down to the fact that I picked up a shift tonight, but Jesus, Finlay, I didn’t expect you to come in hot with this jealousy bullshit.”
“You two in here alone a lot? Maybe while I was infucking rehab? Agood friendconsoling you while your piece of shit wannabe boyfriend wasn’t around?”
My jaw drops, drops right to my chest as my eyes go wide. “What did you just say?”
“You heard me, Tate. Maybe Elias is why you wanted to keep The Dollhouse a secret to begin with. Maybe you didn’t want anyone to know and got so pissed when I found out, so angry over me buying all your time from Trent because it limited any time you got to spend with yourgood friend.”
“Take it back.”
Fin just stares at me, a muscle in his jaw ticking.
“Take it back, Finlay MacAllister. You take back every single thought you have like that because you know damn well that I have loved you from the minute I saw you and aftereverythingwe’ve been through, I would never,couldnever do anything like that to you because of it.”
“Then why. Were you.Alone with him?”
“I’m not answering that.” And I won’t. If he wants to come in here like some angry caveman, fine, but he doesn’t have to let his fear and worry manifest into some bullshit excuse backed by jealousy. I’m ready for a fight but not one like this. This is garbage at best and it’s disrespect I don’t have to take.
Fin looks at me a little longer before his stare shifts and begins to move around the room. He takes in the mirrored wall, the pole, the red Victorian wallpaper on the walls. His gaze slowly travels to the other couch, searching every inch of fabric for some sign of a lie, and when they land on the GED test packet and my books, Fin’s eyes snap to mine.
And I just cross my arms against my chest then jut my chin out for good measure.
No infidelity here, asshole.
Just a stupid girl trying to get an education.
Take that, Mr. Know-it-all.
“Oh, this is fucking great.” Fin plants his hands on his hips, hangs his head then aggressively takes off his jacket and whips it at the floor. “You’restudyingwith him?”
I frown becausewhat?
Why on earth would that move his meter in any way?
But my big angry boyfriend doesn’t skip a beat. “You’re studying with some bouncer from a strip club when you could…” He shakes his head. “So many goddamn secrets.”
Oh…“It’s not a big deal, Fin. I’ve been—”
“Not a big deal? Not a big deal. Right. Hiding the fact that you haven’t gotten your GED yet so you didn’t have to study with me isn’t a big deal. Clearly keeping things from me while preaching honesty, after we talked about some of the darkest shit to happen in our lives, isn’t a big deal.” Fin scrubs his hand over his hair then starts to pace. “But conveniently not telling me that you hadn’t been living in your own goddamn apartment for weeks—not until you invited me over for dinner—or that you haven’t actually gone to work since the fuckers who held you captive for over half of your life not only found but alsoshowed uphereis a big fucking deal, Tate. The other shit stings and it’s not insignificant to me, but goddamnit, most of this is a big motherfucking deal.”
“I didn’t want to—”
“No,” he grunts as he points at me. “No, don’t give me the wholeI didn’t want to tell you because I wanted you to get betterbullshit. I just heard it from the entire goddamn Executive Committee and I don’t want to hear it from you, too.”
“Well, that’s too damn bad.” Fin stops mid-pace and turns to me, but I don’t let him speak because now I’m pissed. “You don’t get to say that to me. Not now, not ever. Making sure yougot betterwas exactly why I didn’t tell you anything about Rosco or living with Dori, why I didn’t tell you that I haven’t been working or hardly leaving the house. You don’t get to treat your recovery as some sorry bullshit excuse when it’s actually one of the most important reasons any of us did anything we’ve done for the last few months.”
“I’m not a scapegoat, not some reason to—”
“No. No, you’re not a scapegoat, even though I don’t know what the hell that means in this situation, but you area reason, Fin.Youarea reason. Your health is a reason.” I take a step toward him, my fists now clenched at my sides. “I held you in my arms, Fin. Held you in my arms as you lay dying.Thatwas a reason for me to keep all the secrets in the world because I don’teverwant to do that again. I don’t ever want to feel the way I did when I thought I was losing you. I would have kept a thousand more secrets from you if I had to, if it meant you could focus on getting better so you could come back to me, back to everyone who loves you.” I close the space between us, grateful these stupid stilettos put us closer to nose to nose so he can get a good look at how mad I am. “The world didn’t stop while you were getting better, Fin, so no one is using you as a scapegoat, but you can bet your ass that every single person who loves you kept the big, bad world from you for a little while in hopes that you would come back to us the way you have. And I will never ever be sorry for any of it.”
Fin just stares down at me for a few beats before he growls, “It’s my fault.”
“Excuse me?”
