Page 80 of Broken Warrior
Fin loves me.
Even when he’s mad.
Fin loves me and it’s ok for us to argue. It’s healthy and normal.
I don’t have to sit back and take it as a punishment because Fin isn’t punishing me.
I can speak my mind, I can argue back, and I can stand up for myself.
Fin loves me, he’s worried about me, and he will never ever hurt me.
Fin isnotGino.
I take a deep breath and lift my head high. “I won’t, but only because we both know the answer to it.”
He glances at me over his shoulder, scowling the prettiest scowl I’ve ever seen. “We do, and I am trying like hell not to lose my shit with you because you don’t deserve it, but I’m on a razor-thin wire, Tate.”
“Ok.” He is, I can see it. And I get it. Fin went to a church meeting without any idea why, then he not only found out my crazy captor and his people found me, but I’ve been hiding all kinds of things from him for weeks—longer, really—and I’m sure Fin is ready to snap.
I can appreciate his effort, but I know him too well to think he’ll hold it together this entire time. Feeling all of his feelings at maximum power without any kind of substance to numb it has been difficult for Fin, and when he cares, when he loves, he does it with everything he’s got and that manifests through his anxiety more than anything else. Which is what led to his addiction in the first place.
Therapy has been a real eye opener.
And I’m ready.
I’m ready for whatever the man I love throws at me because I can take it.
We love each other and I’m armed with that, so I know whatever happens in this room is rooted in that love and will be handled because of it.
Fin scrubs a hand over his face as he takes a deep breath. “I don’t even know where the fuck to start.”
“Just be honest with me, Fin. That’s all I want. Start wherever you need to as long as you’re honest with me.”
“You wantwhat?” He turns to me slowly, anger radiating in every move. “Say that again.”
I swallow hard. “Honesty. I want you to be completely honest with me.”
“That’s real fucking cute coming from you right now.”
I flinch because he has a point. I haven’t been lying to Fin, but I haven’t exactly told him the truth either. I’ve been honest about everything I’ve said to him, but I did leave some things out and doing that could be considered deceitful. Even if I had a good reason for it, and either way, I let it go on too long.
Still. “You don’t have to be a dick, Fin. Obviously we both know I left things out when we’ve talked, but I haven’t lied to you since we started seeing each other and I won’t do that ever again. Just because you’re angry doesn’t mean you have to be a jerk.”
“Ok, Tate.” He takes a step toward me. “You want honesty, complete transparency moving forward? Fine. How about I start in a place that has zero bearing on the actual reason I’m here?”
I take a deep breath as he walks toward me, putting us less than three feet apart, then nod as he looks me right in the eye.
“It literally has nothing to do with why I’m here, but the firsthonestquestion I have is, what the hell was that ex-militant little fuck doing in herealonewith my girl?”
“What?” I wasn’t really expecting him to askthatquestion.
But Fin nods. “See? Nothing to do with why I’m here, but now that I am, I want to know why the fuck that tattooed muscle-bound meathead was alone with my goddamn girlfriend?”
“You’re serious?”
“As a fucking heart attack.”
Well, now I’m getting mad.
