“Theo, honey.” He cups my cheeks and starts taking stock of the complete mess I am. “Fuck. Goddamnit. Baby, what happened to you?”
I can’t even form words.
I’m crashing now, crashing hard as the Cobras scatter, as relief and gratitude wash over me in a warm gentle wave while I look up into one emerald-green eye and one opal one, so fucking tired but so fucking glad Zak is here and he’s ok.
“I need to get you to Doc,” he grunts as his big palms slide carefully down my neck. “Can you… fuck.” Zak looks down at my bare feet then scoops me up in his arms with his next breath.
My poor little tootsies hurt; they aren’t that bad, mostly just dirty as hell, but I’m not going to argue, not when I’m surrounded by my favorite scent that belongs to my favorite man, wrapped in the safety of his strong arms.
Zak feels like home and to think I could have lost him tonight makes that knot in my chest so tight it threatens to strangle me.
CHAPTERELEVEN
ZAK
I watchTheo like a hawk as she walks down the hall to her room, her steps slow and dragging a bit across the plush carpet.
She’s been completely silent since she shot Buzzcut in the foot, hasn’t so much as sighed since Doc looked her over. Her injuries are minor, just surface cuts and scratches from all the debris she fought through as Theo proved she is in fact the most incredible woman I have ever met.
She protected Sofie without batting an eye, despite the way things went to shit around us, got her and Harlow to safety and managed to take out a couple of Cobras all on her own. Even had the upper hand on the asshole Spider killed, scratched his fucking eyes out before the bastard tried to strangle her. And even after she was almost choked to death, Blondie ran into the heart of the battle, found Marbles and Prez then managed to stop him from bleeding out mere minutes before he would have lost his own battle.
And if that wasn’t enough, Theo went looking for me and saved my ass from a sneak attack before helping me take care of those bastards without adding to the death toll.
I pieced all of this together through talking to different patches that saw her in action once the smoke cleared, making my rounds while Theo was with Doc and Harlow.
To say I’m shocked and impressed as fuck would be an understatement, but they’re the only words I have to describe how I’m feeling. Well, that and so fucking relieved she’s alive, as well as like the scum of the earth for putting her in a situation to even worry about that when I want nothing more than to protect her.
I went from the happiest I’ve ever been because I finally found the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with, to hating myself with a renewed self-loathing and disgust, I can barely handle being in the same room with her.
And Theo’s out of character radio silence has me so close to freaking out I can’t stand it.
Slowly and with more hesitation than I’d like, I walk down the hall, boots and cut still on because I’m seriously considering leaving.
I don’t want to, don’t want to leave Theo for a million reasons, and while I’d only go outside because I still need to try to keep her safe, I also know I don’t deserve her, especially after epically failing her.
Theo walks to her dresser, rummages around for a minute before she seemingly gives up, closes the drawer and walks into the bathroom.
The water turns on and I can tell she’s filling the tub and despite every cell in my body screaming at me to stay, to take care of her, protect her better, never leave her side, I feel like right now is the time to say good bye for good.
If I can’t protect her on my turf, then what good am I to her anyway?
“Theo...” I clear my throat as I step into the doorway. “I think—“
“Can you unzip me, please?”
My brows lift but I nod and walk over as she gives me her back. Even in the tattered and bloodstained dress with streaks of dirt striped along her porcelain skin, Blondie is still the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.
She sweeps her hair over her shoulder then takes out her earrings as my fingers fumble with the zipper, pull it down to reveal the tattoo that makes me bite back a groan, the beautiful body I’m dying to see, to touch, to worship, but won’t ever get the chance.
The dress pools at her feet, another reminder of how bad I fucked up, those delicate small feet now marred by cuts and bruises.
I did that to her. It’s my fault. Every single mark on her perfect skin is my fault and I don’t know if I can forgive myself let alone beg her for the same.
Another clearing of my throat. “I should, I…”I’m an idiot.I rub the back of my neck and sigh. “I was thinking...”
Theo turns to face me and fuck my life, she is fucking magnificent, so goddamn beautiful in nothing but a strapless bra and sexy as hell thong.
A parting gift, I guess. A final look at what I’ll never have, what I’ll never deserve, a memory of the most perfect thing to ever happen to me to keep me warm when I have nothing left.
