Page 44 of Sinister Red
A family pack of double stuffed Oreos, and Star Trek, the original series on blu-ray.
I take a shaky breath and look up at Lewis, but he holds up a hand before I can speak. “You think I don’t pay attention, but I do. I’ve noticed all the times you binge on both of those and cry, so I figured they comforted you when your cramps and pain got too hard to bear or something.” He smiles proudly. “There’s also a pair of pj pants in the bottom of the bag that match mine, and a new heating pad, and I was thinking after dinner we could just camp out in bed. Have a cozy night in together while you let me be the understanding partner you need.”
A tear rolls down my cheek as I drop my gaze, digging through the bag to find exactly what Lewis described in order to mask my hurt.
Don’t get me wrong, this is thoughtful. It’s so thoughtful and shows that he pays more attention than what I give him credit for, but it’s more than that.
This bag, this gift, it proves three things.
Lewis is a good man but doesn’t give a shit about our sex life.
I have officially settled for safe and mediocre with the possibility of mundane and unhappy for the rest of my life.
And even after seven years, Sam North still brings me comfort because I didn’t even realize what my fiancé so obviously did. When I hurt, or I’m sad, I turn to the only physical pieces of Sammy I have left.
I seek solace in the man I’ll love forever but threw away, when I should be searching it out and demanding it from the man I’ll actually be with for the rest of my life.
So I just smile up at Lewis, tell him about my surprise and how it goes perfectly with his, then start cooking his favorite dinner because I don’t know what the hell to do with any of these gut-wrenching revelations right now.
CHAPTERNINE
SAM
Well,tonight went better than I expected.
I still have a wicked case ofdoom guts, the same one I’ve had since Tuesday, but after the impromptu church meeting and this scheduled one, I’ve been feeling a little lighter. Key words beinga little.
The guys called it with assuming we were going to get in on this run for the O’Malleys, so we talked as a club about all the specifics that will go into that for most of the night, including the involvement from the Pythons. Which is why Link, Dead Ed, and Little John are at the clubhouse with us now, nailing down the details and essentially divvying up roles before everyone gets too hammered celebrating thetwo point one million dollar dealwe’re about to pull off.
Finding out the total was a surprise, and it definitely solidified the Kings place in it, but it’s part of why my gut hasn’t chilled the fuck out yet.
That is a lot of guns, and a lot of money, which means it’s going to be dangerous as fuck when we pull it off. Thankfully, we only need to pick up the shipment in California and bring it back to Sabine Woods, then store it until the O’Malley’s boys get in from New York to take it off our hands. Shouldn’t be too complicated, especially since Withers and Abernathy are involved—each getting a nice little payout of their own because of it too—and working on forging some kind of paperwork that might be helpful if we get popped across state borders. We’re covered from all angles except one, and Tank is convinced that one won’t be a problem.
All of that should put me at ease, but since it didn’t, tonight should have done that for sure.
When Tank, along with Gunner and Breaker, pulled me aside Tuesday, I thought I was going to be sick.
The three of them have been like family to me, father figures I’ve looked up to ever since I joined the club, and sitting down with the three of them to talk about what I assumed was going to be something horrible was the closest I’ve ever come to a heart attack in my twenty-nine-years on the planet.
My mind immediately went to all of the shit I’ve caused for them, all the things I view as fuck ups or black marks on my time as a King, but when I began tofucking apologizefor getting myself locked up for six-and-a-half years, Gunner started cracking up. So I shut up.
Tank started off by telling me that they viewed me as one of their own, look at me like a son just like they do Jackal and Spider, the same way they view the other guys in our circle. He talked about the good I’ve done for the club, the positive steps I’ve taken to help make things run smoother, the things I’ve implemented that support what they’ve been trying to do from the beginning. Tank praised me for the way I’ve always made the club a priority, how I quickly adopted theirride or diephilosophy and became a leader among the group.
Everything he was saying, every time Gunner or Breaker interjected with their own feelings on a subject, it all had me fucking speechless and sitting their with my jaw hanging open, so much so that it didn’t even register when they said the three of them were going to retire after this next run and wanted me to take over the club as president.
And let me tell you, when that shit did sink in, I had no idea how to fucking handle it.
Other than emphatically accepting and thanking them, of course.
We hashed out the specifics of an actual executive committee, one that had people filling all of the positions, and after the four of us were happy with the way things would run moving forward, they brought in my friends, my brothers in the club, if you will. Which brings us up to tonight.
Church was all about two things, just two topics to discuss before the party got underway.
Tank and Link laid out all the details of this next run, and then the MacAllister brothers and Breaker formally announced their retirement that would follow it, as well as the changes within club ranks.
I’m going to be the president, with Marbles, the crazy son of a bitch, acting as VP. Brick will be taking over for Breaker, Cy and Porkchop are stepping into the rolls of lead enforcer and his second. Jackal practically begged for the Road Captain position, while Spider was content becoming our secretary in order toget our history straight, while Crunchy jumped at the chance to be our treasurer and Pope just rolled his eyes when we said that left him as Chaplain. But it all fucking works. Every position has us each playing to our strengths in one way or another and allows the nine of us to work together the way we always sort of have.
It really helps that the founders offered to stick around and still be present while we got our feet wet because even though the news was seemingly well received tonight, I doubt it’ll stay that way. Anyone could view the changing of guards as a weakness, and if they wanted a shot at the club, now would be the time to do it. Well, in a few weeks anyway, after all this shit with the O’Malleys is over.
