Page 63 of His Atonement
One month to choose an innocent soul to take and cast into The End for all time.
One month to destroy one last life, to change the ones around it in order to obtain my own soul and earn my freedom.
It almost doesn't seem worth it because surely Cora, my friends, my clan, they will all hate me for what I have to do and most likely shun me, exile me for it, and what then?
What is the point of being free, of having a soul, when there is no one around to share it with?
Selfishness won out, however, because those thoughts were not enough for me to try to strike some other deal, but then again, my hand would have been forced and ifhe who shall not be namedor The Destroyer himself were to choose for me, they would most likely hit where it hurts most.
They would surely choose Cora or Havok, Andrej, Colt. They would definitely choose a soul that holds such significance in my life and force me to take it against their will and I could not have that.
Which is what brought Frankie screaming to the forefront of my mind.
It wasn't until I kissed her that I knew her place in my life, fully understood these mixed up feelings I have toward the human female, and the thought of that bastard forcing me to take her beautiful soul crushed me on such a deep level that I became sound in my resolution to freely choose to complete his task.
I just have no fucking clue how to do it.
Hopefully the month he gave me will allow me to figure it out though, because if I don't, then surely it won't be good for anyone.
And those thoughts, the crushing weight of my new purpose is so heavy, so debilitating that I did the only thing I could to forget for a while.
I smoked until I couldn't walk upright then proceeded to get smashed.
Of course, this is what led to even more thoughts about Frankie, how if she knew what I was, what I am to do, surely she would reject me as her mate, reject me as anything at all because it makes me most vile.
The more I drank though, the more I convinced myself I was somehow doing this for her because if I had my soul, if I was set free, I could possibly be the mate she deserves, be worthy of her and her love.
And that is exactly why I snuck out of my own home and broke into hers, got naked—because why would my mate deny me once she saw me naked—and waited for her to return.
It was rather stupid and most definitely not thought out, but it showed me another side of my darling girl that sealed my fate and made me realize she is mine—mine to protect, mine to care for, mine to love.
When that word echoed in my head I damn near exploded at the thought, almost made a bigger mess of things than I already had by telling her everything and demanding we mate right there in the kitchen while she made us dinner.
And though it would have been epic, that is not the way to go about things.
It was hard to refrain from explaining all of my ranting, to reveal what I am, what she is to me, and professing the intense love I have for her.
I'm sure the alcohol was a huge factor in that, but it was everything else too.
Watching her care for me despite how I annoyed her endlessly.
The meal she prepared with her own hands and shared with me.
The way Frankie made sure I wasn't going to get sick or knock myself out while I traipsed around her home with Nicolas Cage covering my dick, which was hard the entire time by the way.
Even when she planted me back in her bed, handed me the remote and told me to find something to watch while she changed and smoked.
Hell, I was even ready to mate her and insist she allow me to impregnate her immediately after watching her interact with Thor, that tiny pig already the apple of her eye. He is most adorable and I do believe he assumes Frankie and I are both his new parents because Thor was most content lying between us while we binge watched Keeping Up Appearances on Netflix.
But all of that, the fact that Frankie is beyond a doubt my mate and I already love her more than I can understand, it is all the more reason for me to leave now.
Until I am free I cannot mate her, cannot be the one she deserves, and that is only if she will still have me after she knows all that I have done.
My eyes shift from the ceiling to Thor, who proves my point about his thoughts on who mummy and daddy are because the little pig is curled up on my bare chest, sleeping peacefully.
I smile a little as I stroke his back, let my finger trail over the soft tufts of hair, the pink dotted with black spots that make him even more adorable than I previously thought.
He snorts a bit, nuzzles into me, and when I scratch just behind his ear, his back leg kicks repeatedly in obvious enjoyment.
