Page 55 of His Atonement
"Easy." He looks behind me at the house and my hackles raise. "This compound is full of them."
"No!" I bark as quietly as I can. "You will do no such thing. Not here! These people are not to be fucked with, not a part of your jurisdiction. You will not, cannot—"
"I can't, but you can,” he says, practically jumping with joy. "You shall obtain the purest of souls for The Destroyer, offer it up to him as tribute for your blasphemous ways, and in return he will give your soul and you shall be free."
I blink as my eyes go wide. "He would give me my soul and set me free?"
He nods.
"Why?"
"Because you have, in fact, gone soft. You are a disgrace to all demon kind, the way your heart has changed toward the masses, the way you no longer take joy in your work. Do this, obtain the soul of a shifter or its mate, a vampyr or fae, any soul that resides on this land really would suffice, and present it to The Caster of Shadows as tribute and he shall restore your soul to you and set you free."
There has to be a catch. There has to be something he is not telling me. "And what do you get out of it?"
"I get to watch you squirm, watch the anguish and heartache it causes for you to take the soul of one you consider to be yourfamily.” He says the word family with so much hate, so much disgust I can practically see it in his silver eyes. "That image alone is worth forfeiting the one soul I've enjoyed torturing more than any other."
A year ago I would have agreed without a second thought, agreed without remorse or guilt but now... now I cannot even fathom something so heinous.
But I cannot tell him that outright, not if I ever want a chance to save my soul.
"Even if I agreed to do this, I couldn't. The fae queen still holds my name, my powers are all but void."
Now he does jump a little, which is so fucking weird to see, his seven-and-a-half-foot tall form bouncing around like an idiot, horns reflecting the moonlight, empty silver eyes full of glee. "The Destroyer has had words with his council and they worked out a way for you to perform the task despite your current circumstances. Consider it afreebie."
"And if I do not agree?"
He laughs, the two-toned voice cracking right along with the thunder. "It matters not, you simply have to decide whether you do it by choice or by force; if you receive your soul and freedom for the act, or a fate worse than death. It will happen one way or another, and I suggest you choose the former because you know what joy I get from the latter."
"But—"
"It is already done. You have no say, you simply have to choose. You will be ready with your answer in three days’ time or else I shall make the choice for you. Three days. That is when you will give me your answer and the clock will start to tick until you carry out The Caster of Shadows’ request."
Then he's gone.
Once again I'm left with a gaping hole in my chest and directives that I will never be able to atone for.
And that's all on top of the crushing heartache I feel over this shit with Frankie.
So many wicked games and I am fucking tired of playing.
Discoveries to Be Made
Four days later. August 31st.
Ilean my head against the window and sigh, fighting another set of endless tears that threaten to spill.
Surprisingly, it isn't one of my symptoms, a result of them flaring, or a mood swing that has me feeling like this. No, it's the fact that I haven't seen Zan in almost four days, not since he kissed me better than I have ever or will ever be kissed.
When I close my eyes I can still feel his lips against mine, feel the heat from his body, the weight of it as he pinned me to the wall.
I have never in my life been kissed like that, in a way that made me feel like the center of someone's universe, like I was the only thing that mattered to them. And the things he said to me before he kissed me? The way Zan claimed me as his? That just about shattered my heart, but for all the right reasons.
I wanted to kill Allie when she interrupted us, when her and Andrej showed up to make sure I hadn't lost power or something else super thoughtful. I shouldn't have wanted to kill her, but I did.
I wanted to punch both of them in the face and kick them out so Zan and I could get back to what we were doing, maybe finally act on our crazy chemistry and see if it was just as explosive between the sheets, which is why I got rid of them as quickly as possible.
But when I went to get Zan, to talk to him about why I told him to hide, and found him missing, well, my heart shattered for all the wrong reasons at that point.
