I watch until she's inside, though she can no longer see me. I watch as she searches the trees, as she closes her door and her shadow moves behind the curtains.
I watch until all movement stops and the lights go out one by one, until the smoke from her chimney is nothing but little wisps of gray, until the rain tamps it out completely.
And still I watch as if she'll somehow reappear, search for me as I have for her, find me as I never believed she would.
My light.
My light has found me once again and I can barely believe what my eyes have seen. Surely they play tricks on my fractured mind and broken heart.
But I'd know her anywhere.
A million lifetimes could pass and I'd still know my light anywhere, anytime in each one of them.
Her tiny body; the subtle curves and alabaster skin.
The raven blue hair, thick waves of silk, the fine strands sleek and glossy.
Her aquiline nose, the prominent cheekbones, her full pale pink lips, the beauty mark that sits just above them.
And those eyes, Christ those eyes that I will never forget. The rarest sapphire encompassed in powder blue, two beacons of light that have always lit my path. I see them every day when I fight for sleep, see them full of light and warmth.
Then I see them foggy and lifeless.
I blink away the image and try to hold on to this one, the moment when I saw my light in the flesh for the first time in over two hundred and seventy years.
I would know her anywhere, know her better than I know myself, and just as I cannot dispute my own wretched existence, I cannot dispute her magnificent presence either.
My light has returned to me.
But my joy is quickly replaced by terror because if my light has returned then—
I spin and take a swing as Andrej steps behind me, his naked form a mere few inches away, which barely saved him from my fist.
"Brother?" he grunts, chest heaving, hands on his hips while he tries to catch his breath.
We've been hunting for about two hours now and it turned into a game between the two of us, much like it used to when we were younger and full of piss and vinegar. A game I had to have won based on the prize I just discovered.
"I..." I blink and turn back to the tiny house, almost like a cabin on wheels attached to an old pick up truck that has seen better days. Hell, she even has the same goddamn dog. "I… I just..."
I motion with a numb arm toward it, Andrej's eyes following. His brow furrows and he stares at the cabin, takes a deep breath and waits.
Then it hits him.
"No."
Her scent is unmistakable, stronger than it was all those years ago and I know my dear friend will recognize it. All of them would. My light spent just as much time with Kai, Andrej, Henrich and Milos as I did, forged solid friendships with them and even earned a pet name they called her with so much affection.
Andrej knows her scent almost as well as I do and it is so thick in the air around us there is no denying it.
"It cannot be."
"I..." I cannot find words. Part of my search over these last few centuries has not only been for my grandfather but for my light.
There is a myth, a legend amongst vampires, that if one's mate should die prior to mating they will be reborn over and over again until they are found and the act is complete. The Maker was gracious enough at one point to allow for multiple chances at happiness despite the way She destroyed mine.
If they are murdered, killed in violence, then they are doomed to continue living and dying the way they once did over and over until their mate finds them, mates them, and rectifies the wrong against them. It is legend that because of the blood-bond, one cannot be free, not truly at peace until they have mated and if there are transgressions committed against them then it is only worse.
I have lived in a mixture of hope and fear each and every day that this myth is true because it would mean there was a possibility of finding my mate, my beautiful blue light once again, but it would also mean she has been living in a vicious cycle that I haven't been able to stop.
