That seemed to break Nina from the momentary daze. Nodding, she picked up Aliens.
“Are you in the mood for some grit?”
Seth chuckled.
“Always.”
They’d burrowed under one blanket, but Seth ensured she had the majority of the coverlet. He tried not to dwell on their shared warmth, or the fact that she’d definitely moved a little closer to her during the movie.
So much so, that their legs were basically touching.
Around twenty minutes into the movie, Nina leaned forward to pause it. Seth turned, wondering if she needed a glass of water, or some snacks.
“Did you need anything? I’ll go get it,” he started, but she shook her head.
There was something she needed to say, it appeared. Seth leaned back against the couch, watching her expectantly.
Then, “A part of me is glad that Carlos didn’t work out.”
“Why?”
She fidgeted with the end of the blanket, twirling it around her finger.
“I think if it became real…it would’ve scared me. I probably would’ve run away, or said that it was all a joke or something.”
“Why would you do that?”
A humourless chuckle escaped her lips.
“Little thing about me? I love love, but I’m a little terrified of it. God, Idreamof having someone love me back, of being with that perfect partner. But the truth is…I think I love too much.”
Her words struck him, and he was seized with a frustration that surprised him. Nina, thinking that she was too much? He turned his body, so he was facing her full on.
“Nina, come on. That’s ridiculous.”
But she just shook her head.
“I feel with my entire being. I literally can’t just love something a normal amount. Everything I love, I love with my everything. So when it comes to romantic love, what if that’s too much for the other person? Sometimes I’m scared it might be a burden to love me. Not because I wouldn’t love them back, but because I’d love them too much.”
He needed to get her to believe that everything she was saying was the furthest from the truth. Seth wasn’t great with words, not when it came to emotions. But he felt the right ones bubbling to his throat, before he comprehended them.
“Nina, look at me,” her head turned, her brown eyes greeting his own. He held onto them.
“It’d be a privilege to receive the kind of love you offer to give. The type that so many would fight for. And if it accounts for anything, seeing you so passionate about loving, convinces me that for others, it can happen. If love exists, then the person who would surely receive and be worthy of the greatest kind, would be you.”
She held his gaze a moment longer, and he felt that pull between them again, the thrumming in the air. The sense that this would be theperfectmoment to lean in, to capture her lips.
He swallowed, and glanced down, playing with the lint on the blanket.Coward.
“Seth, what made you believe that love doesn’t exist?” she asked, and the softness in her voice tempted him to spill himself raw. To tell her all his troubles, and lay safe in her comfort.
“When I was young, my parents separated. Long story short, they got back together. But all I remember are their fights. The things they said, the people they saw in between. I grew up watching their love fall apart and I just - it just took a toll on me,” he shrugged, trying to appear as if it wasn’t that big of a deal, “I guess I just think that I could end up like them, maybe. I don’t know.”
Warmth enveloped his hand, as her fingers wrapped around his. There was this deep sadness, an overwhelming sympathy in her eyes. As if grieving for that part of him.
“But youaren’tyour parents, Seth,” she whispered, “I hope you learn that. Learn to believe that.”
She hadn’t been surprised at the news.
