Page 68 of If Only


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He didn’t even get to voice these concerns, because Anya had turned to Jae, her smile stretched into a blissful smile.

“Babe, you absolutelypatheticloverboy,” she cooed, squeezing his cheeks.

“Shut up,you’redating this loverboy,” Jae responded, poking her sides.

Seth knew he’d lost them, even way before that point.

That night, Nina chose the movie. They’d had this agreement to each choose a movie on a certain night, and since they’d watched Seth’s pick the day before, it was Nina’s turn.

He was relieved that Nina enjoyed Mortal Kombat. Or at least, she constantly reassured him that she did. The film itself generated mixed reviews, so Seth had always put off actually watching it, but Nina insisted.

She was a fan of the game franchise itself, with her favourite character being the malicious Mileena. Seth made a mental note to himself that one day, he’ll invite Nina over and they’ll play Mortal Kombat together.

Tonight, Nina chose the movie Everything Everywhere All At Once, since it only recently became available on streaming. She’d already seen it when it came out with her family, but she loved it so much she didn’t mind watching it again.

Seth heard a lot of buzz around it, so he wasn’t unfamiliar with it. But what surprised him was the stir of emotion as the movie fared on. How drawn he felt to the characters on screen, and how it roused an odd feeling at his chest.

The love story between Michelle Yeoh and Ke Huy Quan, particularly, had his eyes moisten up. He never cried at movies. Maybe it was the fact that Nina’s voice had lingered in thebackground, making gentle commentary, and cooing at the romance herself.

“A love that transcends all universes. Now that’s - that’s the goal,” she’d murmured, “Oh, this scene just gets me everything.”

It was a montage of scenes between Michelle Yeoh and Ke Huy Quan, showcasing their love in multiple universes. One particular scene lingered on a moment between them, in the laundry room.

Then, Ke Huy Quan’s character declares, “In another life, I would’ve loved doing laundry and taxes with you.”

“Oh gosh,” Nina sighed.

In another life…

A pang rang through Seth, the sensation so visceral, so real that he closed his eyes. He swallowed, burying the abrupt wave of regret.

In another life, I would’ve never let you go, Nina,he thought.

When the film ended, Nina began to gush about what she loved about it. The narrative, its themes, the cinematography, the cast. She was always able to nitpick the goodness from everything.

The quote, however, echoed in Seth’s mind. It’s then that he needed an answer. The only one he would need.

“You really like that guy, don’t you? Like, romantically.”

Seth couldn’t help it. He didn’t want the truth. He couldn’t live without it.

There was silence.

Of course, Nina would’ve been caught by surprise.

Again, Seth said, “That guy we saw. Carlos.”

Then, there was a hesitant shift.

“Why, all of a sudden?” she asked, with a small chuckle.

But Seth didn’t feel like chuckling along, to conceal his feelings with humour, just this once.

“I care about you,” he murmured, “And I just…I wanna know.”

She must’ve sensed the serious tone in his voice, because she didn’t crack a joke about any of what he’d just confessed.

Instead, “I mean…yeah I do.”