She erupted into laughter, along with her friends, and the sound of it reverberated through his body. Created an earthquake.
It was on that Wednesday morning, at approximately 9:15 am, that Seth accepted it.
He liked Nina Mendez.
Truly, irrevocably. Irreparably.
For a while, for years.
But he could never admit it. Not even entirely to himself.
23
Now
“Well, duh,obviouslyyou’re not over her.”
A handful of fries had fallen from Jae’s mouth as he said this, and Seth resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Anya was perched beside him, her gaze full of such affection, you’d think that Jae didn’t look like an absolute mess.
Only two weeks ago, the two of them became official.
After a month of going on dates, of courting her as Jae called it, he finally asked Anya to be his girlfriend.
To which she replied, “Babe, come on, I’ve been your girlfriend for a while now.”
Seth would never admit it, but he tried to avoid the two of them together as best he could. They were stuck in a honeymoon orbit, a nauseating aura of cuteness that was too much for Seth’s heart right now.
“I still think it’s so sweet, and kind of ironic, how you fell for the girl who had a crush on you in high school,” Anya professed, as she pushed a fry through her lips.
“It’s such a sad coincidence, isn’t it?” Jae interjected, “Like, you really could’ve gotten with her so long ag-”
“Okay, okay, you’re not helping,” Seth groaned.
“Do you kind of hate yourself for not liking her back then?” Anya questioned once more, leaning forward against her elbows this time.
Seth’s lids dropped, shooting her a look as if to say what do you think.
“Yeah, I’m actually curious about that,” Jae interjected, leaning forward too, mimicking Anya’s movements. They exchanged looks of amusement, their gazes holding a second longer than normal and Seth resisted the urge to groan.
“What is there to be curious about? I missed my chance back then and I’m in danger of missing my chance with her now. I was….an idiot back then. I did return her feelings. But I was scared. I pushed her away on purpose,” his voice drifted a little toward the end, memories rushing back at him in an unpleasant, unwelcoming wave.
“Pushed her away…?”
Then, the memory ofthatday, when Seth had been sure he’d torn Nina away from him for good, had ensured her teenage heart was broken…
It was a series of memories, of images he hadn’t wanted to remember, had tried to block since reconnecting with her. But it came now, in torturous flashes that blinded him, that he had to close his eyes.
“Don’t worry. I was just a dickhead back then, and I might just be the dickhead that’ll never deserve her.”
He was met with silence, to no surprise. Until he felt a slap against his wrist. Jae was looking at him, his brows furrowed, caught between amusement and flabbergast.
“Don’t be so dramatic you drama queen,” he said, “You don’t even know if this person returns Nina’s feelings. So don’t give up, not yet. Don’t make the same mistake that younger you did.”
That was true. Seth didn’t know if Carlos returned Nina’s affections.
Did he still stand a chance?
Even so, was he even worthy of it?
