Page 5 of Conan
“I’m your VP, Kodiak. You can’t surprise me with things you know will get me riled up. She may not have accepted my claim on her yet, but for all intents and purposes, she’s mine according to our bylaws. That means she’s afforded the same privileges as Luna. She’s my home, Kodiak, and you know yourself what that means to me.”
“And even with my moon, I’d want to get every single scenario worked out with contingency plans, Conan. There’s no way I’m going to fuck this up for her, for you, or for the club, dammit all. I get where you’re coming from with the home statement, too. The club is still everything to me, but Luna is my top priority, then you, and then our brothers.”
“Same,” I advise. “I just hate it when she’s gripped in the throes of a nightmare, brother, because I can’t do a damn thing except hold her, then make sure the sheets are changed while she’s in a bath to settle herself. And that’safterI manage to wake her up. She’s exhausted right now, and the stress of these fuckers still living free and breathing easy isn’t helping her one bit. I know we don’t tell them club business, but if nothing else, I want to be able to reassure her that their time is coming.”
“It is, Conan, I promise you,” he replies.
And that’s a promise from him that I’m going to hold him to.
CHAPTER
TWO
DEMI
Lunaand I are sitting in the lounge chairs on her and Kodiak’s back deck, I’m sipping on a margarita and she’s downing water in order to stay hydrated. Texas heat is no joke, and it will easily zap what little energy you have, causing you to be lethargic if you aren’t paying attention to your body.
It’s even more important now than ever with her being pregnant. While I will never claim to be knowledgeable in that area, I’m sure that dehydration is something that she shouldn’t deal with and I make a mental note to make sure she gets some of the drinks with electrolytes in them as well.
We’re going through her upcoming release schedule for her planned and outlined books. One of them, the plot in particular, captures my attention and I glance over at her, raising my eyebrows.
“What?” she asks, shifting uncomfortably in her seat, avoiding my leering stare.
“What’s this, Luna? Are you seriously going to write this?”
“Absolutely,” she deadpans, keeping her fingers busy by peeling off the label of her water bottle.
“Luna, look at me, girl, and tell me why you want to write this,” I insist.
“Because it happens, Demi. Women need to be more aware and cautious of who is in their company as well as their surroundings, even when it comes to those they think they can trust,” she adamantly says in rebuttal, jabbing her pointer finger into the glass top of the table.
“It does happen,” I whisper, my past always coming back to haunt me no matter how many times I attempt to brush it under the rug. “I was so fucking ignorant and foolish.”
Guilt swamps me once again when I remember the night I’d rather forget. I should be able to trust my coworkers but sadly, I was mistaken.
“You weren’t!” she hisses, twisting around so she can see me. “You weren’t, Demi. You worked with this team day in and day out, you never would’ve suspected that they’d drug you, rape you, and threaten you. They earned your respect and it’s not your fault that they were wolves disguised in sheep’s clothing.”
“I should’ve known better, Luna.” I shrug my shoulders, my eyes glued to the plotline for ‘Broken Trust’. “The title is catchy. What’s the tagline going to be for this one?”
“A woman’s road to forgiveness,” she murmurs.
I snort, thinking there’s no way in hell I’ll ever find forgiveness for them. No way, no how. Which I voice to her and she reachesout, grabs my hand, and peers through my eyes—directly into my soul.
“Luna,” I whisper, fighting off tears. “Don’t.”
“You don’t have to forgive them for what they did to you, Demi, but you do need to forgive yourself. Put the blame where it belongs, on them. They were the wrongdoers, not you. Give yourself some grace, and look around you, find the strength of others to help you through that process. Hell, if it helps, get fucking angry at how they violated you. Not just physically but also emotionally, my friend. Youtrustedthem, Demi, and they took a big steaming shit on it. We love you, girlie. Always and forever.” Her words trail off toward the end as she wipes away the stray tears from her cheeks.
“Love you too, my Luna,” I choke out behind my silent sob. “I can’t promise absolution for myself, but I will try. For you.”
“No, Demi,” she argues. “Itallhas to be for you. Not for me, not for Conan, and not for the brothers, but for yourself. Do this for you, Demi. You deserve a future. A happy one.”
“I am happy,” I fib, something my life has been since the day I met her—an outright lie. I’ve faked every single smile outside of the ones I give her. I have one heck of a poker face, a mask I’ve worn since that horrid, traumatic day when my dad walked away from me after dropping me off on the sidewalk.
So easily discarded—thatshould be the ongoing punchline for my life.
“You’re not,” she disagrees. “But I’ll be damned if we don’t get you there.”
“You keep using the words‘we’and‘us’, Luna,” I point out, not wanting to drag anyone down into the pits of hell with me where I have a permanent address. I’ve resided there so long that I probably have a pile full of mail there waiting for me to pick up. That has my lips curling up slightly, imagining showing up to have the devil himself haul out a huge bag full of envelopes and shitty magazines.
