“She’s asleep.” Finding my wallet at the bottom of my handbag—thankfully on the coat hanger so I won’t forget it in the morning—I pull out my driver’s license. While they are looking at it and making notes, I go through the wooden hallway cabinet, which still has the scratched initials I carved in a pre-teen tantrum, to find one of the certified copies of the guardianship papers. I got tired of being asked to provide proof for school, medical, sport and everything else. Handing over the copy usually stops questions about “where are her parents” and “aren’t you too young to look after her?”
“We understand,” Officer Braham says, “But we still need visual confirmation.”
I hesitate, my pulse quickening. I know they’re just doing their job, but the thought of them seeing Sage while she’s asleep and vulnerable feels wrong.
“Can you not? Please?” I plead. “It was a nightmare. She has them most nights, and I’m sorry she disturbed the neighbors, but it was just a nightmare. She woke up scared and reliving the car accident. I know you are just doing your job, but she’s finally asleep.”
“Please don’t make this more difficult than it already is.” Officer Braham joins Officer Grisham in my living room. I’m feeling outnumbered and out of options. Can they decide toremove Sage from me just because of nightmares? “A noise complaint of screaming was made. You admit it was your sister. We need to see that she is unharmed.”
Reluctantly and knowing that they’ll either stand here all night until I comply, or they’ll make enough noise to wake Sage, I nod and motion for them to follow me. Her room is at the far end of the apartment, and when I push open the door, Sage is still curled up under the blankets where I left her. Luckily because it proves my point, or unluckily because she’s not sleeping calmly, her sleeping sobs can be heard from the doorway.
“Sage,” Officer Braham calls. “Sage? Are you awake?”
“What? You only said you needed to see her.” I immediately react, trying to shove them out of the way so I can close the door, but it’s too late.
Sage bolts upright, eyes open, and fear all over her face as her mouth forms a silent scream.
“Sage, it’s okay, I’m here.” I rush to her but she’s frozen in fear. “Could you back the fuck away?” I hiss over my shoulder. “The last time she saw police she’d woken up in hospital to be told about our parents.”
“We’re just doing our job.” Officer Grisham sounds defensive, but not apologetic. Part of me gets it. They are here to do an ugly job and I’m glad they turned up in response to screaming. I just need them to work with me and not make things worse.
“Then, with all full respect, Back. The. Fuck. Off.” Shit. I can’t speak to them like that, and I know it. Holding up my hand in partial surrender, I say softer, “I’ll let one of you do your job, but you have to let me do mine. I’m her sister and her guardian. Waking her up like this is not okay. Think about her—think about how she feels being woken in the middle of the night to see two male police officers.”
Officer Grisham leaves, but Officer Braham comes forward, face softer, and crouches beside the bed. “Hey, Sage, I’m OfficerBraham,” he says gently, his voice softer now, though still authoritative. “Can you tell me what happened? Are you okay?”
Sage’s eyes are wide and full of terror. The only thing going my way is that she is clinging to me. Surely, he has to see that my sister isn’t scared of me.
“Sage, sweetheart,” I say, trying to get her attention. “You had another nightmare, and the police want to know if you are safe. Are you okay?” I know how to communicate to get nods or shakes. Luckily, she nods.
“I need to hear her say it,” Officer Braham insists, and I let out a wry laugh. Seriously, it’s too early in the morning for this routine.
“Believe me, I’d give everything I own to hear her say anything,” I say quickly, trying to keep my voice even. “Sage hasn’t spoken since the accident. The only time she makes a sound is in her nightmares. That’s what the neighbors heard. I’m sorry, but there’s nothing I can do. The nightmares are getting worse.”
Officer Braham smiles empathetically and starts to stand. My relief at being believed is instant. I need to get these men out of my apartment and get Sage back to sleep so I can get maybe two or three hours before my day begins. But just as I have an ounce of hope, Sage gives out a loud whimper, her body begins to tremble, and she shoves me away. I know what it must look like, but she has the right to not be comforted and touched, so I back off, scooting on my ass until my back is against the wall.
“I’m here, Sage. I’m not going anywhere.” She looks from the officers to me and back again, grunting and sobbing. “Surely, you’ve seen enough. Please go.”
“I’m sorry, miss. Your sister looks distressed,” Officer Grisham says from the doorway. “If she’s having a medical episode, we need to …”
Keeping one eye on my sister, ready for any sign that she wants physical comfort, I jump to my feet and confront the clueless officer. Seriously? “Are you kidding me? Waking up to see police in her bedroom probably brought back bad memories. I told you she has nightmares. I told you not to wake her. You had a job to do, and you’ve done it. You can see she hasn’t been harmed, and she’s not in danger.”
Officer Brahams tries to walk his colleague backward towards the front door, but Officer Grisham only firms his stance. “You’re very young to be her guardian, and I need to ensure that it was granted with full knowledge of her medical issues. I’m going to need to speak with someone—someone who knows her history.”
“Again, are you kidding me? It’s the middle of the night?” My chest tightens as I look to Officer Braham for support, but he’s no help. Talk about good cop, bad cop. Luckily for me, all of Sage’s specialists have assured me that they’ll take my call at any time because they trust that I will only act in my sister’s best interests,andbecause they understand that I’m doing the best that I can. Torn between glaring at the police and sending looks of love to Sage, I unlock my phone and fumble with the screen. “I’ll call her specialist. You can talk to him. He’s been helping her for months.”
I dial the number, praying he answers. On the sixth ring, a sleepy, “Emma? What do you need and how can I help?”
“Dr. Allen, thank you for taking my call.” I put the call on the speaker because I don’t want the officers to think I have anything to hide. “It’s been a tough night with Sage’s nightmares and one of the neighbors called the police. They’re here, and they’re …”
“I’m on my way,” he interrupts. “I was getting up in an hour for the gym, so consider this an excuse to drink more coffee to get me through the day.”
“You don’t have to …” I start, but even to my ears, my protest is weak.
“Nonsense. I was going to see her next week anyway. Don’t let them intimidate you. I’ll be there in an hour. Now let me talk to whoever is in charge.”
I hand my phone over to Officer Grisham who takes it off speaker and heads into the living room. Feeling helpless, I can only wait for the conversation to end while watching Sage hug her knees, and sob softly.
“It’s okay, Sage,” I say, trying to hold back my anger. She’d been asleep and these assholes had to wake her … are just doing their job, I correct my thoughts. They are just doing their job. “Dr. Allen is talking to the officers. You’ve done nothing wrong. I’ve done nothing wrong. It’s just a big misunderstanding, and Dr. Allen will fix it. You’re okay, I’m okay.”
