Page 6 of The Moments You Miss
“I don’t want to leave, but I’ve gotta head home. You’ve always got my number, you know I’ll always be here. Cause that’s what friends are for.”
The two of us had climbed up the tree and spent what seemed like an eternity just sitting and talking. I hope we can find time to spend like this, even when he’s away at college, and I’m still stuck here. Even when I go off to Chicago for school— I mean, if Hazel and I get in. I want nothing more than to just escape this town with all the memories that exist here. Cameron’s not going far for school, just a couple hours south in Detroit.
I think it just hit me that I’m gonna miss him when he leaves. I stop and turn around to him, his body just a shadow in the dark.
“Don’t forget me, Cameron Curtis.” I walk away before he replies.
Chapter 4
Clit Master 8000
Leyla - 24, Present Day
This time of year is always really hard for me.
Family sits heavily in my mind as I take a sip of my iced chai at the little coffee shop on the corner. October is in full swing, and the leaves are a myriad of reds, yellows, and browns. The bustling town of Maplewood, nestled in the heart of Northern Michigan, is where I now reside.Again. I’m in my final year of school, and after what was a spectacular meltdown, I decided a reset was what I needed.
Things are getting difficult again. Although they haven’t found the person responsible for my parent’s death, Detective Alexandra, someone whom I have become rather close to throughout my life, called me the other day. She told me that they had received a new lead that may help the investigation. Hazel had told me to stay away, from Detective Alex, but I know staying inChicago was only gonna go poorly for me. Home is calling, and that’s where I am.
I know three things for certain:
1. I am still physically alone.
2. I have one person in my life who would be there for me no matter what.
3. This town is my last chance to make sense of my past, and my last chance to really figure out who I am.
Each corner holds a memory that could bring me to my knees. I sit in this little coffee shop, just as I had every single day since returning home. There is that one part of me that I know there’s something calling to me here. I don’t know what it is yet.
Hazel, my absolute best friend, and I are on our daily phone call, where she fills me in on all the gossip I am now missing out on. I could practically hear her rolling her eyes, trying her best to be excited about literally anything.
“Haze, I’m gonna need more than just ‘they were talking’,” I laugh softly. My face relaxes as I hear my best friend’s laugh echo mine. I needed this. Hazel is the one person who makes the insanity that is my life feel like it has an ounce of normalcy.
“Do you want me to tell you that Denise and Eric fucked in the locker room while her brother, who we know is Eric’s best friend, was in the shower in the next room over? He walked in and fully saw his best friend balls deep in his sister? Because that happened.”
I spit out my tea, completely shocked by the words that spill from Hazel’s mouth. “I’m sorry,what?!Girl, you’ve been holding out on me!”
Hazel’s soft laugh fills a hole that has been slowly taking shape in my chest since leaving Chicago, a silence that has grown from the distance between us. Leaving Chicago wasn’t something that I ever thought I was going to do, but as much as I thought it would be my freedom, it just wasn’t. There is a part of me that was missing.
Hazel has always been the person who knows me better than anyone else in the world; my best friend, my other half. We are inseparable and I rely on her constant presence more than I care to admit. We met in group therapy when I was ten, and we’ve been inseparable ever since. We were practically raised together, and she was with me for what I considered the most formative years of my life.
I let out a sigh, briefly mourning my old life. Hazel had convinced me, after an argument that I let go on far too long, to move back to Maplewood, and give myself a chance to get some answers to questions that I am and have been too afraid to know.
“LeyLey? Are you doing okay?” I can hear the evident concern in Hazel’s voice. I fall silent for a moment, unsure how to even start that conversation.
“I-I’m managing,” I finally stammer out. I know I can’t lie to my best friend, but right now, this is the best I can do. This is all that’s left inside my broken soul.
“Say the word, Ley, and you know I’m just a flight away. I mean, we’re almost finished here; we have a year left.” Hazel paused. “Please, I mean it, Ley. You’d tell me if something was wrong?”
“Obviously. Listen, if I’m being honest, I think I need some me time with my Clit-Master 8000 and I’ll be good as new.” Ihesitate, then sigh, anxiety rushing through me for no reason. I tell myself it’s because I just mentioned my favorite sex toy in a quaint coffeeshop. “Haze, I’m gonna let you go, but… same time tomorrow?”
The tone of my voice is so desperate for this constant in my life. With how I feel that everything is crumbling around me, I’m pretty positive that if she doesn’t call me tomorrow, I’ll most certainly have some sort of panic attack.
“Of course. Love you, Ley.”
“Love you, too.” I end the call and put my phone away, standing up to order my third tea of the day.
I know I have to get this essay finished. Grabbing my cup, I put my headphones back on, blasting Ethel Cain, and melt away into my own little world. Hours pass and the sun begins to set. I type away on my laptop, my one-track mind knowing I will have to call it quits soon, but I keep going.
