Page 22 of The Moments You Miss
“Are we just gonna stand here?” Hazel teases, breaking the silence. Her eyes are bright as she continues, walking over to the kitchen set up. With flourish, she picks up a plate and screams as she chucks it against the wall. And I mean reallyscreams. As if it had been her thrown against that wall and shattered into pieces upon impact. It makes my heart ache as I realize even though she stays far more composed than me, Hazel probably needs this outlet just as much.
“That’s for the man who killed my dad.” Her chest heaves with heavy breaths, and she looks at us with eyes that gleam with relief. And suddenly, the rest of us are eager to join in.
Simon grins and takes his bat to an old computer, “T-This is for t-the b-bitch who cheated on m-me!”
I smirk as I take the sledgehammer to the coffee pot on the counter. “For the person who keeps leaving me flowers!” I swing with all my might and let out a laugh as the thing goes flying. All hell breaks out as the four of us start throwing and breaking the things around the room.
There’s not much speaking, just grunts and screams as the hour passes by. I turn to Cameron who’s going to town on a table, he’s got this look in his eyes that almost scares me. He’s yelling as he yields a metal baseball bat that has a hollowthudwith every blow. The words go unheard, but I realize he’s not really here rightnow. That’s what that look is— he’s in another place and another time. And that table isn’t just some table in a junk room. It’s a table somewhere in his memory.
My heart wrenches seeing the look on his face, I just know he’s seeing someone– and I probably know who. His dad might be dead, but he’s still got Cameron in his deadly grasp. The other two are staring now, and the room gone completely still other than Cameron and that bat.
“I got this…” I whisper, as Haze and Simon look at me with concern, and I give a soft smile. They know his story, they know what Cameron went through, there’s no judgement in their eyes as they nod in acknowledgment.
He’s helped me so much, and now is the time to return the favor.
I slowly walk towards him. That thousand yard stare is still dominating his face and his voice is growing hoarse even though he continues to scream. “Cam–” my voice is gentle but loud. “Cameron, look at me.”
When he doesn’t, I take a few more steps towards him in hopes of gaining his attention. I need to get him out of whatever hell he’s in right now, that way we can work to calm him back down.
His head snaps up to me, and he bares his teeth, an almost animalistic growl escapes his lips. “Baby– look at me, you’re not there– you–” I don’t even have a moment to react, his hand is around my throat as I’m shoved against the wall.
“Cameron!” Simon yells charging towards me, but I’m warding them off.
“No–No, it’s okay… I’ve got this.” My hands wrap around Cameron’s wrist, his hand presses my throat but not enough to cause any pain. His eyes are almost unseeing looking past the present moment, a gleam in them, but I’m not scared.
Cameron’s chest heaves as he doesn’t move off of me, my voice is confident and steady. “Cameron, baby– it’s not real. Your dad is dead. Your dad isn’t here. He can’t hurt you anymore.” His eyes connect with mine, as his hand tightens ever so slightly, his breaths slowly starting to calm. “Good, come back to me Cameron, come back to your Cherry. This isn’t you, this isn’tyou.”
I emphasize the last word, hoping to get through to him that I know my Cameron wouldn’t do this. This is something that his father has caused to be alive in him, but it doesn’t mean thatthisis who he is.
I’m gently rubbing the back of his wrist with my fingers, as I keep repeating that mantra back to him, when I feel it. His fingers slightly loosen and I can sense the warmth returning to him. “There you are,” I whisper as I see the light slowly fill Cameron’s eyes again. They instantly widen and his hand releases my throat as he backs away quickly.
“Leyla, I-I’m so sorry…” He whispers as he looks at the three of us in the room, his eyes roving over us as he realizes what he’s just done.
“Cameron, it’s okay– you’re oka–”
“No,” Cameron interrupts, as he looks around once more. “I’m so sorry– I–” And then, he runs out of the room. I hurry after him, but by the time I get out to the lobby, he’s out the door and speeding away.
I walk back inside, finding Hazel and Simon talking in hushed tones to each other, their eyes connecting with mine when I close in on them. “He– He left…” I whisper, sounding almost defeated. Shit, I guess I am defeated— defeated that I couldn’t help him the way he’s helped me so many times before.
“I can drive you guys home,” Simon offers— a little too quickly for my liking. Maybe I’m being judgmental, but I swear he sounds rather chipper considering what just occurred.
I look at Hazel, and she sighs, knowing we really don’t have an option. “That would be great,” Hazel replies begrudgingly. I want to screamnoat the top of my lungs, grab Hazel’s hand and run away; my childhood didn’t teach me much but I at least paid attention to the after-school programs enough to not get in a car with a stranger. But, we’re trapped forty-five minutes away from Maplewood, so this is our best option aside from rideshare. And I suppose that is getting in a car with a stranger, and at least this one we vaguely know.
And yet, there’s a knot in my stomach that just won’t loosen. Something in me is begging me not to go with Simon, even if he seemed harmless. “We can call a car, really. It’s no problem! I don’t wanna put you out,” I try to offer.
“No, really, it’s f-fine. I don’t mind. We all live there anyway. Maplewood, I mean,” Simon insists almost nervously as he puts on his awkward smile.
I look at Hazel and shrug. “Yea, let’s go.” I relent.
The three of us make our way to his truck. The ride home is quiet, and I’m honestly grateful for that. I text Cameron, needing him to know that I’m here and that if he needs anything to call me. Subconsciously, I run my hand over my neck, I can’t tell if it’s hotfrom everything I’m feeling or if Cameron left a mark. Hazel scoots toward me, linking our arms and pulling me close.
“You okay?” she asks, her voice barely above a whisper.
I fight back the tears that threaten to fall and open my mouth before snapping it shut, truly not knowing how or what to feel right now. I nod weakly, though I don’t believe it even as I confirm.
A nervous energy is building in my stomach, worried that if I don’t smooth this over with Hazel, she would hate him forever— or worse. And I don’t want my best friend and my— my what? boyfriend seems too eager—my Cameronto be at odds.
Words are falling out of my mouth with little thought, and I pray I can at least string together something mildly coherent. “I’m mad at him, but also I just want to make sure he’s okay. He would never hurt me, he’s not like that. I hope you believe me when I say that.” My voice is hoarse as I look at her. “Are you staying?” My eyes pleading and she frowns.
