“Nobody thinks this is your fault, son. Maybe it’s time we finally put this feud to bed. Some good can come of this.”
“Mum blames me.” I press my palms into my eyes, trying to get rid of the tears before they fall. It’s embarrassing how at twenty-four, I still care this much about getting my mum’s approval. My dad pulls me into a hug and squeezes me tight.
“Don’t tell her I said this, but your mum isn’t always right. She was raised to be an Alpha, and sometimes she forgets to be a mother first,” he says quietly before letting me go. I fight the urge to scoff at his use of the word ‘sometimes’. I don’t think she’s ever put being a mother before being an Alpha.
Over the course of the next week, it’s basically Groundhog Day. I get up early to make the long commute to work, teach my classes and then come back to the safe house to spend the evenings with Jasper and Jade. Jade seems reasonably content, but Jasper gets progressively agitated as the week goes on.
Every evening, my mum calls, and we get the same update. She’s been meeting with Alpha Kelly every day, and they’re coming up with some sort of peace agreement to put an end to this. I should be relieved, but my chest is tight with anxiety.
I didn’t speak to Cee for a few days, but then I realised the ‘space’ I’d been asking for wasn’t really making me feel any better. We agreed that for the time being, we’ll talk, just not about what’s happening with our packs. It’s mostly small talk, telling each other how our work day went, but the somewhat tense contact feels better than none at all.
As I’m chopping carrots and celery to make a bolognese for dinner, I spot Jas pacing in the hallway, so I pop my head out.
“What’s up?” His head shoots up at the sound of my voice.
“Mum called. She says she needs me to join her for the meeting with Alpha Kelly tomorrow, but she didn’t tell me any more. Something feels off, though,” he explains, and the inner turmoil I've felt over these ‘peace talks’ makes my heart rate spike.
“It makes sense for you to be there. You’re the next Alpha, after all.” He nods but looks no less unsettled. “Why don’t you go out for a run? Just being in the same house as you is making me tense. I’ll be here with Jade.” For a moment, he looks like he’s going to argue with me on it, but he knows it’s for the best that he lets off some steam. Jas rarely sits still for longer than five minutes; a week inside the house is like trapping him in a tiny hamster cage.
The following day is a Sunday; rugby training is cancelled because the field we use has flooded, so I get a lie-in. By the time I get up to make coffee and breakfast, Jasper has already left for the meeting.
Jade and I enjoy a full English breakfast courtesy of my dad stopping by with more groceries yesterday, and once we’ve eaten, I clear up the dishes.
I manage to kill a few hours with more marking, then making lunch, and then with nothing else to do and no word from Jasper or my mum, I join Jade in the living room while she binge-watches the latest series ofAlways Sunny.I keep checking my phone even though it’s on vibrate, as though through sheer will alone, I’ll receive a message from my brother. On the hundredth time of checking, I notice my phone isn’t connected to the wifi,and there’s no signal here, so I wouldn’t have received anything anyway. I quickly reconnect and get two messages through immediately.
Jas:I’m really sorry Nix, I’ll explain properly when I get home but this isn’t what I wanted for you.
Cee:Please, you can’t go through with it. I’m begging you Fee, please don’t do this!
Don’t go through with what?
Sixteen
March 2021 - One Year Ago
Connor Kelly
Idon’t know why I’m even here. He signed the agreement. He has promised to marry my sister. I wish I hadn’t agreed to meet him here; this barn holds too many memories. This is where we had sex for the first time. Where we said I love you for the first time. I suppose it’s a fitting venue for getting my heart broken for the first time, too.
When Niamh came home a few days ago looking alarmingly pale, she dropped the biggest bombshell of my life on me. In the wake of hearing about the plot against Jade and the baby, instead of retaliating, Alpha Campbell met with my da, and they decided enough was enough.
They had meetings every day for over a week, putting together an agreement to put an end to this asinine turf war. The hours I must have spent over these last four years, wishing for thisvery moment, desperate for peace between our packs so Fee and I could finally be together out in the open. And now, that same peace agreement I’ve longed for is what will break us apart for good.
Phoenix and Niamh are engaged.
The wedding is set to take place in a few days, and then they’ll move to the Yorkshire territory and start to build a pack of their own. If this goes ahead, not only will I lose the love of my life, I’ll lose my twin sister too. She won’t be part of our pack anymore, and I definitely can’t stomach watching her build a life with the man who was supposed to be mine.
When I shift and open up the plastic storage box we keep spare clothes in, I choke up seeing Fee’s big threadbare uni hoodie I always wear. I bypass it and dig out one of my old jumpers from the bottom. Next, I shove on some jogging bottoms; at this point, I have no idea who they belong to because we’ve been sharing these clothes for years.
Fucking years.
Sinking to my knees, I couldn’t stop the heaving sobs that escape me if I tried. I’m still hiccuping and covered in snot when Fee pads into the barn on all fours. He looks into the box and picks up his uni hoodie with his mouth, dropping it into my lap and nudging me with his head.
“It’s yours,” I whisper. Fee shifts and dresses in silence.
“It’s your favourite, you have it,” he says softly, sitting down opposite me.
“Don’t. Give me. This. Hoodie like. It’s some. Consolation prize.” I should be embarrassed by the way my sobs interrupt every other word, but I’m too exhausted and too broken to care.
