Jade nods her head and absently strokes a hand over her baby bump while Jasper sits with his brow furrowed.
“Who isshe?” His eyes narrow in suspicion, and I don’t miss how he emphasises the word she.
“I can’t tell you, okay? But it’s over. I don’t expect you to understand, but I need you to believe I have a good reason for not telling you who it is.”
My stomach lurches when I say it’s over. Is it over? I don’t know how we’ll move past this, but I get a very real searing pain in my chest when I even contemplate not being with Cee anymore.
“I’m so sorry, Jade; this is all my fault.”
“You weren’t to know, love. Honestly, I can’t help but think nobody was. Alpha Kelly couldn’t have even known.”
“What makes you say that?”
“Tensions between us and his pack are the same as they’ve always been, but he has a good relationship with my dad’s pack in Northumbria. He wouldn’t risk that. And honestly, I know his pack is enemy number one to you guys, but he’s a good friend of my parents, and he’s always seemed like a good man to me.”
Her explanation makes sense, and I feel some relief wash over me. I’m smart enough to understand I’ve been raised with a very biased view of Alpha Kelly and his pack. I can’t imagine anyone horrible could have raised Connor to be the way he is, though. When I met with Cee earlier, Niamh was already telling their dad about it all, so it feels safe to assume Jade will be out of danger for the time being.
Cee:I’m so sorry. Can I call you?
Cee:My da is dealing with Mikey, nothing bad is going to happen to Jade, I promise.
Cee:Please don’t shut me out. I know I fucked up but I love you.
Cee:I understand if you need some time, but please tell me you’re ok?
I had left my phone in the car while I was talking to Jasper and Jade; I hadn’t meant to leave him stressed out. When I step back into the house, Jasper is ending a call.
“Any news?” I ask.
“That was Mum. She’s spoken to Alpha Kelly, and they’re meeting tomorrow. She says there’s no immediate threat, but for Jade to stay here with at least one of us until everything has been ironed out.” I nod and let out a deep breath.
“I’m meant to be coaching this weekend; I can come straight back after, though.”
“It’s fine. I can be here and work from home next week if need be.” I decide then that I’ll come back afterwards and stay here regardless. I owe it to them after causing all this mess.
As I watch Jasper sit back down on the sofa, resting a hand protectively over Jade’s bump, I wander down the hallway to one of the guest rooms to give them some space.
Me:I can’t call you but I’m ok. I love you, but I need to make my family a priority right now. Give me some time to process all this x
When I see the message go immediately from ‘delivered’ to ‘read’, I almost laugh. Three little dots appear within seconds.
Cee:I understand. I love you. I’ll wait to hear from you x
I sigh, because if Cee does, in fact, wait to hear from me, I’ll be extremely surprised. It actually pisses me off how much I tip-toe around him when he needs space, and yet if he’s anxious, I have to provide all the reassurance required. Sometimes, I wish I got to be the unreasonable one. I want him to learn that I get to have space too when I need it. And I think I need it? I’m honestly not sure if I’m asking for space because it’s what I think Ishouldneed, what Idoneed, or if there’s a part of me that’s punishing him for letting me down. It’s probably a combination of all three.
I hate how even when I’m angry with him, he’s the person I want to comfort me. He’s the person I want a hug from and the person I want to vent to. The person I want to reassure me it’s all going to be okay.
After what feels like ten hours of marking but was probably closer to three, I hear the front door open and my dad’s voice echoing from the hallway. I head out of my room to say hello. He’s got a big shopping bag in each hand that I take from him to go and put away in the kitchen. I take a quick glance into the bags to see what I’ll be cooking for us tonight. Chicken thighs, potatoes, and some root vegetables. I’ll probably roast it all.
“Are you staying for dinner?” I ask him as I walk back into the lounge. He shakes his head.
“No can do. Just popping by with supplies. I need to pick up Alfie from his rugby practice,” he explains. Alfie has aged out of the team I coach, so now my dad has to ferry him around.
My dad follows as I go back into the kitchen to prepare dinner and shuts the door behind him.
“How’re you holding up?”
“Shouldn’t you be asking Jasper and Jade that question? It’s my fault, after all.” He gives me his soft dad eyes. The ones that never fail to make me well up if I’m already feeling like shit.
