Oh, shit. I fucked up."I see." I stared at my feet, crossing one over the other and contemplating the implications of thatinformation. "You're worried that a partner would find out we are married and not want anything to do with you."
"Would you?" she asked incredulously. "It's a long shot that someone like me would find love in the first place. Add that into the mix and," she threw up her hands, "shit confetti."
"What is shit confetti?" I asked with another blip of humor.
"Like a confetti canon over my life, but it's shit." She said that with a totally straight face, so I tried not to laugh.
"Okay. So, you have a shit confetti life. But it's not a 'long shot' that someone would want to date you, Ara. You're beautiful and smart, and you work harder than anyone I know. Those are all rare qualities any man or woman would love to have in a partner."
Her mouth twisted to the side wryly. "You know what my hard work has earned me?"
"A degree?" I guessed blithely.
"Perpetual virginity." Her look dared me to find something optimistic about that.
I was too shocked to take up the gauntlet. "You… you're not."
"I am. I was so focused on escaping Mom and Dad, and then getting through school, and then saving the ranch, I just," she shrugged, "didn't."
"You just didn't," I repeated in disbelief.
"Nope." She arched one brow. "Still think I'm a catch—a married virgin with debt and bills to my name?"
It was really hard to get past the shell shock of that pronouncement. Arabella carried herself like an accomplished woman inallareas of her life. She didn't act like a virgin, although, the more I thought about it, the more I had to wonder what I expected a virgin to act like. It wasn't like virginity was a personality trait.
"Okay," I exhaled, and my breath misted the vision of her bemused expression. "Yeah, that's a right hook. Give me a second to process that."
She huffed out a laugh, looking forward again and leaning down on her elbows. "It was stupid to hold onto the pipe dream of love and marriage and a family. You might have done me a favor, really."
"No," I replied immediately. "Ara, you can still have those things. They just might look a little… different."
"Sure," she said sardonically.
Guilt stabbed me in the chest a good twenty times before I could find the breath to respond. "I'm sorry, Bee."
"Do you still love that I hate you?" she asked with a crooked smile.
"Yes," I replied without hesitation. "Your fury is delightful. I can't help it. Your face gets pink, and your lips do this." I pulled in my mouth, forming an exaggerated, thin line. With a lisp, I said, "Like a gopher."
She pushed me off balance with one strong shove. "You are the worst."
Chuckling, I grabbed her hand and righted myself, tugging hard enough to slide her closer to me. I spun us so her back was to the railing and I towered over her. Still clasping her cold hand in mine, I asked, "How can I make it right? You're stuck with me, now. You might as well use me."
Arabella got a funny look on her face. She took me in, glacial eyes skimming my face, my neck, and then down to my chest. When she looked up again, a fierce determination hardened her expression. "You want to make it up to me? Really?"
"I do," I said truthfully. "Maybe I bungled this—maybe you would have made different choices if I'd included you. I don't know. But tell me how to help, and I'll do my best."
Her mouth pulled to the side for a second. Then, she said, "Take my virginity."
Chapter ten
Arabella
Spencer delighted in pissing me off, but Ilivedfor his shocked face. It wasn't easy to do; I could count on one hand the number of times I had left him truly speechless. This was one of those moments. His jaw went slack, and his eyebrows did their best to reach his dark hairline. Despite my despair over the situation, I found myself biting down a smile.
Spencer shimmied a finger in his ear before peering at me incredulously. "I feel like I misheard you just now."
"You didn't," I replied, my heart galloping suddenly. "I want you to fuck me." It was an absurd proposition, especially given how irate I was with him for tampering with my life like this. It was even more preposterous because he wasn’t attracted to me, and we'd never so much as flirted in all the years we'd known each other.
