“Then you came back. Dagger to my neck, I was simply too happy that you’d returned to care. In my excitement, I could never imagine you’d actually try to take my life. You drew blood, but I held onto the hope that you hadn’t become so lost in her madness. Then Rori came in and I knew, Goddess hear me, Iknewmy brother wasn’t lost. I saw the fracture in your expression, the tremor in your gaze. I saw what she did to you before the effects had time to take hold. It had been instantaneous. And with her, nothing could make me think for an instant that you wouldn’t find yourself. That I’d finally have my brother back, even if he was scarred by a dark past.” The corner of his mouth twitched. His nostrils flared. “I just never imagined how desolate and black your past could be that you’d do something so…unforgivable as to stab the king of our Fae realms in the back to give that crazy whore the power of the crown and facilitate the destruction she caused. The upheaval of the Fae realms. Grison’s movement would never have come about had you left her in exile, where she fucking belonged. You wouldn’t have your death warrant signed and sealed had you left her in the human realm, as a mortal.”
Cael released a shaky breath, hastily wiping a stray tear from his cheek.
“What hurts me the most, though, is what this will do to Rori. My pain aside, she is your soul mate, Thaddeus, and she’s inevitably going to lose one of the Goddess’s most precious blessed gifts any of us could hope to receive in our lifetime.”
“If you believe for a moment I haven’t considered the pain my past will cause her, you’re wrong. ’Tis why I said I’ve naught to offer her in this life. ’Tis why, despite my own desires, I’ve tried to keep her away, make her loathe me. ’Tis why I shall never share a blood bond with her and make her endure lifetime after lifetime of emptiness and desolation. Reincarnation doesn’t occur for the Fae, and I would never curse her to live an eternity of lives, searching for the completion she knows only with me.”
Cael tipped his head, his eyes narrowing to accusatory slits. “Do you believe she won’t suffer in her next life? Having crossed you in this life?” He scoffed. “While you’ve been healing these last few days, I’ve reconnected with Shaye and Rihanna, and I’ve spent time with Moira and Bryce. Bryce, who was murdered in his past life after bonding with Rihanna. He bore the scar of their blood bond in this life as a birthmark on his hand and suffered nightmares of his past with Rihanna from the time he was a child in this rebirth. Their bond followed him through death and into this life.”
That unnerved him, the mere thought of Rori carrying the burden of loneliness through each reincarnation without ever understanding the significance.
“There will be no blood bond, Cael. ’Tis the least I can do to spare her any suffering in the future.”
“And who’s to say that’ll be enough to protect her from strife?” His lips pulled back as he hissed, “How could you do what you did when you knew that bitch wasn’t youranamcara? That there was a chance you’d one day come across the one you were meant to spend the rest of your life with?”
Thaddeus sighed with a resigned shrug. “I fancied myself in love with her, only to learn how blinded I had been by so much.”
Cautiously, he reached forward, toward Cael’s hand. When his brother didn’t pull away, he gently took his hand and squeezed. Cael’s expression shattered. He witnessed his brother’s vulnerability in the quiver of his chin and the fierce battle to maintain his composure.
“There is no changing the past, Cael. Naught I can do can make up for what I’ve done. I have accepted my fate, only to have the Goddess complicate matters. ’Tis why I once said this would be a lesson learned.”
“The Goddess wouldn’t be so cruel. At least not to Rori, and I believe, deep in my heart, not to you either.”
“Don’t allow yourself false hope. I don’t.”
He leaned forward only to have Cael throw himself into Thaddeus. His arms wrapped fiercely around Thaddeus, and Thaddeus relinquished any and all restraint to embrace his brother. Two centuries had passed since he last held his brother in any sort of embrace. As fulfilling as it was, it opened another door to a new regret.
“I’ll hold onto every ounce of hope, Thad. I’ll hold hope for you and me and Rori. I’ll hold all the hope in the universe if it’ll keep you from dying.” Cael’s fingers fisted in the linen at his back. “I’ve been without my brother for far too long. I’m not willing to lose you again.”
24
Day Three.
Rori placed a third stone on the table, a marker of time passed. Three days. The first day, she had spent with Cassy, and had been joined by Rihanna late in the afternoon. The second day, Rihanna introduced her to her soul mate, Bryce, a human turned Fae without any outward resemblance of the Fae—no pointy ears or magical powers. She had also had the opportunity to meet two additional Fae women, Aspen and Killeny, and spent time in the kitchen and touring the enormous castle.
No one spoke of Thaddeus. No one hinted as to where he might be. No one offered any information about his condition, as if to speak his name was taboo and breaking it would unleash a curse within the marble and gilded walls of this immaculate monstrosity of a home. She couldn’t be bothered with the details of the place other than stand-out features—the waterfall that served as a main focal point, as well as the colorful grotto the fall poured into, or the open-air corridors, the massive expanse of gardens along the front of the landscape and the shimmering river thatencased the castle—because the persistent ache in her chest had become overwhelming, consuming her attention more and more with each hour, each day. The throbbing light inside her body, the thread that faded in darkness as it sought its connection, remained bright and alive, but flailed in an endless void.
Day Three.
“I don’t know how much longer I can go on like this,” she told her reflection in the full-length mirror. She mindlessly rubbed between her breasts, trying to ease the pain that blossomed unexpectedly whenever Thaddeus invaded her thoughts, which had become more and more persistent. She understood why Rihanna tried to occupy her days, because when she was alone, she sank into endless sadness being away from her Faery man. She didn’t try to fool herself into believing that their next encounter would be a honeymoon. There were many questions she had for him, many of which no one seemed interested in or inclined to answer when she brought them up, but the sympathy in their eyes tugged on her growing despair.
Even Cael, with his eagerness to provide all the information about his brother as possible in hopes of convincing her to give him a chance remained uncharacteristically withdrawn.
“Had anyone told me I’d yearn for a man after all I’ve been through, I would’ve laughed at the absurdity. And yet, here I am, hurting because he’s not here with me.”
Conversing with her image had become a comfort. Today, as she struggled to figure out how to strap on an intricate black dress, she found more comfort in her reflection than ever. Cassy had been holed up with Cael since yesterday evening, not providing much insight as to why Cael seemed off. She had been left alone for the night, taking to bed early.Nightmares woke her several times during the night, and it took long stretches of time for her to fall back to sleep.
When she failed to snap the fastener in place, she groaned and clawed at the dress until it pooled around her feet.
“God, I’m not cut out for this shit.”
She grabbed the towel she’d cast onto the sofa and tucked it around her as a knock echoed in the room. Her heart suddenly threatened to fly from her chest and her stomach did a tilt that left her weak. Her skin flushed with anticipation.
Day Three.
Has he finally come?
“Come in,” she called, clearing her throat when her voice cracked. She started toward the door, her pace picking up once she cleared the sofa, and had made it halfway when the door opened.
