Darkness curled, cold and deadly, in his chest. “Rori was targeted by Grison. I was left with no choice but to use magic to protect her.” He took another drink. “To protect my brother and Cassy. Those measly Fae bastards used illusion magic to weaken me before the true ambush. Between Cael and myself, I believe we cut down eight men. I had already removed nine the eve prior when they came for Rori.” With a shake of his head, he scowled. “And shestilltook a blade in her back to save me when I accepted my fate.”
“Being gifted with youranamcarais complicated, Thaddeus. The desire to protect goes both ways.” Shaye shifted, turning away from the outdoors and back to the room. “I’ve spoken with Cael. He explained everything to me, from his perspective. How could you hold a blade to your own brother’s throat?”
“’Twas more a strategy of intimidation. I wouldn’t have followed through with an order as absurd as killing my own brother for any movement. I was attempting to unravel Grison’s intentions, investigating my brother’s lifestyle, and learning what restrictions were placed upon my magic in those first couple of days. Everything changed when Rori stepped into Cael’s home that eve. I didn’t realize it immediately, I hadn’t wanted to, but Cael knew she would be the one to save me from myself.”
“A lost soul can provide naught for another until ’tis found.”
Thaddeus pushed off the balustrade and rolled out his stiff shoulders. “’Tis cruel, for she came too late. All I can do is hope to keep her safe and protect her heart from the pain she’ll suffer when I’m no longer here.”
“What I would suggest, if I may, is that you cherish thistime with her and leave her with good memories she can hold tight to when she’s alone. Cease your attempts to push her away. She deserves heranamcara, however long you are given. ’Tis a blessing not to be shunned. Strength is found with love and is lost with neglect.”
“Cael knows not when to keep his mouth closed.”
“He’s never been particularly good at filtering information, but he’s frank, which is commendable.” He pushed away from the window. “Rihanna’s been tending to Rori while you’ve healed. Moira will be joining my sister on the morrow, as she’s occupied with our sons. Horano has made sure your wardrobe is stocked while you’re here. The cuffs you don prevent you from leaving my home. Keep in mind, your mere presence beneath my roof will bring Dagda’s wrath upon me. ’Tis best to remain secreted within these walls until all threats to youranamcara, your brother and his partner are addressed. Be mindful when you walk the corridors that you may not be well received among all my family and friends, but no harm shall befall you under my instruction.”
Thaddeus had abandoned the glimpse of freedom of the outdoors as Shaye spoke, returning to the bed as Shaye crossed toward the door. Weakness spread through his muscles, exhausting him on a vicious wave. He finished his tea and placed the empty cup on the nightstand before lowering himself to the edge of the bed.
“You risk much by keeping me. Mayhap ’tis best I return and handle Grison.”
“You’re in no shape or strength to confront him. We’ll discuss logistics another time. How many men he has, where he hides, details I can pass along to Dagda. For now, heed my advice.” He paused at the door and looked back at Thaddeus. A flicker of sadness passed across his expression before itdisappeared. A foreshadowing of how this would all end. “Enjoy your time with Rori. Allow her the gift ofyou.”
Shaye’s words pressed deep into his soul. All this time, he believed he was protecting her by keeping her at a distance until he buckled. As he watched the man pull open the door, conflict stirred, warring within him.
“I now understand the emotions that come with one’sanamcara. The drive to protect and the fury when she is harmed. The sacrifices we’re willing to make for the sake of our beloved.”
Shaye paused, one foot through the doorway. He quirked a brow.
“I understand thetruthof emotions. When the way we feel goes so deep we can’t begin to perceive where it starts. ’Tis as if there is no beginning nor end, for those feelings go on forever. What I once believed to be true was naught more than infatuation. It doesn’t begin to compare to that which consumes me now. Rori has…changed me, and I’m still working to embrace the changes. Alas, to put her in a compromising position as I do your Moira, I still don’t understand why you would risk everything for an enemy. I am grateful for your help, and forever indebted to you, but?—”
“You are not my enemy, Thaddeus. You are your own enemy. As for the risk, aye. Much is at risk, but innocents are being protected from a common enemy. A true enemy.” The corner of his mouth lifted. “Ultimately, you can thank Moira for finding it in her heart to forgive your atrocities and encourage me in my decision to lend my aid. ’Twas her sympathy and selfless acceptance at your arrival that allowed me enough comfort to take you in and heal you.” Shaye waved a hand. “Rest. I’ll bring a meal tray to you this eve.”
“I’d like to see Rori.”
“Gather your strength. You’ll see her soon enough.”
He was not granted time to rest before Cael stormed into the room, rushed straight to where he rose to stand beside the bed, and cracked him in the jaw with a mind-blowing punch that flung him onto the mattress. Thaddeus lifted himself onto his forearms, stared, stunned, at the blanket as stars twinkled through his left eye, and the metallically sweet essence of blood seeped between his teeth. The throb of pain blossomed into a bone-splitting sting a moment later that shattered his shock. He grimaced, brushing his fingers over the tender area of his face as he pushed himself upright.
“Bloodyhell.” Thaddeus shifted his jaw, cringing at the shooting ache that traveled through his skull. He cut his gaze up to his enraged brother. “What the bloody fuck was that for?”
Another fist met his other cheek as an answer, flinging him back to the mattress. Cael pounced, his hands wringing Thaddeus’s neck, cutting off the air from his lungs.
“You fucking bastard!” Cael lifted Thaddeus from the mattress, then punched him back down, his fingers digging into his throat. Thaddeus grabbed Cael by the shoulders, wedged his leg between their bodies, and shoved his brother back with all his depleted strength. Cael scowled as he stumbled away, his face twisted with anger. “How the fuck could you do such a despicable thing?! How could you stab Dagda in the back with his own dagger for afuckingwhoreand sacrifice your fucking life for the likes of that worthless, selfish bitch?!” Cael grabbed one of the teapots from the nightstand and pitched it at Thaddeus’s head. He flung up his arm, deflecting the object, but the force of the contact still caused it to break around his wrist. “You!Fucking!Fool!”
Thaddeus lowered his arm, composing himself, shutting away the warring emotions to level a flat gaze on Cael. “I toldyou once before, ’twould be unfortunate for you to learn the truth of whence I come, and the past I’ve hidden from you.”
“How could you do such a reckless thing, Thaddeus?”
The anger melted away, exposing a facet of his brother that lanced through his heart with the force of a magic-driven sword. No arrow could hurt the way his brother’s helpless grief hurt. Naught could bring him shame the way Cael fell to his knees, shoulders slumped, palms raised to the ceiling in a motion of hopelessness.
Naught, except the impending reaction he’d face when he delivered his dark past to the one who mattered to him most.
Pressing his lips together, Thaddeus slid off the mattress to the floor before Cael, the throbbing pain in his face muted by the suffering Cael did naught to hide. He knelt before his brother, witnessing the strain of emotions tormenting his expressions, twisting, straining, melting from one feature to another. His breaths came hard and sharp, then ceased on bated breaths before trying to gain composure, only to begin the cycle again. There was naught he could do to comfort him, for the truth had been exposed and there was no changing the past.
Cael shook his head, his forehead deeply creased. Loose strands of golden hair fell over his face when he finally lifted his shimmering silver eyes to Thaddeus’s. Thaddeus clenched his teeth, a knot swelling in his throat at the sight of his brother’s tears.
“Two hundred years I’ve never lost hope in you. I never believed for a moment you couldn’t find yourself and break free of her fucking hold on you. Two. Hundred. Years. I waited for my brother to return because you were all I had left of our family after our parents’ deaths. You, my big brother. The man I admired most in the world and wanted so much to be. I loved you and when you turned your back onme to follow that fucking whore, it broke something inside me. That the brother who would go days without nourishment while healing Fae who fell to ailments or nurturing orphaned animals back to health, who tried to bring the dead back to life to cease the suffering of the living in their grief, who took upon himself pain and suffering to ease the burden from others in their times of mourning could so coldly walk away from me without as much as a glance back.”
As heavy as Cael’s words weighed on his conscience, he maintained his brother’s narrowed gaze, absorbing his agony through the restraints of the shackles at his wrists. The foul, tarry essence of unspeakable sorrow seeped into his body, diluted by the shackles but sickening nonetheless.
