Her eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Did you do something wrong?”
“Who did what wrong?” Finn asked as he slipped into the tent. His cheeks were flushed, and his hair was disheveled. It was still shocking to see such blatant evidence that he was bonded to a man and quite happy with the arrangement.
Zoya waved him over, her eyes still locked on me. “Patrick was telling me how he ended up in that forest alone.”
Chewing on my bottom lip, I dropped my gaze to my lap. I didn't want to admit it out loud. But they’d been so kind to me. It felt wrong to keep them in the dark.
“I, uh… I was approached by someone… Another man in town. He was a bully in my youth, and I was surprised when he asked to speak with me alone. He confessed to me that he’d been so cruel all those years because he was in love with me and too scared to admit it. He begged for my forgiveness and told me he wanted a relationship with me. I was so starved for affection, I agreed with him and let him convince me to—” I swallowed hard around the embarrassment, tears pricking my eyes. “To use my mouth on him…” Shame made it impossible to look up, and I spat out the rest as quickly as I could. “After he’d finished, his friends showed up saying it was all a ruse. They wanted to stage it like I’d gotten him drunk and assaulted him. I got scared. So I ran. I should’ve known better. He’s always hated me. I was an idiot and?—”
“Why is Patrick crying?”
Verus’s growl made me jump. I hadn’t heard him enter over the pounding of my heart in my ears. I panicked, shrinking in on myself, worried that Finn or Zoya would tell him my shame, but he didn’t demand again. Instead, he scooped me up carefully and sat in my place, cradling me against his chest as he petted my hair. The freely given affection tore me apart after admitting what I’d done to even get a scrap of attention. I sobbed against his chest until my lungs burned and my eyes felt swollen. He shushed me gently, like a mother would her babe, and when I quieted a little, he hummed a little tune to soothe me.
At some point while I was crying, someone propped my injured leg on some cushions to make me more comfortable in Verus’s lap. I stayed that way for who knew how long until the ache in my heart settled into something manageable. Not once did Verus complain that I was heavy or a sissy for crying like a girl. I’d spent years learning to hide my emotions and come off more manly, but it just wasn’t who I was. And he seemed okay with that.
When I started to nod off, Verus moved to lay me back down on my bed. I clutched harder at his tunic when he tried to pull away.
“Please don’t go.”
I’d said it in my own language, to exhausted to attempt to translate, but he seemed to understand. His expression softened, and he settled beside me on the opposite side of my injured leg, humming and stroking my hair until I fell asleep cuddled against him.
Why couldn’t I have found a man like him before any of this happened? I would have gladly volunteered as a tribute if I knew Verus was waiting for me on the other side.
Eight
Ihadn’t forgotten my argument with Zoya. I was tired of defending my position as Patrick’s protector. I thought only to check on him before going to speak with Orthorr again, but when I found him crying, I could not make myself go. Even after he’d fallen asleep, I didn’t move. His hand was fisted in my tunic, keeping me close, his head resting on my arm. He could not cuddle, not with the injury, but it was obvious he needed to be held. I was not taking that from him, and I wouldn’t allow anyone else to pull me from him, either.
While he cried, Finn and Zoya stepped out to give him privacy to feel his feelings. I still didn’t know what upset him so much, but it didn’t really matter. He would tell me when he was ready. Or when he had the ability. He’d surprised me earlier by speaking to me. I hadn’t known he could converse so well already.
Finn came back while Patrick slept. He spent a lot of time sitting with members of the clan, writing down our stories. We shared our history through our stories but had never written them down before. Finn was good with words and writing. He volunteered to write it all down for us, and Orthorr was pleasedto accept. That Finn was making time to check in with Patrick and teach him the language made me appreciate him even more.
“You have been teaching him,” I murmured, quiet enough not to disturb Patrick.
Finn nodded. “He wants to understand. It makes him feel better. He’s still scared.”
My hold on Patrick tightened a little. “Why? What makes him afraid?” Dread settled into my gut. “It is not me, is it?”
I tried so hard to be calm around him. I got frustrated during my argument with Zoya. I didn’t want to scare him.
Thankfully, Finn shook his head with a smile. “No. Not you. When he speaks of you, it is with fond exasperation. You are a bad teacher.”
My mouth twisted to hide my smile. That wasn’t a terrible assessment. I wasn’t sure how to teach our tongue. I pointed out things and told him the words, but I didn’t know where else to go with such things.
“I am grateful to you for teaching him.”
He patted the leather-bound book in his lap that Rath acquired for him from another clan. “It’s what I’m hoping to do for the rest when they come. To help them understand. He’s kind to let me practice with him.”
They practiced with each other. Finn with his teaching, Patrick with his learning. I hoped they became good friends. It would be one more reason for Patrick to stay.
“What is he afraid of?”
Finn’s brow furrowed a little. “I will not tell the story. It is not mine to tell. But he is afraid his town will look for him. They want to hurt him.”
Outrage filled me, and it took great work to not crush Patrick against my chest protectively. “For what reason?”
Finn looked resigned when he said, “For being like me. For being attracted to males. It is not allowed in most towns. If they catch you, they’ll kill you for it.”
I’d heard this from Finn before. He’d had trouble believing such things were of no consequence here. Especially since a tribute from another town was shaming him for it. It took time for him to accept he was free to love who he wished. He chose Rath.
